Why Autism acceptance matters

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07 Nov 2019, 4:38 am

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Rachel Marie Wilson is an actor, singer/songwriter (under the name Riza Valentine), and blogger. Read her blog at rizavalentine.com and follow her on Instagram @riza_valentine.

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When I first heard of Greta Thunberg, I had no idea she had Asperger’s (otherwise known as mild autism spectrum disorder). All I knew was that she was a young climate change activist who recently made a speech in front of the United Nations.

Then a commentator on a major news outlet referred to her as “mentally ill.” It was then that I learned she had Asperger’s. And it only got worse from there.

I read comments where people called her a brat and said that she “wasn’t all there.” I was heartbroken and had to fight back tears because I, too, have Asperger’s.

Autism isn’t a disease or an illness; it’s simply a condition that allows others to see the world differently.

I was diagnosed on the autism spectrum at the age of three. Throughout my childhood, I was in social skills groups, had a therapist as a teenager, and was in an autism support program in college. Even though my symptoms have diminished over time, I still have social anxiety, can be unsure of social situations, and sometimes find it difficult to make friends.

I once viewed having Asperger’s as a curse and feared I would be ostracized if people knew I had it. I later learned it was a blessing because I could see the world in a way that no one else could. One gift I have in having Asperger’s is the gift of imagination. As an actor, it helps me tell the story of a character more effectively. It also helps me when I write stories, screenplays, or songs. I love being creative, so I am always thankful for the gift of imagination.

More than ever, we have to educate people from the youngest age possible about acceptance of those on the autism spectrum. The only way we can become a more compassionate society is if we are a more educated society. So, I have a few points to make.

First, don’t underestimate someone on the autism spectrum because you never know what you could learn from them. Those on the autism spectrum have several unique gifts to share with society. For example, I am good at picking up foreign languages, such as Spanish. In fact, it’s one of my majors from The University of Alabama. Because the spectrum is so varied, everyone will have different gifts. Some are good at math and science. Others are good at art. Some even have very good memory. Some are good at problem-solving. Some could be wonderful writers. If you know someone on the autism spectrum who has an amazing talent, give them the support to help them build on it.

Secondly, just because my brain works differently than others does not mean I am not capable of being a leader or achieving goals. I have acted in a few short films, recorded a song I wrote (and plan to record more), currently have a blog, and am part of the Leadership Institute through the Junior League of Birmingham. I don’t let having Asperger’s define my ability in what I can accomplish. Neither should you.

Also, please be mindful of the things you say. It makes me cringe whenever I hear something like, “You don’t appear to have Asperger’s.” When you say something like this, though well-meaning, you are invalidating a person’s diagnosis.

Lastly, our society needs to find ways to be more neurodiverse and inclusive. Thankfully, there are organizations like KultureCity, which helps places become more inclusive and sensory-friendly. We are better than we were 50 years ago, but we still have a long way to go. Employers need to rethink the job interview process to be more inclusive of potential employees on the spectrum. There should be more resources, such as grants and workshops, readily available to those on the spectrum who want to open a business or have other goals in mind. Parents should encourage their children to make friends with those on the spectrum

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carlos55
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08 Nov 2019, 3:53 pm

As mentioned previously context is everything with the word “acceptance”. What are we supposed to “accept”?

If its respecting all people as valued human beings with rights that should be given equal opportunities in society & the workplace without discrimination. That we shouldn’t be mean to one another then great count me in.

The problem is we have a minority of high functioning people in the community and some well-meaning but ignorant NT`s, who want to whitewash our suffering as some kind of social dysfunction or shyness, that can be easily fixed with a few societal tweaks here and there.

They wish to impose their no cure no treatment demands on all of us regardless of how we feel about it, because it suits their ego and they have an unwarranted fear of the medical community.

Maybe they visualise a Halloween doctor on their doorstep during a stormy night with a big syringe ready to inject them with a cure against their will maybe?

Like I say I respect their personal wishes not to be treated if an effective treatment is ever found, but they don’t have the right to speak for me against my wishes or limit my, or others worse off potential future treatments.

They know their demands generally fail the common sense test of public opinion, so they use political correctness terms of comparing themselves to LGBT & race relations to advance their cause.

That’s why I remain very suspicious of the whole "acceptance" thing.

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Edna3362
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08 Nov 2019, 6:46 pm

carlos55 wrote:

The main purpose of acceptance is a form of realization, attainable by individual and collective means. This is something that goes beyond tolerance and it is a concept closer to understanding.
One that paves and drives a person to grow in all aspects of life, the very one that grants understanding in both ways. It's the very essence that drives social progression.
And it is not an exclusive thing, it is an essential thing inherent to human wellbeing.

Not some twisted form of ego defence mechanism that is driven by an overvalued aspect. :lol:

Many fell into a one-sided aspect, many of which in forms of denial both overt and covert. If you like calling out on a so-called 'dark side' of acceptance, try recognizing yours for once. What drives you to nonacceptance? :twisted:

No surprises if it's an the idea of norm and their own idea what makes a life worth, which is very common.

But sure. Study the whole side of skeptism while you can, hopefully you'd find an angle that's outside the usual 'neurodiversity is a cult/high functioning exclusive' rant.

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carlos55
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09 Nov 2019, 10:12 am

edna3362 wrote:

Not being rude but i struggle to understand what you mean here? Is it the truth will set you free? Or accept your reality? if so fine no problems with that.

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What drives you to nonacceptance?

If you mean do i accept autism as a natural difference like some?then no, its proven scientifically to be a neuronal migration disorder. One that leads to the malformation of the cortex so messages dont pass through the mini columns like they should causing the problems associated with autism. The only thing in doubt is the genetic / environmental causes of it. But a disorder it is, hence the name ASD, "D" for "disorder".

That distinction is important.

Do i accept autism is a good thing then no i dont

Do i accept Autism destroys lives then yes it does.

Does humanity accept something that destroys lives without doing something to prevent, research treat and cure then the moral answer is no it does not. Like all the other medical disorders out there.

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09 Nov 2019, 3:50 pm

carlos55 wrote:

edna3362 wrote:

Not being rude but i struggle to understand what you mean here? Is it the truth will set you free? Or accept your reality? if so fine no problems with that.

In essence, yes. And it's a process.

Intellectually, it's easy as understanding grammar.
But in practice, it's harder than that.
Because most people clings on certain set of beliefs and how people sees reality whether they're aware of it or not. Anything that threatens that seeks reaffirmation and answers, bend words and contexts. Most people sees 'info' for an 'ammo' and 'supply'.

You're not that different from the 'don't touch my autism band'. :lol:

Yours is 'don't ruin my idea of a good life', 'don't ruin years of maintained social norms I grew up with'.
Well, both do 'just wanna be more comfortable', 'just wanna worry less', etc.

This is natural, because this is how the human mind works.

And the main reason why people struggles to understand acceptance is the human mind's idea of what is.

I think, in your case, you probably live in a 'normal life', and is not really that threatened at large until recently.
Maybe you didn't have to let things go, maybe you can afford to be rigid in some sense, maybe you don't have to question yourself. It's highly likely got used to it and so you want that still.
Maybe your idea outside that threatens that, maybe it scares you, it tells you to give a coated remark (tragic/shameful/etc.).. So you seek answers, you fight, you tolerate... Because it's the best you thought you do for, you think it's logical and think it's the right thing to do.

It may not even conscious, just like most people have. It's circumstantial.

Also because you either don't remember any realizations in life, too currently focused on 'autism' or one aspect, or never experienced it at all.

carlos55 wrote:

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What drives you to nonacceptance?

Like the detailed answers.
Based on your answers, you got a lot to explore. You got a lot to let go and understand. You got a lot to consider.
Just like most people because they're too busy.

But that's just my opinion based on my experience.
Your own comes down to yourself, if you choose to step out from your own ideas and question what you thought is right.
Or stick what you thought is right, and simply stick with what you know and believe.

There's no 'wrong' choices here. Not really, in life at large.

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cyberdad
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09 Nov 2019, 7:39 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:

Al.com
Rachel Marie Wilson is an actor, singer/songwriter (under the name Riza Valentine), and blogger. Read her blog at rizavalentine.com and follow her on Instagram @riza_valentine.

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It's a great pity that Rachel Wilson doesn't quite understand that Greta Thunberg is focused on the issue of climate change and the future of life on earth and not on the side-show that's been created about Greta herself and her autism.

Greta is an example of acceptance but not quite what Wilson thinks. Greta accepts she has challenges but has put these aside to tackle an issue she is more passionate about. This is the type of acceptance that is more universal to everybody (not just people with autism) at a a very young age Greta has developed the wisdom to understand.

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09 Nov 2019, 10:38 pm

carlos55 wrote:

I agree with you! Asperger's is not a blessing. Just because a few people with Asperger's achieved some notoriety does not mean that the rest of us have not suffered for being Aspie.

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10 Nov 2019, 7:43 am

Edna3362: just to clarify my point there are 3 types of acceptance, individual, sociatal and humanity.

Individual : in the abscence of effective treatment / cure individuals have to accept their autism as they have no choice

Sociatal : as above in the abscence of a cure society has to be more accomodating to autistic people because its the decent right thing to do, although it continues therapies / education that work to reduce negative outcomes because it recognises autism is a bad thing to happen to a child.

Humanity : Recognises that autism is a pathology and in the vast majority of cases its presence is negative or extreamly bad for the individual concerned and also bad for society and all concerned too. So it continues its efforts to combat autism through prevention, treatment and cure whether that happens in 5 years or 500 years because its morally the right thing to do.

I have no problem with individual and sociatal acceptance, but some want to push for humanity acceptance which is wrong. They do this by gaslighting the public, with natural difference claims and by whitewashing autism. They hope to further their agenda via political correctness terms, which doesnt fit or make sense when it comes to disabilities.

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10 Nov 2019, 10:56 am

carlos55 wrote:

Thanks for the details. :lol:

But mostly old news to me, and it only made it clearer that you got a lot to go.

Especially of the so-called agendas and the good/bad stuff. Everyone has a dream to realize after all.
Is this only your answer and sticking with it, or if there's something else beyond the current one?

Humanity had yet to learn it's own lessons -- that's why there's oppositions, why there are 'sides resisting'.

Acceptance is an internal thing no matter the scale; it goes beyond the variables of winning and losing, it goes beyond circumstances and 'obligations'. The human mind's focus is circumstances (a bad thing) and obligations (right thing to do).
The name and the idea of acceptance is but an arrow post, not some propaganda tool with promises that says 'if you do this, that will happen'. People at large don't understand this because they are too busy with something else.

And from what history says a lot... :twisted:

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carlos55
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10 Nov 2019, 3:43 pm

edna3362 wrote:

Thanks for the details. But mostly old news to me, and it only made it clearer that you got a lot to go.

Especially of the so-called agendas and the good/bad stuff. Everyone has a dream to realize after all.
Is this only your answer and sticking with it, or if there's something else beyond the current one?

Humanity had yet to learn it's own lessons -- that's why there's oppositions, why there are 'sides resisting'.

Acceptance is an internal thing no matter the scale; it goes beyond the variables of winning and losing, it goes beyond circumstances and 'obligations'. The human mind's focus is circumstances (a bad thing) and obligations (right thing to do).
The name and the idea of acceptance is but an arrow post, not some propaganda tool with promises that says 'if you do this, that will happen'. People at large don't understand this because they are too busy with something else.

And from what history says a lot...

Not fully sure what your rather cryptic comments mean. If all that acceptance works for you great. As mentioned im accepting of ASD when it comes to individual & societal.

I’m in my 4th decade of Asperger’s and came to the conclusion at a young age that having it was rubbish, that’s still my view today surveying the debris of missed relationships and lost opportunities. But I was lucky and still had a rather full life, many others don’t.

A 20-year-old in full time residential care is a diabolically bad situation, so is having epileptic fits regularly and being bossed about by your parents at an advanced age. A 5000-word trippy psychedelic essay on its deeper meaning is not necessary to explain that.

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11 Nov 2019, 1:21 am

That's isn't unique and I've been there. :lol:

In my own case, I started off a denier fill with self-hatred. But I'm also one of those who would sink faster than end up swimming.
Then I went to acceptance. Then find out this is not acceptance, this is a coping mechanism that involves blame.
Then went up to another level of acceptance, then went with doubt and guilt. Only to realize where it came from -- it's mostly about not able to get over from circumstances.
I've been in a point that there's nothing to deny nor accept. I've been in an unconditional state myself.

But regardless, one thing I've realized is that comparing circumstances are pointless.
There are already countless debates about it, and countless contests who has it worse/better.
Seeing it through the eyes of past failures and success, seeing it through the lens of pride and shame -- it is no different.

As for why acceptance matters -- it is a stepping stone.
People think it's an end goal, it isn't. Think of it as an ingredient of sorts, yet not an ingredient anyone would carelessly put into.

Acceptance is not a 'side' just like how the name itself is represented as.

Acceptance is not a 'practice' nor the expression itself either, it's a 'stage' to explore until someone finds certain points.
There are countless forms of expressions, that may do include a universally agreed cure as a support -- exactly why I never disagreed with you.

Before someone gets the wrong idea... The point of my posts is not to convince you or anyone.
The point of my posts is what acceptance is, what most people thought it means and what is not.

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Edna3362
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12 Nov 2019, 9:52 am

As to why comparing circumstances is pointless;
A person does not need a label, a condition, nor circumstance to ever be a dead weight, have a crappy life and made people lives harder. :lol:
And a person does not need to be 'special' (or 'normal), 'blessed' nor 'favored by fate' to ever be successful, reliable and happy.

As for aggressive 24/7 care and that adult child? You don't need autism or neurodiversity for that.

But do think of this;
Perpetuating autism in any single frame won't do. Perpetuating autism in certain side of portrayal will never do.
An individual in general who personally perpetuates one angle would only likely see that angle for various reasons.

Acceptance is supposed to expand, as do doubt.
But to be stuck on one point of acceptance or certain points of doubt does not lead to forms of realization and move on.
And a group of 'stuck' people ends up with an echo chamber, them being caught up together in 'harmony' -- until someone gets 'sick' and 'rebel' into disharmony. :twisted:

To say acceptance is something to be suspicious of, is no different from telling that doubt is something to be suspicious of.

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Mona Pereth
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22 Nov 2019, 12:33 pm

carlos55 wrote:

The problem is we have a minority of high functioning people in the community and some well-meaning but ignorant NT`s, who want to whitewash our suffering as some kind of social dysfunction or shyness, that can be easily fixed with a few societal tweaks here and there.

I challenge you to find and quote even a single one neurodiversity paradigm advocate who has ever claimed that autism is just "some kind of social dysfunction or shyness." The kinds of accommodations typically sought also involve other things such as sensory issues.

Also, most autistic rights activists (most of whom are both neurodiversity paradigm advocates and disability rights activists) advocate that there be much more research into better ways to educate autistic children, including better ways to help nonverbal children learn to communicate. (See A call to scientists to develop communication tools for autism by Shannon Des Roches Rosa, Spectrum News, 20 December 2016.)

Personally, I favor a complete overhaul of the educational system in ways that would benefit many NT kids, and kids with various learning disabilities, as well as many autistic kids. Today, in the computer age, it should no longer be necessary to subject little kids to traditional classrooms, with their factory-like regimentation. With the right educational software, it should be possible to have highly individualized curricula, delivered in ways that naturally capture kids' attention.

carlos55 wrote:

They wish to impose their no cure no treatment demands on all of us regardless of how we feel about it, because it suits their ego and they have an unwarranted fear of the medical community.

As far as I can tell, the vast majority of neurodiversity paradigm advocates don't advocate for "no treatments" at all, and the few who do take that position (such as Jason Lu) are usually people advocating specific educational methodologies that they believe will render any and all treatments unnecessary. In my opinion, the educational methodologies advocated by people like Jason Lu should be taken seriously, as possible improvements over the status quo, by educational psychologists. I suspect that these methodologies could probably benefit a lot of autistic children, although I also suspect that their advocates may be over-generalizing.

carlos55 wrote:

Maybe they visualise a Halloween doctor on their doorstep during a stormy night with a big syringe ready to inject them with a cure against their will maybe?

No, more like a year-round (not confined to Halloween, alas) medical insurance company (or government medical insurance system) that might, for example, refuse to pay for anything else unless a radical total autism "cure" is tried first. This is not an unreasonable fear. Over the past several decades, insurance companies have come to dictate, more and more, what doctors can and can't do if they want to be reimbursed.

carlos55 wrote:

Like I say I respect their personal wishes not to be treated if an effective treatment is ever found, but they don’t have the right to speak for me against my wishes or limit my, or others worse off potential future treatments.

Among other issues we have with the idea of a purported total autism "cure," we believe that any such "cure" is likely to have unacceptably bad side-effects, due to the radical brain re-wiring that would be required. Therefore, other, less radical ways to improve our lives should be given priority in research.

Research funding is not and cannot be unlimited. If the bulk of autism research funding is being spent on the search for a total "cure," then it's NOT being spent on other, less radical approaches that would be likely to improve many autistic people's lives much sooner, e.g. better ways to treat various co-occurring conditions in an autism-aware way, or better ways help nonverbal autistic people communicate.

(See also What the Neurodiversity Movement Does—And Doesn't—Offer by Emily Paige Ballou, Tuesday, February 6, 2018.)

carlos55 wrote:

They know their demands generally fail the common sense test of public opinion, so they use political correctness terms of comparing themselves to LGBT & race relations to advance their cause.

There are plenty of historical parallels to the situation of LGBT people, including even similarities of treatment back in the days when homosexuality and gender nonconformity were considered pathological. (See Disturbing Behaviors: Ole Ivar Lovaas and the Queer History of Autism by Margaret F. Gibson and Patty Douglas.) You've just inadvertently pointed to another parallel: Until recently, it was commonly-accepted "public opinion," and considered to be "common sense," that both homosexuality and gender nonconformity were things that should be eradicated.

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23 Nov 2019, 6:08 pm

Mona wrote:

It wasn’t a literal quote but the general narrative of many in ND, by whitewashing autism, by ignoring others worse off and using inappropriate language of “celebrating” a serious life limiting disorder. This has been mentioned numerous times elsewhere by others & this opinion is well documented so doesn’t need another introduction. If you want another recent anti ND detailed opinion from someone with autism you can find it here: -

https://hiveofluminosity.blogspot.com/2 ... ement.html

mona wrote:

Personally, I favor a complete overhaul of the educational system in ways that would benefit many NT kids, and kids with various learning disabilities, as well as many autistic kids. Today, in the computer age, it should no longer be necessary to subject little kids to traditional classrooms, with their factory-like regimentation. With the right educational software, it should be possible to have highly individualized curricula, delivered in ways that naturally capture kids' attention.

Yes, we all want that, but that’s not the point. Many ND anti cure / treatment advocates wrapping themselves in disability rights or sweet words of “acceptance” doesn’t take away the fact that they campaign for anti-cure / treatments that may in the future help others worse off and they usually use fake science to back up their natural difference opinion. A wolf is still a wolf when dressed up as a sheep.

mona wrote:

All straw man arguments and scaremongering, representatives of other serious medical disorders rarely if ever use such an argument to prevent treatment for their condition, they have the right to be skeptical and question new treatments but that's not the same. Anyway, autism effects millions around the world nearly all not under US healthcare, many not under any social security protection or free healthcare.

mona wrote:

Research funding is not and cannot be unlimited. If the bulk of autism research funding is being spent on the search for a total "cure," then it's NOT being spent on other, less radical approaches that would be likely to improve many autistic people's lives much sooner, e.g. better ways to treat various co-occurring conditions in an autism-aware way, or better ways help nonverbal autistic people communicate.

Research funding is done by medical establishments I believe I stated before on another thread Ford Motor Co don’t build or run special schools just as a neurology research institution doesn’t do anything else but research the brain and find treatments for brain disorders. Same for the neurology lab at GlaxoSmithKline plc ( a private business).

mona wrote:

A gay / trans / non-white person is a fully functioning adult who can work, support himself, travel, enjoy life and go and do what he likes in a way somebody seriously impaired by a brain disorder cannot. There is no comparison, most of the public I believe can see the common sense in that.

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