Mother who threw her son off bridge had it actually planned

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http://katu.com/news/local/da-mom-plann ... bay-bridge

I confess I did understand where the mother was coming from when this happened because my husband had a seizure and fell and hurt his back and he was on sick leave, we had a one year old son and I still had to work or else it's be in the streets and all this was very difficult for me to handle because of the huge change and I don't handle stress well or change (anyone would have difficulty with this major change but for me it's harder to handle it). I did think about suicide to end it all and kill my whole family and myself but the difference was I never executed the plan and I didn't know how I was going to do it anyway which is the reason why I will never own a gun. I am afraid I will hit hard times and then get the gun and kill everyone and then regret it because I was so suicidal at the time. But there is nothing hard about throwing a kid off a bridge. And if I remember correctly, her husband was also having problems so I could understand how that would add to the stress. But I wasn't looking up ways to kill my husband or my son or even reading about insanity defenses. It was because I didn't want to do it even though I felt that way.

But they say she faked her illness and symptoms and she even looked up Andrea Yates about her mental illness who was eventually hospitalized.

No excuse to kill one's family. If one is depressed, and wants to die, then one is free to go commit suicide without killing anyone else.

True insanity, such as psychosis, is a different story. People who are truly disconnected from reality may not truly understand what they have done or were doing at the time.

I think actual psychosis in these situations is rare, however. I think in some cases it's calculated murder for selfish reasons (like Casey Anthony) and in others it's for revenge against the other parent, and then some just mistakenly believe that their children will be better off dead than living without them.

This woman seems to just have wanted to be rid of her autistic son because he was a burden to her, like Casey Anthony was tired of being a mother and wanted to party. So she did the selfish, evil thing: she planned his murder. The most likely reason for this was because if she decided to give him up for adoption, it would make her look bad. But if she had a "mental break", then instead she expected that others would feel sorry for her, and she'd get sympathy.

I believe the reasons were the same for Casey Anthony's murdering her daughter. It looks bad to give a child up for adoption because one wants to be single and free. She didn't want to look bad, so it was better for her to murder her child and make it look like a kidnapping. So much simpler, and easier. She'd receive sympathy from her friends and relatives, and then have the perfect excuse to go be a party girl again with her new bf. Fortunately, everyone knows that she did it, even though she got away with it. Her story is b.s. and few actually buy it.

There was a woman who drowned two of her children because she felt resentful of having to care for them. She let the eldest live, because he was the only one she had actually wanted. Some upper-middle-class stay-at-home mom, religious, whose husband supposedly wanted the kids. She obviously couldn't say no to having more kids, because it would make her look bad. So instead, she had the children, and resented them, and tried at least twice before unsuccessfully, to murder then and make it look accidental.

The first time it was when the middle child was a baby. She "accidentally" left him in a hot car, but security was alerted and the boy saved. The second time, the two youngest were "accidentally" backed into by her SUV while she was driving. They suffered broken bones. Then she finally succeeded by drowning them in the bathtub while the eldest was in school. She tried to make it look like an accident, but failed, and was arrested.

Selfish, evil, people. They should be executed, in my opinion. It's not illness, it's selfishness, and lack of empathy and compassion for others.

What's key is to stay connected enough to reality to make some positive difference. I wish more parents today knew. When one's parents are no help, one is one & one must frequently work for all. I'm not a double agent, I'm professionally unemployed.

This person is at least going to pay a steep if not enough of a consequence for her cold blooded filicide.

I would probably be evil then and selfish if I ever ended up in any situation that was very difficult for me to handle so I go crazy. And I say crazy because it turns me into a different kind of person I never am because of all the anxiety and stress I am under and it can totally change my personality and me as a person which is why I have a hard time judging anyone who does this when there was stress in their life.

If our puppy wouldn't have died by slipping on some ice and getting hit by my mom's Saab, I might have eventually killed him because I had been thinking about drowning it for weeks and doing it when no one is home and I am not someone who kills animals and I would have just gotten rid of the pet if I could but instead no one else in my family wanted to get rid of him so I might have eventually killed him so it was a good thing when he died and I was back to myself again instead of this different person. Now my son wants a dog and I tell him no because I don't want to the responsibility of training it and it's hard enough having two children to take care of so a dog would be too much and I am too terrified of going through this again.

I have asked before if one can turn into a psychopath and then not be one anymore and they are only one in certain situations because of tremendous stress so it makes them be the person they never are. So treating me like a bad guy wouldn't even help me at all so that is why I have a hard time judging others who do this and I find the whole thing sad and tragic instead. I will assume others who judge harshly for all this have never been through what I have been through and even if they have, they have better coping skills than I do and better ability to deal with stress and all so they wouldn't even understand.

But the difference is the mother was faking her problems. I wasn't.

If you seriously consider killing others because you have a nervous breakdown, then you need to get help.

I've had many, many, many times where I've gotten horribly overwhelmed and in some cases had mental breakdowns. It never crossed my mind to harm anyone besides myself. If a person is having a problem, then only that person should have to suffer, instead of bringing misery onto others. I'd rather kill myself than kill an innocent person.

Since you thought that your unhappiness was more important than the wishes of your family and the life of the puppy, then yes, that means that you were selfish.

You don't think I was ever suicidal and even threatened it? You don't think I was ever in therapy? You don't think I was having a breakdown and having tremendous anxiety? You don't think I wanted to move out or even run away? Didn't I say I will never get a gun? I know my own limitations so I know to avoid situations I know that will cause the stress and that would change me as a person and I know to not have a gun or else I might just be impulsive and use it and then regret it. (call me selfish for that if you like because I think that is more important than someone else owning a gun in my home and I wouldn't even date someone if they owned a gun or felt they had to have one or even want to room mate with someone with it)My parents also had to keep my grandfather's gun locked away for precaution and my dad had to keep his insulin at his parents so I wouldn't use it to kill myself with it. You think I liked being this way? It was more than unhappiness. Also my family wasn't happy either with that puppy because my anxiety caused problems for the rest and my mom didn't like that dog either because of all the problems he caused even though it wasn't his fault and it was the wrong time to even get a dog in the first place because we had just moved house and I was already having anxiety so the dog made things worse. If you want to call someone selfish, it was my dad who was and my brothers for even keeping it and not caring what it was doing to me and my state of mind. My mom never wanted the dog either in the first place. Right now I know it's not the right time again to have another animal and I know my limitations. If you think that is selfish, then I can't even. Would you call someone with sensory issues selfish if the sounds a dog was making was causing them distress and affecting their functioning and they thought their own health was more important than their family or partner wishes of the dog?

And how do you not bring misery onto others? Meltdowns causes misery for others, OCD can also cause misery for others, anxiety too, and outbursts, and running away from home or even committing suicide causes misery for others. Only way to not bring misery onto others is to be alone and if there is no one in the same room as you and household because there is nothing to set you off or to trigger your episodes and to not kill yourself unless you have no friends or family. I have even posted a thread here in the GAD about my weird meltdowns and someone told me they were called rage episodes or whatever they are called. I had another one this weekend (as written in my blog here in my link) and I felt bad about it afterwards and felt like I should have tried harder and tried harder at holding it in and controlling it better and I just wanted to be alone because when I am alone, there is no one to trigger my outbursts and I am not screaming at everyone around me making them all miserable. Then when I calmed down, I was back to myself again and when my mother was understanding, I was better too because her being all mad at me about it was making it worse for me so I told her to leave me alone and she did. But she was upset herself so that was why she reacted the way she did and she was just making it worse but when she was over it, things were better between us and she didn't bring me back down to being upset all over again.

My whole point of posting this thread was about the mother was never having problems, she faked it all to get away with it and you might be right about she didn't want to care for her autistic child and she was just selfish than because she couldn't handle it so she went crazy and she found excuses to do it like using her husband as an excuse for example to gain sympathy and understanding and that sure worked because I thought she needed help and a hospital and I was wondering where was her help? At least I have my parents and my fear is when they are gone or get too old but I have my brother and he said he would look after me if anything happens so I am darn lucky.

And why is it that these school shooters get sympathy and these mothers do not? After all they did consider go and killing others. Why is it that autistic people get understanding and sympathy when they act out or bring misery on others or act aggressive but yet when I do it, I am evil and responsible for my actions? Just shows how we are no different than NTs about ignorance. Ugh the irony.

I think you're missing the point of my post. The point is that if you do have those feelings, it's important to immediately get help. And that the desire to hurt others because of one's own misery is a selfish desire. I never meant that you wanted to be that way.

I'd take myself out in a heartbeat if it meant protecting others. I also have a bad temper, so I'd never own a gun, as you said you wouldn't. I'd likely never use it, but I wouldn't take the chance that I'd let my anger get the best of me. Or perhaps let my temporary feelings of despair get the best of me and commit suicide.

Okay, I understand what you are saying I do agree with it because I don't like being the way I am when I go under that state of mind and I always feel bad afterwards. I even said in my OP I never wanted to do it but I felt that way.

I felt you were being dismissive of my feelings because it was more than unhappiness to a point it was causing me distress and impairments and affecting how I function and my personality. I am realizing my mom is right and I probably do have an adjustment disorder if it really does change me as a person because I can't handle stress well as others so I will try and avoid that stress so to call me selfish really hurt. And I say if you can't handle it, don't have it but what happens if it's beyond your control? I know there will always be things that will happen that will be beyond my control so I try and do my best to handle it and to deal with it.

For all those moms out there that feel like doing murder suicide should try and seek help, like tell social services (best interest of the child right so they would have to give the mom support to prevent it), call their family or whatever like I did and that is when my parents came and got our child so I would have less worries and less stress to deal with and so my husband can get better and me too. I also decided to not have anymore kids because of my anxiety and the fact because of our finances. Same reason for not owning a gun because of suicide and or the fact I could kill my family and then regret it and I have other fears too like forgetting to put it away or something and my kids get a hold of it or because I could get impulsive and accidentally kill someone thinking it was an intruder. The anxiety could get the worst of me. And the difference was I didn't go through with the plan.

I am sorry, I was not trying to dismiss your feelings. Sometimes (often) I don't do a very good job of communicating my intentions. Those people that I had mentioned were/are likely sociopaths who harmed their children out of convenience, not people with real mental illness.

I'm sorry that you have had these difficulties, and I wish that you didn't have to go through all of that.

Again, I do apologize for upsetting you, as it certainly wasn't my intention.