Internet Backs Woman - Allowed Her Child to Curse at woman
I'm wondering - genuinely wondering, as a non-American and not even a native English speaker:
Is "you stupid b***h" fundamentally worse from e.g. gender neutral "you dumb f**k"?
To me, offensiveness of the two feels roughly equal.
Calling women b*****s or c***s is demeaning and misogynistic. I assume any man that uses it on women are misogynistic. I judge them.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Sometimes being assertive or even borderline aggressive at nosy Karens is completely justified.
And being racist towards black Karens or using the R word towards disabled Karens is justified.
Sarcasm here in case anyone didn't know.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Going PPR here if the boy called the nag the N-Word the reaction would have exact opposite. That tells me misogyny is an acceptable prejudice.
Was I saying something about acceptable prejudice?
Rhetorical question, why is “systematic misogyny” a rare expression?
Sadly misogyny is still normalized and it's around us as well, even women have it too. That is why we have feminism now fighting against it. Misogynists will find an apprortunity to be violent towards women and to call them a b***h and stuff.
That is why its concerning for that kid. If he will grow up to be violent or prejudice towards women and think negative of them. And the mom sucks too for being an enabler. But I guess she has internalized misogyny too.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Why is b***h misogynistic, but Karen is okay??
Also, I work with women every day who generalize about men and that's acceptable. Or the phrases toxic masculinity and male entitlement...there are toxic and entitled people. No need to make them sex-specific, when it's the behaviors which are the problem. I don't see why women being unfair to men is acceptable, but b***h is crossing a line.
If it were a grown man judging a young girl's use of technology, and the girl called him a cock, what would you all say?
I'm wondering - genuinely wondering, as a non-American and not even a native English speaker:
Is "you stupid b***h" fundamentally worse from e.g. gender neutral "you dumb f**k"?
To me, offensiveness of the two feels roughly equal.
I mean, I find it weird that some find it okay to be intentionally offensive in some ways but not in other ways.
In the place of the mother (provided I didn't get a meltdown myself...), I'd just tell my son to watch his language and the old lady to leave my kids alone. I've dealt with grownups not recognizing that children have boundaries a lot, both as a child and as a mother. Some of these experiences - I only now recognize how traumatic they have been. It can be super serious and given the autistic boy was entering a meltdown, it was in this case.
The older boy was rude and should have been called out for it but he was defending his distressed brother and this definitely should have been recognized.
_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
Also, I work with women every day who generalize about men and that's acceptable. Or the phrases toxic masculinity and male entitlement...there are toxic and entitled people. No need to make them sex-specific, when it's the behaviors which are the problem. I don't see why women being unfair to men is acceptable, but b***h is crossing a line.
If it were a grown man judging a young girl's use of technology, and the girl called him a cock, what would you all say?
I don't think demeaning names for men is okay either. Just call them an as*hole or a jerk or an idiot if you want to insult them when they are being naughty. If slurs are the first thing you think of to put someone down, well that tells more about you as a person.
And we do call men Karens, we call them a male Karen.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Last edited by League_Girl on 14 Jan 2022, 1:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You can defend your sibling without being misogynstic just like you can stand up to a bully without being racist or ableist if they are a person of color or disabled.
But so many people think racism is justified when the person of color is a jerk ort something or think it's okay to be transphobic when the trans gender person is bad or think misogyny is okay when the woman is entitled or not minding her own business.
Sad world we live in.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
So, do you think if he used "you dumb f**k", then it would have been okay because it does not refer to her gender?
It might be a cultural difference - but to me, being offensive is being offensive, gender-specific or gender-neutral does not change much at this point.
_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
It might be a cultural difference - but to me, being offensive is being offensive, gender-specific or gender-neutral does not change much at this point.
The fact the mom wanted to think she was an as*hole or not for allowed her son to curse at a woman, I thought she meant like f**k or crap or s**t or damn but instead she meant if she was an as*hole for allowing her son to use gender slurs so the title was misleading. It was disturbing that so many comments thought being a misogynist is justified but I bet if he had said the N word like "You stupid f*****g N***, he is autistic" if the woman were black, everyone would be calling the mom the as*hole no doubt so misogyny is still normalized in the US.
I find this thread disturbing too so this will be my last comment and I won't be back to this thread again.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
ASPartOfMe
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It’s acceptable but not ok. And Karen is often racist also.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
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Well if I had witnessed that I think I for sure would have sided with the kid. The language he used may be a bit inappropriate, but I think it was even more inappropriate for that old woman to try and harrass an 8 year for using an Ipad.
If she didn't want to get cursed at maybe she shouldn't have been behaving like a bully.
_________________
We won't go back.
I side with the kid in terms of defending his sibling, but not with the language he used.
As others have indicated, if the mother does not pull him up for that kind of language, she's an enabler.
Correcting the kid on his language is not the same as siding with the pestering woman and against him.
If she didn't want to get cursed at maybe she shouldn't have been behaving like a bully.
Yeah, exactly.
My $0.02, both the lady and the kid were wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. Lady was frustrated and voiced her frustration instead of thinking. The kid reaction was wrong, how would the lady know his brother was autistic? Both voiced their frustrations. TBH, any reasonable mind would be frustrated in each situation, well except for people with remarkable empathy. Now throw the kids age into the equation, in a perfect world, he should show proper manners and allowed the parent to address the woman's snark. The parent should explain the kids mistake to him and teach him to be more accepting of other people faults as nobody will understand autism meltdowns. Just guessing, the lady could have changed lanes while taking a deep breath, or asked it she could assist, or start counting to ten before snarking.
My theory is this, same as a dog can feel our anxiety, even us with low empathy have a instinctual rise in anxiety around autistic meltdowns. These meltdowns are intense to us but also cause others to mirror. The lady may not have known the reason for the increased mirror anxiety on top of her own issues and became more frustrated.
As far as the let's change the world normalization, why is it reasonable for 99.08% percent of the population required to change to accommodate the 0.02%? More awareness will help some but expecting wholesale changes is unobtainable.
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