AnAlias
Veteran
Joined: 9 Jul 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 626
Location: The east coast (north side)
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=104242711
This is a book written by a man with an autistic brother, about how much it sucked to have an autistic brother. How his brother got all the attention and he never had a chance to do any of the stuff normal kids do because of that. I have no sympathy for this person whatsoever. He doesn't even seem to think of his brother as a human being, only as an encumbrance to his own life.
His entire book is basically an exercise in self-pity, so this is a rather spurious argument.
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There will one day be lemon soaked paper napkins.
Oh no, the bunny river
Now wait a minute. The OP is way off base here.
The fact of the matter is, our siblings probably did not get the attention they needed. They did not get to do things that regular children did. Many of them will also find that they will have to care for their sibling once their parents are gone.
Simply put, the author has brought out another side of the autism story and we should be glad he has. The only way there will be change is if everyone gets to tell their story.
I don't know.
Severe autism IMO is totally different than aspergers or high functioning autism. I've worked with a couple severely autistic patients (I'm a nurse) and while I liked them, I certainly wouldn't want to live with them. It's no cakewalk. Maybe this guy felt he needed to tell his side of the story. I don't believe that ANY disabled child should be awarded the majority of the attention by parents strictly b/c they are disabled for this very reason.
One of my friends got virtually no attention, no cool presents, etc., because her sister was deaf. One of my cousins got way too much attention from the grandparents to the point that it was actually harmful (they spoiled her) because she had a serious surgery in infancy. My son has gotten a boatload of attention to the detriment of other family members by my parents because he's chronically ill. It's the nature of the situation- those who need more attention get more attention. True, this person sounds like he's angry at his brother, which is directing the anger in the wrong way, but anger is a part of grieving. I'm sure he's grieving the loss of attention and a "normal" childhood. Maybe this will be his catharsis and he'll start seeing his blessings later with more maturity?
http://permautism.blogspot.com/
Katie_WPG
Velociraptor
Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 492
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
I can't say I really relate to the "siblings of ASD children get neglected" thing.
My older sister typically got more attention (more negative attention as well) because of her mental health problems.
Then again, I didn't mind. I prefered to do things on my own anyways. If you gave me some tinker toys, cds, a pool table I could run around while listening to said cds, and books about science and geography, I was a happy camper.
The problem may be that NT children aren't as good at self-entertaining as ASD kids are. In reality, the NT kid might need more attention than the ASD kid (provided it was mild enough), but the parent just assumes that the ASD kid needs more attention.
Sometimes, that approach can lead to disaster, as the ASD kid might feel smothered. In higher-functioning ones, it leads to resentment of the parent (and possibly also higher levels of dependance). In lower-functioning ones, it could lead to the child physically attacking the parent (because they want the parent to leave them alone, unless they need someone to help them with a daily life need).
It seems like an interesting book to read, from the point of view of someone with an autistic sibling. I've often wondered how my younger, NT sister must see the world. She often seems desperate for attention, and also abuses me verbally. I just can't understand why. (Especially because she is convinced that she is not abusive.)