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K_Kelly
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23 Dec 2016, 4:35 pm

Whenever I read these thread topics make Me LOL.

It's true that "ret*d" and the like have been turned into nasty slurs to describe someone or something as evil or stupid. But I don't want to act like the word police to my friends, either.

The spoiled brats will remain spoiled.



cyberdad
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25 Dec 2016, 3:36 am

K_Kelly wrote:
But I don't want to act like the word police to my friends, either.

The spoiled brats will remain spoiled.


I would socially avoid people who regularly use the "r word"



K_Kelly
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25 Dec 2016, 12:36 pm

Isn't that sometimes a little harsh? As long as they aren't using it every other word, just because someone uses a word doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad person.



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25 Dec 2016, 12:59 pm

But it's exactly the same as use of the word 'gay' to mean bad. If you identify with a particular label/phrase and hear it being used as an every day shorthand for being bad, then it is a reflection of the views of the society/group you are in. Minor changes in peoples language are not 'policing'.

People didn't just suddenly stop the widespread casual use of racial slurs without the help of people pointing out that the language was inappropriate over time.

If people are quick to tell me that I am being inappropriate, then they can expect the same from me.


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Kovu
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25 Dec 2016, 3:13 pm

I don't mind having Asperger and I make tons of jokes about being autistic. We live in a society full of fragile people where you have to apologize for pretty much everything and where everything is considered triggering. People need to grow up. I'm not even heterosexual and I use the word gay as synonymous of lame many times too.

Pretty much everything can be interpreted as offensive, or not, depending of the intentions and the context.



cyberdad
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25 Dec 2016, 6:44 pm

K_Kelly wrote:
Isn't that sometimes a little harsh? As long as they aren't using it every other word, just because someone uses a word doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad person.


It's always up to the individual to decide what they consider "normalised behavior"

I realise in younger people the social norm is to use words that have loaded (often negative) meaning for "other people" not in their own social circles.

The christian ethic applies - "do unto others that you would do to yourself"
If there are people who consider using the r-word a form of denigration or cruel type of bullying then it reflects how much you respect your fellow human beings
viewtopic.php?t=95402



Aspinator
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25 Dec 2016, 7:30 pm

To me it is a trigger word. It is the same as calling a female a bxxxx or a black person a nxxxxxx. The word cannot be used in a polite way and is meant as a derogatory term. I have been referred to a rxxxxx too many times and it is a word that shows distain and how the recipient is less of a human being and is not worthy of being part of the human race.



cyberdad
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25 Dec 2016, 10:28 pm

We live in a highly individualistic competitive society where the inability to compete automatically applies the label of "loser" and the level of speed one communicates might automatically apply the label "slow" and "loser" and finally the inability to function without help/assistance means the person is at risk of being labelled - "slow", "ret*d" and a "loser"...

These labels automatically trigger stigma which are carried by the general society and internalised by those who are victims of these slurs. Casual use of the r-word at best reflect ignorance of the hurt this word creates or at worst a lack of care or indeed (in many cases) pleasure at causing others pain...



Kiprobalhato
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26 Dec 2016, 11:20 am

cyberdad wrote:
I realise in younger people the social norm is to use words that have loaded (often negative) meaning for "other people" not in their own social circles.


of course...that's nowhere near exclusive to "younger people", as is observed.

to me, the impact of the word (and i have been called that before on several occasions) is lessened by assessing the equally pathetic status of those who dish it out.


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26 Dec 2016, 1:04 pm

I saw a 2008 documentary about the bar mitzvah of a boy with Down Syndrome. His dad says, "He's not stupid. He's ret*d. It's different; he's not stupid."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B14tlmbE4TE

If that was today, it would probably be something like, "He's not ret*d. He's intellectually disabled. It's different; he's not ret*d."

Things change fast.


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cyberdad
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26 Dec 2016, 6:43 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
of course...that's nowhere near exclusive to "younger people", as is observed.

True, there's plenty of oldies who abuse but it appears to have crept into common twitter/facebook vernacular in youngsters

Kiprobalhato wrote:
to me, the impact of the word (and i have been called that before on several occasions) is lessened by assessing the equally pathetic status of those who dish it out.

Yes it's revelation isn't it...unfortunately it's hard for many young people who often view those who dispense vile comments as "social peers"



Last edited by cyberdad on 26 Dec 2016, 8:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Aprilviolets
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26 Dec 2016, 8:35 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
i think "spastic" is the more likely replacement.


That word is a lot worse, I hate that word.



Aprilviolets
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26 Dec 2016, 8:37 pm

cyberdad wrote:
K_Kelly wrote:
But I don't want to act like the word police to my friends, either.

The spoiled brats will remain spoiled.


I would socially avoid people who regularly use the "r word"


I heard a check out person use that word one day and I said to her "Beg your pardon" she changed it then.



cyberdad
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26 Dec 2016, 8:52 pm

Aprilviolets wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
K_Kelly wrote:
But I don't want to act like the word police to my friends, either.

The spoiled brats will remain spoiled.


I would socially avoid people who regularly use the "r word"


I heard a check out person use that word one day and I said to her "Beg your pardon" she changed it then.


It will help educate her to refrain from using it in public :)



Aprilviolets
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26 Dec 2016, 8:56 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Aprilviolets wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
K_Kelly wrote:
But I don't want to act like the word police to my friends, either.

The spoiled brats will remain spoiled.


I would socially avoid people who regularly use the "r word"


I heard a check out person use that word one day and I said to her "Beg your pardon" she changed it then.


It will help educate her to refrain from using it in public :)


Yes I think I might have embarrassed her anyway.



Kiprobalhato
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27 Dec 2016, 1:29 am

it's normal to be taken aback when you're called out on something you don't even realize.


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