What is the difference between Pity and Compassion?

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What is the difference between Pity and Compassion?

In context to autism politics and activism by some self-advocates they claim other advocacy politics are pity? Can you explain the difference between compassion and pity. Also at one point can intolerance toward compassion by means of it being called pity when applicable be unacceptable. The idea that people care about people with autism insights needed adaptation, treatment rights and understanding for some that need it. If someone who is otherwise very high functioning and intelligent that successfully attends college calls compassion pity for those who are not as fortunate where is the line drawn ethically so they may be considered emotionally intolerant and frankly discriminatory.

Compassion is the awareness of another's suffering and the wish to relieve it. Pity is the sympathy for another person's plight.

IMO, I view compassion almost the same as empathy. It is trying to alleviate someone else's suffering (or perceived suffering) Pity is feeling sorry for someone

A totally convenient and made up definition on the second half.

Based on this definition it's hard to separate compassion and pity least collectively. In how others have "accused" others advocacy of pity they have incorrectly done so according to this definition. My concern is compassion is made out to be an insulting form of compassion said as pity. To me many times when others call advocacy pity like for instance treatment advancement it's more so they do not want others to feel sorry for them. However treatment advancement is about alleviating the hardship of others in basis.

Calling forms of advocacy pity can also be used as a political tool for an agenda. To hide weaknesses socially indirectly to sugar coat autism for the benefit of politics related to insurance agencies, social service needs in budgets, treatment advancements and for the sake of abortion politics. Bias seems ever so relevant but one issue seems to conflict with the other especially when one can be perceived as making compassion out to be pity.

Compassion and pity and similar in that they both require an understanding of the other person's situation. The difference is that compassion is where you want to help, and pity is where you don't want to or don't know how.

Now, if you want to punch holes in that definition, please, by all means provide us with the correct answer, O Wise Professor of Autism.

there is no absolute diference.it is in the eyes of who is giving or receiving pity and or compasion.there will never be a final resolution to this that everyone will agree on it is to subjective.your thoughts and feelings on this matter are as good as anyones.there is no right or wrong on this issue

They are used interchangeably that is true, but pity doesn't indicate helping others.

Last edited by Gedrene on 20 Jul 2011, 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dictionary.com
pity: sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one to give relief or aid or to show mercy
compassion: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Merriam-Webster online dictionary
compassion: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it
pity: sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy

Answers.com
pity: 1-Sympathy and sorrow aroused by the misfortune or suffering of another.
2-A matter of regret: It's a pity she can't attend the reception.
compassion: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

Compassion is the awareness of another's suffering and the wish to relieve it. Pity is the sympathy for another person's plight.

In my mind the word "pity' denotes some amount of disgust. It seems to have a context of 'the person is helpless/powerless' and I feel bad for them because of what has arisen from that.

Compassion is just identification with someone else's situation, but still suggests that you respect them as a person.

If something bad happens that destroys someone's life and they can't lift a finger to make it better - you would pity them. If something bad happens and you still respect their strength and will in dealing with whatever it is, then you have compassion for them.

As far as working with these in real life, reading the difference when they are being demonstrated by someone, I couldn't tell the difference. That's probably just my Aspergers showing though.

The wise one agrees. It's just the butt-head avatar. I've seen that show. It is quite profoundly weird.

I feel the exact same way. I can look up and tell the differences if I read in a dictionary, but I can't in real life situations. I'd rather have people be there for me that actually have some sort of interest in me rather feel sorry for me, or feel as if they have do it in order to prevent feelings being hurt.

I mean, if I didn't have any problems, or if I didn't have something traumatic happen if my life you knew about, would you have any reason to associate with me. More than likely, no. That's one thing about society that I don't understand. What happens after a traumatic event, such as death? Everyone is there for you, and then, you don't hear from them again.

I see the same thing within the media. On ESPN several years ago, they tried to place Virginia Tech as 'America's Team' because of the shooting that happened on their campus. I believe this was in 2007. They wouldn't care anything about VT if not for the shooting, and I didn't care about their team either, and wouldn't start just because of the shooting. I mean, not even any of the athletes were killed, so that makes it even worse...

I guess my lack of differentiating between the two is an ASD trait.

In real life situations I can tell the difference. If you act on your sympathy you show compassion. If you just show sympathy or sadness about something occuring and do nothing, then it's pity. Remembering those meanings lets me tell which is which.

I think that pity has taken on a connotation in modern use (though not neccesarily reflected in its formal definition, beyond to show mercy) that seems to include to look down upon.
eg I took pity upon the poor hungry stray cat and brought it into my home.
I think compassion implies a greater sence of shared understanding of the plight of another.

To me in application in a support environment Pity leads to a an attitude that a persons problem is permanent and unchanging, and therefore there is no point in trying to get that person to grow and become anything more.
In contrast compassion would be to acknowledge a persons limitations in so much as is neccasary to help them to try and overcome them and grow into all that they are able. Sometimes compassion means telling it like it is

I see the following as acts of Pity
When planning to move one person from a group home into a supported living apartment it was decided that the best plan was to tell none of his housemates so not to upset them. Result one of those housemates came home from work and discovered his best friend was gone, he later punched the mother of another housemate because he percieved her picking up her son to go out for his birthday to mean he was about to lose another good friend.

IN another case a resident was brought to his own fathers funeral with out being told that he was dead, once again because "we don't want to upset him".

I think in either of those cases a more compassionate approach would have been to tell the person the truth and then help them deal with that, rather than being conserned more with ones own convinence.

you could maybe simplify that all down to say that the meaning is essentially the same, however one is a selfish version and the other is a selfless version.

I'll do my best to remember that.
Thanks for the heads up.

The only difference I could ever imagine is:

To have compassion for someone seems to involve having a degree of respect for that person, for their choices, their abilities etc.--it involves seeing the person you feel bad for as equal (really different maybe, but no better or worse) to yourself and leaving aside any negative judgements you may have about them. You feel bad for them and want to help, but your desire to help is unrelated to any negative judgement of that person's abilities/choices/etc.

Whereas it seems like with pity, you can feel bad for someone them but in a way where you also look down on them--for example you might pity someone because they can't do something, don't have something, didn't make a good choice etc.--maybe judging them as "lesser" than you in some way. If you "pity" someone, you might think that you need to fix the person or their situation because that person can't (thinking that person is incapable is of contributing to the solution would be the negative judgement or "looking down on" part).

The word "pitiful" is closely related to the word "pathetic" --and while "pathetic" actually just refers to the way that something evokes an emotional response (i.e. pity or compassion), it's also used with negative connotations as an insult (i.e. "That's just pathetic"). Compassion isn't used that way. Compassion seems to be free of personal judgement.



I don't think you can have compassion for someone and "look down" on them also.