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Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 625

02 Nov 2013, 10:25 pm

Cassandra is also a non-neutral figure to suggest as a named association for this supposed 'condition', in as much as her particular curse (laid on her by the gods) was that her prophecies were always right but no-one ever believed her. Suggests a slightly one-sided mechanism to my mind.


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Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1020
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

07 Nov 2013, 8:22 am

Is this an elaborate troll?

Embarrassed and ashamed to be an aspie because of one interview with one aspie?

I am 100% confident that both Tony Attwood and Ari Ne'eman would find such a position ludicrous.

All bent out of shape because of a five year old interview?

i assume that her group is very similar to FAAS
Why do you have to assume? Why don't you do some research and know? So your wife's group is advocating for a change in state law to mandate a presumption that an NT spouse is always the wronged party and that the word of an aspie must be discounted by judges in divorce court?
Maybe eagleeye should assume less and observe more? I wonder what his wife would say?

I find the last line of the op with it's emotional reaction to a purely hypothetical response here and then presumption of heroic martyrdom, really pathetic--And not in a benign way

I am about two years younger than eagleeye 41 and also recently diagnosed. I ran across the same AWA Radio podcast when I was trying to make sense out of this huge piece of self discovery by researching everything I could find on Aspergers in every medium where I could find it. I listened to every episode of that show and thought they were fantastic repositories of wisdom and experience. Listening to the women who ran the show and the women and men who were their guests I felt proud to be an aspie.

I am a fan of Tony Attwood. I like the way he thinks and explains himself. His books, talks and interviews were very helpful to me and my family. I think Ari Ne'eman is brilliant and has the mind of trial lawyer. I like support ASAN and the idea "nothing about us without us" --that said, I think the campaign to force Attwood to distance himself was stupid.
The interview was a train wreck (I have no problem with figures of speech.)

I must have listened to that interview four or five times. I came to the conclusion that Ari was demonstrating his ASD traits in an unfortunate way. I thought Tony was principled and compassionate in his measured response. The worst part of listening to Ari refusing to accept the very reasonable logic that Tony laid out for his limited association with FAAS was realizing that I share some of those traits with Ari.

I can be pigheaded--stubborn to a ridiculous degree. I can be fixed on certain details of the picture and miss the bigger whole. But that is part of this neurology, I believe, something we have to learn to live with, like gravity.

Could the hyperbolic reaction to this interview in the op be the result of a similar identification with the less attractive aspects of Ari that were on display?

The upshot of my long contemplation of that interview was that I support ASAN and am trying to be more considerate of my wife. I think the Cassandra thing is offensive. I am not robot like or unemotional. I am deeply passionate and expressive. I do have problems knowing what she is feeling and how I should respond, my approach is dialog, something which I'm sure is sometimes troubling when I ought to 'just know' what to do...

I almost hope the op was just a weird sort of trolling because it makes me sad to think of eagleye feeling shame because of this. I think if you try to empathize with all the players in this drama, you will ultimately be able to forgive Ari and yourself for your aspieness. Embarrassment and shame are not productive and carrying too much of them puts you at risk of becoming a judgmental pr*ck.


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Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,757
Location: pueblo colorado

15 Nov 2013, 6:41 pm

I can SO relate to the OPs' shame and devastation. Allow me to explain.

Recently, I met a man at GRASP group that I thought would get along well with my husband, so I invited this gentleman to lunch with us at an Indian restaurant. [I'll call the man Bill, because that is his name]

So, like many autists, I am not by nature exactly "stylin." This is alright though, because I keep "dress decently] outfits together, which comprise of slacks or a black skirt, a top, a nice fitted jacket, a pair of sharp boots, and a complementary piece of jewelry I designed and constructed.

Imagine my humiliation when Bill showed up at the restaurant in a loud, wild, Grateful Dead t-shirt. Oh, the pain, the pain. Boy howdy am I ashamed to be an aspie.

Through the pain of all of this, I have managed to unofficially "adopt" him as my new brother, and, only today, to yell 3 yee-haws when I found out that it looks like he and my friend, Coleen, seem to have hit it off.

I am so upset about his emberrasing t-shirt that I suspect that I will barely have the energy to squeeze my ancient , scarred, flabby body into a belly dance outfit for a show tonight.

Ya'll know I'm kidding, right?[ about the humiliation]