ASD folk should stick together like ethnic minorities
Oh, and by the way ... I did not read any of Dale Carnegie's books until after I had made a successful life for myself. If he was still alive, I could easily (and justifiably) point out exactly where he was wrong.
And you should be proud of your achievement. I too have done many things. I am constantly trying to grow and improve. But my ASD diagnosis helped me identify why certain things are so hard for me. But I also recognize that my experience is not the same as others here. I have seen members struggling with many challenges. I just think if we are going to advocate for autists, we need to be advocating for us all.
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
When I have been in a work enviroment, I have always gone in, done my job and gone home. I will attend the odd work oriented event outside work, but only when I have to. I rarely ever attended parties.
It is not that I would not want to meet others. I do. It is more that I have always done better in very small one to one groups of just a few people and I have always tried to aboid large gatherings inside buildings. I have done it on many occasions but it is not something I can relax in. I am "On edge" and "Tense" in gatherings which takes a lot out of me, so I will usually say no unless it is something important or I can relax in because it is a smaller group where I know what will be happening so I know what to expect.
question are you only tense around NT gatherings? i mean an Eskimo would be pretty "tense" around a gathering of Albanians lol. In all seriousness people tend to "vibe" well with those they can relate to due to similar experiences/and/or culture/similar challenges they face etc.
Uhmm. Well. The largest gatherings I have been to in recent years are either model railway exhibitions or model railway related sales fairs or the odd church gathering in a converted barn. I would have to nip outside with the church gathering if it got a bit much. The model railway exhibitions were ok if they were not too big. The larger ones I would start to panic more in because I was further asay from the door with too mny people in the way. Foe some eason I need to be near a door, which goes back to my collage days where a whole class of pupils suddenly turned against me without warning and blocked my exit out the door. I was around 18 at the time and I have always had issues since. It is ok if everyone is sitting down and I have a clear exit. I am finding I can't do queues in shops due to this if the layout is such that I can get hemmed in from behind, which is far more likely due to covid one way systems so many shops I tend to need to avoid.
That is our problem we ONLY hang out/support each other when we are doing weird hobbies which repel people. (TRUST me I have weird hobbies too but at SOME point I must PRETEND to conform if I don't want to die alone). Take my black/puerto rican example. do blacks/puerto ricans/dominicans like me who face discrimination hide alone in their rooms on the computer and only come out to go to MLK day/Puerto Rico day parade? NO! we stick together and protect themselves and unionize to deal with our challenges!
lets do the same or "help a brotha out" as those communities say
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
Oh, and by the way ... I did not read any of Dale Carnegie's books until after I had made a successful life for myself. If he was still alive, I could easily (and justifiably) point out exactly where he was wrong.
And you should be proud of your achievement. I too have done many things. I am constantly trying to grow and improve. But my ASD diagnosis helped me identify why certain things are so hard for me. But I also recognize that my experience is not the same as others here. I have seen members struggling with many challenges. I just think if we are going to advocate for autists, we need to be advocating for us all.
amen at least you are with me
When I have been in a work enviroment, I have always gone in, done my job and gone home. I will attend the odd work oriented event outside work, but only when I have to. I rarely ever attended parties.
It is not that I would not want to meet others. I do. It is more that I have always done better in very small one to one groups of just a few people and I have always tried to aboid large gatherings inside buildings. I have done it on many occasions but it is not something I can relax in. I am "On edge" and "Tense" in gatherings which takes a lot out of me, so I will usually say no unless it is something important or I can relax in because it is a smaller group where I know what will be happening so I know what to expect.
question are you only tense around NT gatherings? i mean an Eskimo would be pretty "tense" around a gathering of Albanians lol. In all seriousness people tend to "vibe" well with those they can relate to due to similar experiences/and/or culture/similar challenges they face etc.
Uhmm. Well. The largest gatherings I have been to in recent years are either model railway exhibitions or model railway related sales fairs or the odd church gathering in a converted barn. I would have to nip outside with the church gathering if it got a bit much. The model railway exhibitions were ok if they were not too big. The larger ones I would start to panic more in because I was further asay from the door with too mny people in the way. Foe some eason I need to be near a door, which goes back to my collage days where a whole class of pupils suddenly turned against me without warning and blocked my exit out the door. I was around 18 at the time and I have always had issues since. It is ok if everyone is sitting down and I have a clear exit. I am finding I can't do queues in shops due to this if the layout is such that I can get hemmed in from behind, which is far more likely due to covid one way systems so many shops I tend to need to avoid.
That is our problem we ONLY hang out/support each other when we are doing weird hobbies which repel people. (TRUST me I have weird hobbies too but at SOME point I must PRETEND to conform if I don't want to die alone). Take my black/puerto rican example. do blacks/puerto ricans/dominicans like me who face discrimination hide alone in their rooms on the computer and only come out to go to MLK day/Puerto Rico day parade? NO! we stick together and protect themselves and unionize to deal with our challenges!
lets do the same or "help a brotha out" as those communities say
What ideas do you have on how to advocate do you have? So far I have only heard you say let's form a tribe and your only skill is agriculture. What actually workable ideas do you have for how to advocate do you have?
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
When I have been in a work enviroment, I have always gone in, done my job and gone home. I will attend the odd work oriented event outside work, but only when I have to. I rarely ever attended parties.
It is not that I would not want to meet others. I do. It is more that I have always done better in very small one to one groups of just a few people and I have always tried to aboid large gatherings inside buildings. I have done it on many occasions but it is not something I can relax in. I am "On edge" and "Tense" in gatherings which takes a lot out of me, so I will usually say no unless it is something important or I can relax in because it is a smaller group where I know what will be happening so I know what to expect.
question are you only tense around NT gatherings? i mean an Eskimo would be pretty "tense" around a gathering of Albanians lol. In all seriousness people tend to "vibe" well with those they can relate to due to similar experiences/and/or culture/similar challenges they face etc.
Uhmm. Well. The largest gatherings I have been to in recent years are either model railway exhibitions or model railway related sales fairs or the odd church gathering in a converted barn. I would have to nip outside with the church gathering if it got a bit much. The model railway exhibitions were ok if they were not too big. The larger ones I would start to panic more in because I was further asay from the door with too mny people in the way. Foe some eason I need to be near a door, which goes back to my collage days where a whole class of pupils suddenly turned against me without warning and blocked my exit out the door. I was around 18 at the time and I have always had issues since. It is ok if everyone is sitting down and I have a clear exit. I am finding I can't do queues in shops due to this if the layout is such that I can get hemmed in from behind, which is far more likely due to covid one way systems so many shops I tend to need to avoid.
That is our problem we ONLY hang out/support each other when we are doing weird hobbies which repel people. (TRUST me I have weird hobbies too but at SOME point I must PRETEND to conform if I don't want to die alone). Take my black/puerto rican example. do blacks/puerto ricans/dominicans like me who face discrimination hide alone in their rooms on the computer and only come out to go to MLK day/Puerto Rico day parade? NO! we stick together and protect themselves and unionize to deal with our challenges!
lets do the same or "help a brotha out" as those communities say
What ideas do you have on how to advocate do you have? So far I have only heard you say let's form a tribe and your only skill is agriculture. What actually workable ideas do you have for how to advocate do you have?
I'll give mine but what are your ideas besides go to obscure hobby gatherings that socially repel others? We are too isolated! You don't have to like me but science says social isolation LITERALLY kills (it shortens lifespans) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_isolation (Besides if you did not know this agriculture is not throwing seeds into the ground, their are literally college DEGREES designated to agriculture study).
When I have been in a work enviroment, I have always gone in, done my job and gone home. I will attend the odd work oriented event outside work, but only when I have to. I rarely ever attended parties.
It is not that I would not want to meet others. I do. It is more that I have always done better in very small one to one groups of just a few people and I have always tried to aboid large gatherings inside buildings. I have done it on many occasions but it is not something I can relax in. I am "On edge" and "Tense" in gatherings which takes a lot out of me, so I will usually say no unless it is something important or I can relax in because it is a smaller group where I know what will be happening so I know what to expect.
question are you only tense around NT gatherings? i mean an Eskimo would be pretty "tense" around a gathering of Albanians lol. In all seriousness people tend to "vibe" well with those they can relate to due to similar experiences/and/or culture/similar challenges they face etc.
Uhmm. Well. The largest gatherings I have been to in recent years are either model railway exhibitions or model railway related sales fairs or the odd church gathering in a converted barn. I would have to nip outside with the church gathering if it got a bit much. The model railway exhibitions were ok if they were not too big. The larger ones I would start to panic more in because I was further asay from the door with too mny people in the way. Foe some eason I need to be near a door, which goes back to my collage days where a whole class of pupils suddenly turned against me without warning and blocked my exit out the door. I was around 18 at the time and I have always had issues since. It is ok if everyone is sitting down and I have a clear exit. I am finding I can't do queues in shops due to this if the layout is such that I can get hemmed in from behind, which is far more likely due to covid one way systems so many shops I tend to need to avoid.
That is our problem we ONLY hang out/support each other when we are doing weird hobbies which repel people. (TRUST me I have weird hobbies too but at SOME point I must PRETEND to conform if I don't want to die alone). Take my black/puerto rican example. do blacks/puerto ricans/dominicans like me who face discrimination hide alone in their rooms on the computer and only come out to go to MLK day/Puerto Rico day parade? NO! we stick together and protect themselves and unionize to deal with our challenges!
lets do the same or "help a brotha out" as those communities say
What ideas do you have on how to advocate do you have? So far I have only heard you say let's form a tribe and your only skill is agriculture. What actually workable ideas do you have for how to advocate do you have?
I'll give mine but what are your ideas besides go to obscure hobby gatherings that socially repel others? We are too isolated! You don't have to like me but science says social isolation LITERALLY kills (it shortens lifespans) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_isolation (Besides if you did not know this agriculture is not throwing seeds into the ground, their are literally college DEGREES designated to agriculture study).
You didn't answer my question, how does agriculture tie into advocacy is what I asked. I didn't say it was completely useless, but how does it apply to advancing civil rights?
You also neglect to take into account stress shortens your lifespan and many people are stressed out by social gatherings.
-discuss
I agree, but building such a community will be a long process. I would be very interested in your comments on my Longterm visions for the autistic community.
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
-discuss
I agree, but building such a community will be a long process. I would be very interested in your comments on my Longterm visions for the autistic community.
its a good idea but we need to think bottom up. I am 100% in support of your idea but we need to start small
why don't we do the same? we move where the other ASD are!
_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.
Agreed. That's why I said it would be a long process.
Please see my private message to you.
I have a small local group that is currently meeting online due to the COVID crisis but met monthly in person before the COVID crisis and will hopefully meet in person again after at least one of the vaccines becomes widely available. There are also some other groups in the NYC area.
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.
I love the idea of ASD folk sticking together, but it's not going to work in the physical sense, those few of us interested in the idea would be too thin in the ground. Banding together through the internet would be more realistic.
What I've noticed on WP though is that we tend to be highly individual in our views and pull in different directions. Also somewhat immune to groupthink. I can't see us rising up as one after getting fired up by a stirring speech, for example. Autists don't seem to be like that, which makes it hard to act cohesively.
Even so, many of us do have some shared concerns and I think there is scope for advocating for each other through internet groups.
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
What I've noticed on WP though is that we tend to be highly individual in our views and pull in different directions. Also somewhat immune to groupthink. I can't see us rising up as one after getting fired up by a stirring speech, for example. Autists don't seem to be like that, which makes it hard to act cohesively.
Even so, many of us do have some shared concerns and I think there is scope for advocating for each other through internet groups.
No we SHOULD band together in the physical sense one day. we spend FAAAR too much time on the internet. Real life goes on OUTSIDE of the internet.
We can't be individualistic. All major human achievments like the Great Wall of China, The Hoover Damn, etc. were done COLLECTIVELY.
When immigrants came to america and did not fit in (kinda like how we are "immigrants" to NT society) they did not hide and rot away in their rooms they worked COLLECTIVELY not individually to thrive.
Sure WP wants to be individualistic however, science disagrees https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_isolation#Effects
why don't we do the same? we move where the other ASD are!
Many of us cannot afford to move. In any case, there are autistic people everywhere.
What we need is to build more and more local groups of various kinds, in more and more places. Non-local forums like Wrong Planet have an important place in the community too, but they are not enough.
You and I can focus on the NYC area. I hope we can work together, given your enthusiasm for autistic peer community-building. To whatever extent we succeed, hopefully we can then set an example for autistic people in other locales.
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
Last edited by Mona Pereth on 11 Jan 2021, 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
We need both. I agree with you that we need more real-life meetings, at least once the COVID crisis has been dealt with. In the meantime, we need locale-based online chats as well as non-local online forums like Wrong Planet.
When immigrants came to america and did not fit in (kinda like how we are "immigrants" to NT society) they did not hide and rot away in their rooms they worked COLLECTIVELY not individually to thrive.
Actually, most immigrant groups thrive through a mix of individualism and collectivism. Banding together is important, but individual achievement (working hard in school, launching and maintaining small businesses, etc.) is important also, and the two complement each other.
But I agree with you that autistic people need much more of a sense of community than most of us have now. To that end, we need to build a wider variety of groups that a wider variety autistic people will want to attend, and those of us who want to build them need to develop leadership skills. (See also Autistic-friendly social skills vs. blending in with NT's.)
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
For someone who doesn't like licking NT boot you sure as f**k don't understand that those kinds of studies are done on NTs.
Autistic people are self contained.
It's not my fault if your family don't love you enough to be enough for you.
Enjoy the super spreader events you're planning.
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Not actually a girl
He/him
