Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ]
26 Aug 2009, 7:15 pm
Quote:
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological disorder on the autism spectrum that has been recognized only since about 1994. It has many features of classical autism, but it lacks the intellectual learning disabilities. Individuals with this syndrome have difficulty with social aspects of intelligence, such as understanding what those around them think and feel. As a result, they often behave inappropriately in social situations or act in ways that appear unkind or callous. Many have difficulty planning and coping with change despite average or even exceptional intelligence in academic or intellectual areas. This manifests itself as a notable lack of "common sense." Most importantly, this disorder has profound effects on the family members and others in close contact. It is the spouses, siblings, children, and co-workers of those affected with Asperger's Syndrome that experience the emotional pain, especially when the correct diagnosis has been delayed until relatively late in adulthood. These family members are the ones we intend to help. Feelings of rejection and loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members of an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome. Their feelings are not validated, acknowledged, or even recognized by the afflicted person.
This is quoted from a family support sight for those who have a friend or family member who have Aspergers.
Ok, so first I want to say up front that I think support for family and friends of someone with Aspergers is not bad, that is not the problem I have with this.
The problem I have (especially with the last sentence) is the affirmation of the belief that those with Aspergers do not see the problems it causes for those around them and the vis versa that so many family and friends only see the problems they have from it. It's moments where that attitude comes up that you want to tell the person "You think being around me is bad, you should try being me." but then you feel like a jerk for putting you above them and so on and so forth. Their feelings might not be validated or acknowledged in a way that they can tell, but I don't get the continuing the belief that we aspies have no empathy just because we cannot convey it.
Anyone else kind of feel like both sides are playing the part of someone who has been blind from birth and someone else trying to explain to that person what red is?
Last edited by barbedlotus on 27 Aug 2009, 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
26 Aug 2009, 7:38 pm
Quote:
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological disorder on the autism spectrum that has been recognized only since about 1994.Individuals have difficulty with social aspects of intelligence, such as understanding what those around them think and feel. As a result, they often behave inappropriately in social situations or act in ways that appear unkind or callous. Most importantly, this disorder has profound effects on the family members and others in close contact. It is the spouses, siblings, children, and co-workers of those affected with Asperger's Syndrome that experience the emotional pain, especially when the correct diagnosis has been delayed until relatively late in adulthood.
What a bunch of jerks! Oh, it's everyone around us that's suffering - the autistic person can't have any problems, hell, they probably can't even feel anything, 'cause they're brain-damaged. Its our family, co-workers and friends (wait - not friends, because we aren't supposed to be able to make friends,right?) who are the long suffering martyrs. Poor pitiful babies who only have to experience anxiety attacks and meltdowns vicariously from the outside. Schmucks.
barbedlotus wrote:
This is quoted from a family support sight for those who have a friend or family member who have Aspergers.
Ok, so first I want to say up front that I think support for family and friends of someone with Aspergers is not bad, that is not the problem I have with this.
The problem I have (especially with the last sentence) is the affirmation of the belief that those with Aspergers do not see the problems it causes for those around them and the vis versa that so many family and friends only see the problems they have from it. It's moments where that attitude comes up that you want to tell the person "You think being around me is bad, you should try being me." but then you feel like a jerk for putting you above them and so on and so forth. Their feelings might not be validated or acknowledged in a way that they can tell, but I don't get the continuing the belief that we aspies have no empathy just because we cannot convey it.
Anyone else kind of feel like both sides are playing the part of someone who has been blind from birth and someone else trying to explain to that person what red is?
(The site actually is a good support sight for family and friends, their intro just irritated me so sorry about the little rant).
Ok, so first I want to say up front that I think support for family and friends of someone with Aspergers is not bad, that is not the problem I have with this.
The problem I have (especially with the last sentence) is the affirmation of the belief that those with Aspergers do not see the problems it causes for those around them and the vis versa that so many family and friends only see the problems they have from it. It's moments where that attitude comes up that you want to tell the person "You think being around me is bad, you should try being me." but then you feel like a jerk for putting you above them and so on and so forth. Their feelings might not be validated or acknowledged in a way that they can tell, but I don't get the continuing the belief that we aspies have no empathy just because we cannot convey it.
Anyone else kind of feel like both sides are playing the part of someone who has been blind from birth and someone else trying to explain to that person what red is?(The site actually is a good support sight for family and friends, their intro just irritated me so sorry about the little rant).
NP, I think I'm actually more outraged than you are. All I see is a bunch of smug, self righteous putzes who want to use a disabled person's handicap to justify feeling sorry for themselves, and treat the disabled as if they're idiot automatons incapable of any feelings of their own.
Gee, that level of self-involvement sounds suspiciously like the very so-called Aspergian traits they're bashing.
26 Aug 2009, 8:07 pm
26 Aug 2009, 9:07 pm
26 Aug 2009, 11:04 pm
27 Aug 2009, 9:48 am
27 Aug 2009, 11:24 am
27 Aug 2009, 2:14 pm
Electric_Kite
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Joined: 20 Aug 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 500
Location: crashing to the ground
28 Aug 2009, 2:14 am
07 Sep 2009, 10:38 am
barbedlotus wrote:
Quote:
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological disorder on the autism spectrum that has been recognized only since about 1994. It has many features of classical autism, but it lacks the intellectual learning disabilities. Individuals with this syndrome have difficulty with social aspects of intelligence, such as understanding what those around them think and feel. As a result, they often behave inappropriately in social situations or act in ways that appear unkind or callous. Many have difficulty planning and coping with change despite average or even exceptional intelligence in academic or intellectual areas. This manifests itself as a notable lack of "common sense." Most importantly, this disorder has profound effects on the family members and others in close contact. It is the spouses, siblings, children, and co-workers of those affected with Asperger's Syndrome that experience the emotional pain, especially when the correct diagnosis has been delayed until relatively late in adulthood. These family members are the ones we intend to help. Feelings of rejection and loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members of an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome. Their feelings are not validated, acknowledged, or even recognized by the afflicted person.
Unbelievable...
As affects many people in different ways. How can they stipulate that all Asperger's are aloof and void of all human compassion.
I bet that article was written by someone with a crutch, whether rightfully so or not.
I would like to sit down with this person in a discussion and I am positive she would compose her words more carefully.
A lot of people ( myself included at times
) write something before thinking about the consequences their words have on other people.
I realize after a while though when I intentionally or unintentionally made hurt full remarks and have never had any problems apologizing.
Maybe the poster of this article has AS as well as she/he is unaware how many people are hurt by those words?!
07 Sep 2009, 12:02 pm
What disturbs me is the use of the in those sentences:
"Most importantly, this disorder has profound effects on the family members and others in close contact. It is the spouses, siblings, children, and co-workers of those affected with Asperger's Syndrome that experience the emotional pain".
And:
"Feelings of rejection and loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members of an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome."
And the last sentence in bold too.
I mean: It is the family members and coworkers that experience the emotional pain - not us with Asperger's. 
The author should try to ask some of ourselves, and might get quite another picture! (If s/he even thinks we can express it properly... 
)
And "feelings of rejection / loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members..." - as if it was unavoidable, and as if it was such in every single case.
I'm sure a lot of us can tell that feelings of rejection and loneliness have played (or may still play) a major role in the very person with AS's life! But the article doesn't seem to mention that.
If the NTs of the family are the majority, they can seek support by each other so they don't have to feel lonely or rejected... or am I missing something??
And then there is the "most importantly" part... ie. the most important problem in AS is not the problems the aspie gets, but the problems his / her family and coworkers get?! The aspie's issues are unimportant - or they are only problems because they are problems to the surroundings, who are the real sufferers!?
Hmm, maybe one would have to add to the register of diagnoses: "Family member of an AS person"??
The statements of this article make me angry. 
07 Sep 2009, 6:51 pm
DW_a_mom wrote:
I think a lot of these places have it wrong. People need to learn that AS is NOT uncaring, as the parents on our parenting board here can attest. The AS individual may, however, have a difficult time expressing things in ways the NT person can relate to. SOME AS do lack emotion, and lacking emotion aren't going to express it, but unscientifically I really do not see this as the norm; many AS seem to feel much more intensely, and its that intensity that gets in the way of life.
having experienced varying degrees of this in the past I can say even when it's not lack of communicating emotions, we do have emotions, sometimes people lose hope in the world and stop paying attention to them, but every human on the planet has emotions, no exceptions, it can't happen any more with aspies then NTs, any decent shrink can attest to that
and as to the family support sites, they sound like they want us cured, shouldn't they all just join autism speaks so that they don't have to pretend they care about our input
18 Sep 2009, 1:29 am
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