Anyone else annoyed by the Parenthood promo?

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I was watching Dateline and I saw a promo for a new episode for the show Parenthood. These parents were sitting down to tell their son that he has aspergers.

here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FlY9o7Kxjo

What was soo annoying was that the parents looked so HORRIFIED like they were about to tell him he has cancer and is gonna die. Having aspergers can be really hard at times, but never enough to justify the dramatic promo NBC was running. It was just ridiculous.

And now that I think about it, one of these actors will probably say something stupid about how they are talking about the real issue of autism on their show. Then say why its important and blah blah blah.

This is one of the reasons why NTs are so freaked out about autism, because its usually broadcast as something horrible and tottally crippling. (which it can be, but not for every person)


So is anyone else annoyed by it as well?

Very. But then again, I find all drama to be annoying. Unless someones dieing, I don't want to hear it.

Much as I understand your perspective, I also understand the parent perspective here. Telling one's child that s/he is different, no matter what the difference is, is difficult. Kids don't want to hear it (usually), and unless they've already been asking about it, it's a very, very difficult discussion - not because it's autism or asperger's - just because it's a parent telling the child that s/he's different from his/her peers. It can be dyslexia, ADHD,Tourette's - anything that requires an explanation for why the child is different from the other kids. It's hard on the kid and it's hard on the parents. Parents know that the kid is likely to struggle with teasing, some academics, etc. Saying it out loud, to their child, makes it more real, and it hurts them - not because their child is dying, but because parents hate to watch their child hurting.

I have seen this conversation (how do I tell my child) about all kinds of diagnoses, and it's not because parents are horrified by the diagnosis; it's because they want to tell the child in a way that the child will understand, not be traumatized, have a sense of pride in the strengths that s/he has as well as an appreciation for the supports s/he will need. The fact that the parents in this show may be bad at the conversation doesn't mean they are horrible - in the show, they are uncomfortable with many things - it's part of their characteristics.

I find that dramatic overacting awful. I don't know what that show is but I would not watch it.

This is gross. Here Aperger's is treated like grave disability. Awful video. I don't think that telling your kid they have Asperge's syndrome makes things easier & I'm against all therapies. When I was growing up nobody heard about Asperger but I learned fast & hard way that I was different. If I knew back then that I was "disable" it would make me feeling more miserable & I would make less effort to have normal life.

I found the clip to be a very good presentation to a disability that in the publics eye should be taken seriously. Firstly parents have emotions and when they find out a child has a form of autism it is perfectly ok to react horrified at first. Yet as time goes on it is not seen as devastating becuase the parents seem to get used to the label idea. For reasons of protection and advocacy there is good reason to take a label seriously but at the same time the child's self-esteem is important to the developing psyche. We got to find a balance in society that to take something seriously does not endanger the emotional well being thus altering outcomes of individuals. If something is not taken seriously enough such as autism then society thinks well that is just a difference why fund social services, educational accommodations and supportive work place transitional supports.

As a person with HFA I am not insulted and am kind of annoyed at people who are insulted because as a person that needs supports I don't know who you are. Are you the Tea Party. The Tea Party calls people Nazi's for instance like some anti-cure people do and just say autism is a difference. At the same time parents caring about their child and being worried if this is offensive and not natural that then evolves as the child ages perhaps then what mutual understanding between concerned people is made mutually important but simply conflict. If you don't attempt to understand the minds of parents but only seek to be insulted and expect others to agree or else they are bad then it is not reasonable.

As the show progresses it may get into all this on a family and interpersonal level.

Nathan Young
Autism Self-Advocate

I am not a tea party person, I am the opposite. I hate those people. And I am not an anti cure person either.
I am not insulted by the fact parents are scared by the diagnosis.

I'm mad because NBC decided to use aspergers as a promo so they can get people to watch a failing show. And they made it look so scarey, that autism is just the WORST thing ever.

This has nothing to do with actual parents being scared over their child. I'm mad about a FICTIONAL situation that was put in to get ratings and viewers.

I do not watch T.V. I am glad you understand what I'm saying.

saying it out loud does not make it real. if it's real it's real. saying it out loud means you aren't hiding it anymore.
to an aspie an untruth (or confusion / ambiguity) is the most painful thing in the world. and a child that is different than other kids is likely hurting, with or without an explanation.

i am an adult and this (truth vs. sugar coating things or avoiding topics) is an argument i've had with my mother ad nauseam all my life and she cannot understand.

it is not the label and the disclosure which creates the condition. the condition is there and causes difficulties whether you name and demystify it or not. you don't save someone from hurt by ignoring it (or being hesitant to talk about it). when you address it directly you can develop coping strategies and focus on strengths, as well as alleviating any feelings of shame the child might have.

i don't even care about the show Parenthood or TV at all for that matter. i just happened to read this and i had to say something to that post.

it's only fair to address this sort of thing directly, and doubly, triply so with someone with Asperger's who is likely to be very adamant about direct communication.

I agree with you - and as soon as my son was indicating awareness that he was different from other kids, we told him of his diagnosis, in a positive way. Now, years later, he identifies strongly and positively as a person with Asperger's. My words were a bit sloppy, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean that saying out loud makes it more real - for many people, though, saying it out loud makes it feel more real. And if those parents were hiding or in denial, they won't be able to do it anymore. That hurts the parent - and if they do it badly, it hurts the child, too. I've read so many posts here from people who wish they'd been told, or told earlier. I'm very glad we shared the information with our son when we did.

I didn't think they looked horrified, but they did look like, well, like it's something very serious, and like they are telling the child something the child doesn't know, rather than giving the known a label. I suppose it's possible the child is young enough that that could be the case. Not sure though. I really don't know at what age people with Asperger's generally realize they are different.

mine too, maybe .. thanks for reading and responding to what i had to say. it sounds like you have the right idea with your son.

Don't you think that it's possible that b/c Bob Wright used to work for NBC and now runs Autism Speaks, NBC is cashing in on the whole "Make Autism look bad" spectacle?
I mean if you really think about where they came from, Autism Speaks could very well be an NBC-plugged "charity".

I recall seeing an "Autism Speaks" telethon on Youtube a while back while was broadcast on a florida NBC affiliate

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNGJSZAVaTs[/youtube]

Welcome back ci! my take on this whole issue is that this representation ain't all that bad. i was here for the bad old days when people on national news said we all deserved to die for being autistic. unless someone says or implies something like that then its not a big enough del to worry about a minor dramatization or misrepresentation. i mean our time would be much better spent protesting the judge rottenburg center or Jenny McCarthy than a slightly skewed TV show.

Mmmmm... Think I'll continue to categorically avoid any media representation of ASD's (other than watching Big Bang Theory with my MIL, 'cause it makes her happy). All they ever seem to serve to do is piss me off.

I'm pissed off enough.

This thread is almost a year old, and ci's post was made on Fri Mar 04; he is not back.