The Spectrum and "Mansplaining" ??

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Anyone on the spectrum experience being called a 'Mansplainer' simply for taking a factual position in a discussion? I think some people who don't understand non-neurotypical thinking like to use the term to bash people who speak in long sentences or try to add nuance to a discussion. Happened to me today (again). I was simply trying to speak to the issues, but got hammered with the label that seems to be this decade's version of "Male Chauvinist Pig." But it had nothing to do with me being sexist in any way.

Maybe the secret is just to agree with people when they are wrong.

Last edited by MonotoneGenius on 23 Mar 2022, 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes:

• When I have proven wrong the bogus claims of at least one woman involved in a discussion.

• When I have linked to articles giving detailed and complete answers to at least one woman's questions in a common thread.

• When I have said, "In my opinion . . .", only to be immediately cut off by a woman who then explicitly stated she did not want to hear anything a man might ever have to say in regards to the topic of a conversation.

Well, actually . . .

I can see how that can be frustrating if you're just trying to share information. There's definitely a disconnect between neurodivergent and neurotypical people when it comes to information exchange. It could just be coming across wrong.
I've been "mansplained" to plenty of times and it feels sh***y. Particularly because I look younger than I am and tend to flounder if pressure is added to in person conversations, even if I'm knowledgeable about the topic. It's frustrating to be talked down to and often the difference between debate and mansplaining is just listening.

I am sorry for that.

The most funny "mansplaining" accusation I ever received was in the Navy, and from a woman who outranked me.  She was about to do something that would damage some satcom equipment, I tried to warn her about it, but she went ahead anyway.  There was a sudden spark, some smoke, and our primary satcom radio went dark.  I logged it as "Operator Error", noting the time, the people and equipment involved, and the events that led up to the incident.  The woman tried to blame me for "distracting" her, but the other people (and the logbook) backed up my story.  The Captain was not happy with her at all . . .

Sounds like she was an a**hole. You don't throw an someone under the bus for your mistake regardless of gender

The term "mansplaining" refers to men to talk down to women even on topics that the woman knows more about.

Without knowing the specifics of what you said and in what context, I'm in no position to evaluate an accusation of "mansplaining."


I hope you don't have to do that, but there are better and worse ways to tell people they are wrong about something.

You might find the following article helpful: How to Tell Someone They Are Wrong by Maya Diamond, MA, WikiHow, Last Updated: July 31, 2020.

I tend to offer facts, but have never been accused of mansplaining cause I am a woman.
Instead I get called a "Know it all" , and called other names instead.
I thought I was just sharing information. You are not alone!

My wife always accuses me of "playing devil's advocate" when I try to give her alternate explanations for something (not exactly mansplaining but similar). One of many reasons why my wife will probably become my ex-wife.

I'm a woman so mansplaining is one thing I've never been accused of. Although I do love explaining things.

I've seen posts of real mansplenations, such as telling a woman all about what he "knows" about periods, and another by a very definition of an incel who said "foids" have periods because we're evil. He sounded like a candidate for the next mass shooting. Also calling women "foids", which is short for "femoids" which is short for "female humanoids". What's next, are they just going to call us "ids"?

When a woman on WP posts issues she has in Woman's Discussion that only other women can truly understand, and there about 10 replies from male WP members about why she and other women are wrong, that's mansplaining.

Oh, god no--if there's lipstick on it, then they NEED to take it back! The difference between you and a "Karen" (if I'd have had a sister, her name would have been Karen, btw) is keeping things in perspective. Since you're not catastrophizing, you're fine. Anyone who has a problem with than can get stuffed, because some people will complain about any woman who speaks up.

I've actually had to tell my husband--one of the most humble and reasonable people on the planet--that he was mansplaining to me a few times because he was telling me such blatantly self-evident things, akin to "anchors don't float." We've been together since 1988 and I could not believe that he took me for someone so incredibly dumb. It was amazingly infuriating--I almost wanted to throw something! The next time he does it, I think I'll write his words down so he can read them with his own eyes, and perhaps understand exactly what he's doing (and shed some light for me!!). It's just not like him at all.

BINGO!!

I've never been "mansplained" to in my life (I am female), as far as I can tell. I have certainly encountered idiots (of both sexes) who've told me wrong things, but they aren't making assumptions about me: they're just really dumb.

The only person I know who actually 'splains things to me is my mom, who is really rude sometimes and thinks I'm an idiot, but my mom is hardly a societal-wide problem.

So I am very skeptical of people who claim men mansplain to them frequently, because as far as I can tell it's not a real phenomenon.

Rather, I think most claims that someone mansplained come from the intersection of politics (people looking for something to get offended about) and someone getting upset because they said something wrong and people corrected them. The correct thing to do in that situation is to politely thank the other person, but often when people get upset, they try to find a way to blame the other person for their bad feelings, like a child lashing out and kicking a chair because he tripped on it.

If you happen to be both a man and smarter than most people, then you will naturally run into situations where other people are doing something wrong (or understanding incorrectly) and also women, at which point you run the risk of being accused of "mansplaining" if you dare to say anything.

As far as I'm aware, I speak the same way to women and men. That includes the errors I sometimes make like unintentionally cutting someone off of getting loud when I'm excited about a topic. And sometimes women assume I'm behaving that way because I'm mansplaining. In fairness, such women may be used to men cutting them off for sexist reasons, and don't understand the difference when talking to someone they don't know is autistic.