Website against Asperger's Syndrome: HeartlessAspergers.com

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Mainstream Australian media article about "Affective deprivation disorder" caused by Aspergers and other conditions.

The empathy gap wrecking relationships

So they are broadening the label. Now they should include anxiety and depression and personality disorders.

BTW you need to enter the title of the article in google as the link to the publication (The Australian Newspaper) is subscription only

So according to the article the wife developed AfDD as a result from the trauma of emotional deprivation experienced by living with her partner - a male adult with low emotional/empathetic quotient (EQ) diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome.

What's interesting is that it that AfDD is experienced by wives of men with narcissistic personality disorder. It does explain the weirdly distant cold behavior of Melania Trump, obviously a trade off for her gold digging...

As the father of a child with ASD I also wonder if my wife and I have become less empathetic toward others and more withdrawn? we certainly notice our friendship circles have diminished! of course this could all be a coincidence...

Last edited by cyberdad on 11 Mar 2017, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No AfDD is acquired by living with somebody with one of those diagnostic conditions...it's not a extension of the ASD label (according to the article anyway)

Right, apart from that literally being the entirety of Astons idea. Also, it's curiously gendered: can NT men get the alleged disorder from being in relationships with aspie women, or would that just be an example of evil, entitled men unreasonably demanding displays of affection from poor, victimized women?

Does fault really matter? The end result is that one of the partner's emotional needs are not being met. It may not be intentional or malicious on the autistic person's part, but this doesn't really help the NT.

If there was any validity to CADD, then fault or no would be a different question.

I'm just pointing out how rich it is to try to emphasize not pointing fingers and casting blame in a news article about the alleged disorder, when the originator of the term hosts a website that is literally nothing but demonizing and casting blame.

How does does that even make any sense? If the idea is that AS is the source of this AfDD or whatever, then that is tantamount to the same thing as the AS partner being at fault.

I wrote a blog post about how I feel about this whole Cassandra thing.

https://mynoneabdlthoughts.wordpress.co ... -bullshit/

The distinction is about intent. Malignant/Malicious narcissism is distinguished from regular narcissism by sadistic and psychopathic behaviors.

It should be noted that neither Malignant Narcissism nor Affective deprivation disorder is in any diagnostic manuals.

Firstly, intent is actually not relevant whether or not deciding someone is at fault (especially if a relationship is considered abusive, for example). Secondly (and this follows from my first point), saying that the AS partner is not "at fault" because he/she didn't "mean" it does absolutely nothing to address some of the concerns we initially had about the old incarnations of this "disorder" like CADD or the Cassandra Phenomenon. If the old notion of using CADD to deny an AS partner of child custody by using the notion CADD, like what Sheila Jennings Linehan tried to promote, rears it's ugly head again then nobody will give a crap if the AS parent "meant" it or not because the only thing that's considered in such cases is the interests of the child. Finally, it also does absolutely nothing to address the original concerns that this "disorder" can be used to inadvertently support abuse against AS people (if they're unlucky enough to find themselves in an abusive relationship) because it encourages everyone to always believe the NT partner regardless of any evidence to the contrary and CADD can be used as excuse to blame the victim.

I thought you were saying in your opinion it did not matter and you were opining that the Aspie should be blamed. I agree Cassandra will be used against aspies no matter what caveats are used, similar to the situation where crime suspects Aspergers diagnosis are always bieng emphasized lately.

I strongly suspect the person who made this site is herself mentally ill. You don't make an entire website attacking a mental disorder if you aren't. Also, I would think that anyone who spent a few months living with me would be generally aware of my shortcomings. This person went through an entire marriage without figuring out what her partner was like. How thick can she be? She also mentions being burned by a friend with Asperger's. I wouldn't be surprised if she randomly diagnosed that friend out of paranoia.

This is a hate site, plain and simple. I would definitely understand if she had made a support site for spouses and family members of autistics. This isn't that - the entire thing is written as a warning, saying people "have the right to know," as if there's something malignant about being autistic.
Our mental disorder is a challenge for us and people we have relationships with. It's worth explaining those challenges and giving support. Her format isn't designed to do that. It's designed to scare people away from us. This format would only be appropriate for mental illnesses that actively victimize people, like sociopathy, sadistic personality disorder, or malignant narcissism. This is completely inappropriate for autism. If you're having trouble removing yourself from the topic, a more comparable mental disorder might be bipolar disorder. I've known way more people who've had their lives undermined through relationships with people with bipolar disorder than autism, though the vast majority of people who are bipolar are wonderful. Two of my closest friends growing up were bipolar. Making a website designed to scare people away from bipolar people would be disgusting and inhumane, just as it is to do so with autism. Make a support site, not a scare site. We don't actively harm people. Our biggest challenge is that we don't always know how people are feeling just by looking at them, and we don't always know how to act. There are ways around this, like verbal communication. It's a challenge. Support can help. But this site is disgusting.

In the website she tries to minimize what she's doing repeatedly, again saying people have "the right to know." If you ask any racist or white supremacist what they're doing, they'll minimize it in a very comparable way. Talk to a Neo-Nazi or KKK member and they'll probably say they're not a supremacist, but rather a "separatist" or a "nationalist." It's BS. I want to know the name of the person who runs this site, she deserves to be held responsible.

Amebix: she is not alone. She have a mafia supporting her and her site.

Maxine Aston

Maxine Aston coined and publicized "Affective Deprivation Disorder". I have seen no evidence iheartless is her site.