Debate about Autism(Arguing anecdotes over facts.)

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So recently I confronted a person on another forum over his views of autistic people. He made a heap of assertions such as autistic people are close minded, naturally can't control their desires and have selfish behaviors. I argued with him on that using personal experience. However a point he made was that his anecdotal evidence was just as valid as the one I am using. I argued against that for awhile but after that. But one thing that feel did not help me is that in regards to autism their is no facts to say that these stereotypes are wrong just anecdotal evidence which the other person can disapprove of.

Have any of you had a similar situation whereby you are unable to ultimately prove a point due to lack of research and should society get better at that in regards to autism so stereotypes can be disproved?

An argument where both sides are depending on anecdotal evidence is doomed to become a trollfest.

I think that all three of these charges come down to Theory of Mind. For me, I know I can miss the forest for some seemingly important detail. At the same time, if someone doesn't know what is causing these behaviours, they will attribute it to selfishness (instead of lack of knowledge.)

I would agree on the trollfest part.

Yeah maybe I am sidelining something important here, but I get really annoyed when people propose something bold about autism such as they lack empathy and they have only personal experience and anecdotes to back it up. I think its painting people with a broad brush and encouraging a negative perception of autistic people.

What do you feel about these kinds of assumptions that are often thrown?

Lack of control is an Executive Dysfunction, not TOM which at most might be an indirect factor.

So little is known about autism that it's not surprising that false information abounds.

I was talking more about perceived selfish behaviour and close mindedness, which I think are related to ToM.

My husband has had all three charges told to him by friends, co workers, relatives and bosses.

Closed minded-he is always in a near panic in a give and take conversation, so he isn't active listening to the other person. Throw in how he absolutely hates any change, it comes a crossed as closed minded. Even if the change is in his best interest.

Desires? I want what I want. That is rigidity against change, and if the issue gets pushed hard enough it goes to melt down mode. He also assumes that his desire are the exact same as everyone else. Sort of like he has a hard time believe someone would have a different point of view.

Selfishness? My husband's acts do come across as "selfish". When you have really bad general anxiety disorder, finding extra space in your head to worry about others spontaneously is hard.

He wouldn't say hello. He wouldn't ask people if he could help. He will not just do anything without being asked. He doesn't really share per say. "Would you like half of my sandwich?" Social niceties are lost on him, and the panic of "doing something wrong" override any thought of an interaction.

It's all Theory of the Mind issues and a heaping of rotten executive functioning skills. On the surface, looks like an inflexible, uncaring jerk that is only out for himself. So.not.true. But he can't where a t-shirt saying, "I have autism, excuse my off putting behaviors."

People judge harshly because they don't know my husband's issues, and most of the time selfish, uncaring jerks are not autistic. Their judgement defaults to the most common denominator.

Lack of control (I'm thinking melt down here), can stem from faulty ToM.

My husband wants to do X. The rest of the people don't want to really do x. He gets aggravated because doing x is really great. Everyone know it's great (people have different opinions on what is great), and now he thinks they are just being mean or screwing with him. The situation spirals until he hits a shut down (looks like a pouty ass who can't control himself) or a full bore meltdown (now everyone is evaluating do they even want to bother with him next time).

How I read lack of control would be the ASD kid melting down in a store (overwhelmed by sensory issues) or the person not being able to "read between the lines" and melting down.

I could see lack of control also being a executive functioning issue, but the average Joe would think lack of control as a "bratty kid" or "the fool that wouldn't listen to the cops and got a beat down."