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Ishmael
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23 Sep 2008, 11:25 am

Okay, I'm surprised nobody has said this, but regardless I'd still sleep with her.
I don't often say that about models. Somebody should feel lucky.

Well, go on, don't waste the moment!


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violet_yoshi
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23 Sep 2008, 11:26 am

pandd wrote:
There is no one size fits all 'model' for people with AS. I find the suggestion odd.

Is the OP expecting everyone to ignore anyone with AS unless they fit certain parameters, so only non-autistics and autistics who fit their preferred stereotype are permitted to be famous?

I do not consider Heather Kuzmich a role model for me in any way. But I do not consider her an embarrassment or otherwise unfit representation of someone characterised by AS. Further, if someone wants a role model, and Heather happens to fit that role for them personally, I see nothing wrong with that.


The problem with this, is that society does have a one size fits all 'model' of female beauty. That model is one that few if any women will ever live up to, and I feel Heather is representing that. I said in another post if she spoke out against how society treats women who don't look like her, like they're worthless, that would be awesome. I could respect that. If she did a photoshoot without the trappings of the modeling industry and said, this is reality. That I could respect. It's very contradictory that a representative of a group of women, who I'm guessing for the most part grew up as tomboys and didn't ever fit into society's ideal of a woman, should be represented by a model. Heather Kuzmich is weilding a double edged sword in her decision to be a part of modeling and advocating for women with Asperger's Syndrome.

I'm saying, she is in a difficult position. I can understand that, and I can say I'm sure I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. She represents the image of the woman a lot of us were bullied by in in school, so it is a knee-jerk reaction to hate her for being beautiful. I hope perhaps she reads these posts and understand this is about representing an industry that for years told us tomboy girls, get thin and learn how to wear makeup, or never ever have hopes of getting a boyfriend. It's like embracing the enemy to get the word out about a better good. Like when Mario teamed up with Bowser in one of the Mario RPG games to help save the princess, because they both realized that her safety was their common goal. Even if they disagreed on who should be with her.

I think it would be really cute if Heather did a photoshoot as Princess Peach, wouldn't that be so awesome?



DW_a_mom
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23 Sep 2008, 12:56 pm

Ishmael wrote:
Okay, I'm surprised nobody has said this, but regardless I'd still sleep with her.
I don't often say that about models. Somebody should feel lucky.

Well, go on, don't waste the moment!


Typical male :wink:


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Ishmael
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23 Sep 2008, 1:41 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Ishmael wrote:
Okay, I'm surprised nobody has said this, but regardless I'd still sleep with her.
I don't often say that about models. Somebody should feel lucky.

Well, go on, don't waste the moment!


Typical male :wink:


Guilty.


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pandd
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23 Sep 2008, 9:30 pm

violet_yoshi wrote:

The problem with this, is that society does have a one size fits all 'model' of female beauty. That model is one that few if any women will ever live up to, and I feel Heather is representing that.

And necessarily so are all the other models in the business; your objection seems to be about Heather having AS. To me it just looks like you want to hold Heather and all others with AS to particular standards just because they have AS. Words I find descriptive of this phenomenon are 'prejudice', and 'discrimination'.
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I said in another post if she spoke out against how society treats women who don't look like her, like they're worthless, that would be awesome. I could respect that. If she did a photoshoot without the trappings of the modeling industry and said, this is reality. That I could respect. It's very contradictory that a representative of a group of women, who I'm guessing for the most part grew up as tomboys and didn't ever fit into society's ideal of a woman, should be represented by a model.

If people choose to be 'represented' by someone, that's their choice. I do not see why this one model is being singled out except that she has AS. Plenty of people think most models are not their choice of representation, others have different views. You seem to single out one of many the same in all the ways you describe, but for this one having AS.

People with AS are as entitled as anyone else to seek their fame and fortune modeling if they can make it. Having AS should not require that someone either live a life of absolute obscurity or avoid any and all offense to any and all other persons with AS.
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Heather Kuzmich is weilding a double edged sword in her decision to be a part of modeling and advocating for women with Asperger's Syndrome.

Someone should not have to push your every barrow to pursue a career and be a self advocating member of a particular group. Whether a person mixes cement, removes cancerous tumor growths, or poses for pictures for a living, they should not have to conform to your standards to be something you think represents you, to be permitted to advocate for themselves as a member of a particular group.
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I'm saying, she is in a difficult position. I can understand that, and I can say I'm sure I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. She represents the image of the woman a lot of us were bullied by in in school, so it is a knee-jerk reaction to hate her for being beautiful.

I find it distasteful to hate someone for how they look. I cannot agree with condemnations based on 'this person is doing what others do and has AS', and/or 'she's good looking'.
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I hope perhaps she reads these posts and understand this is about representing an industry that for years told us tomboy girls, get thin and learn how to wear makeup, or never ever have hopes of getting a boyfriend. It's like embracing the enemy to get the word out about a better good. Like when Mario teamed up with Bowser in one of the Mario RPG games to help save the princess, because they both realized that her safety was their common goal. Even if they disagreed on who should be with her.

Why her of all models? Oh right because she has AS, and people with AS cannot pursue a life like others, they have to submit to some group project that entails identification of, and refraining from embracing 'the enemy'.....who probably looks like this :twisted: , but would look like this :evil: if Heather got with the project and embraced Ishmael rather than enemy.

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I think it would be really cute if Heather did a photoshoot as Princess Peach, wouldn't that be so awesome?

That would be representing an industry that for years told us dyspraxics to get coordinated and stop letting those ape tossed barrels hit you. It's like embracing the enemy. :roll:



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23 Sep 2008, 9:51 pm

Violet you are being a little too superficial when it comes to the assumption of she doesn't look like a geek therefore she is not.

Heather is not THE role model. She is only one. If you are pissed off because you are in belief that you must be ugly in order to be a geek, you're wrong.

Geeks are not born straight from their mother's womb looking like this

Image

It seems that you Violet are falling for the same old media regurgitation of stereotyping images associated with the brain which are highly innaccurate.

Or...you could just be jealous. I'm tired of women doing this to each other over looks and then complaining that others are so superficial. If women would quit being so insecure over pretty women, there would be more friendships and comradeship with other females.

Get over her prettiness and work on your own insecurities.



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24 Sep 2008, 9:22 am

Maybe you didn't realize I said I had gotten over her image. I'm saying that it would be great if she did something with that image, that made a statement against's society's mass marketing of women as being worthy only based on image. It's less of an AS issue, and more of a woman's issue. Also, if you don't see something wrong with the modeling industry I'm just going to have to say, you must be naive. My problem isn't with Heather, it's the industry she happens to be a part of. I also explained that for many Aspies, they were bullied by the queen bees of their high school, who also just happened to be the prettiest girl in class. It's a knee-jerk reaction based in part, from bad experiences. I said I understand this is why I was first upset about Heather representing Aspie women, but then changed my mind. Heather is the most visible female Aspie role model, can you dispute that?

Meowpurr, I can't find an image on the net, but there was an episode of Rocko's Modern Life where Filburt and Mrs. Hutchison had babies. They were born out of an egg, and when the Filburt babies came out they immediately put on tiny dork glasses. So what about that? LoL



ShadesOfMe
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24 Sep 2008, 12:34 pm

I have strong doubts that she is an aspie. In fact she seems so Un Aspie it's not even funny.



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24 Sep 2008, 1:18 pm

I like Heather Kuzmich as a role model for women with Asperger's. She went out and did her best on America's Next Top Model, did well, and she went out there despite what anyone thought of her. She isn't afraid to admit that she loves art and games along with modeling. Modeling in itself is an art, despite what some people have turned it into nowadays. I found that modeling is harder than what I first thought from watching America's Next Top Model. Not only do you have to have good looks, but you also have to have the skill to make people see the message in the picture. The point of the art is to make a statement with your body, much like other art media are making statements with whatever medium they're using. Anyways, I also thought that it was cool that more people were able to know about AS from watching Heather on ANTP. I'd have to say that it was way better than Dr. Phil's portrayal about autism.


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violet_yoshi
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24 Sep 2008, 6:24 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
I have strong doubts that she is an aspie. In fact she seems so Un Aspie it's not even funny.


You can't say that, or the Heatherites will come after you, calling you insecure and jelous. It's good to hear someone else say it though, I given up all hope for someone seeing past her physical beauty, for who she really is.



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24 Sep 2008, 6:26 pm

I never heard she was supposed to represent everyone with that diagnosis. :roll:

I noticed that when I got in the news (which happened with pretty much no warning on my part), there were people who got angry with me from two different directions:

1. People who thought I was too 'low functioning' to properly 'represent autism', or even that I was embarrassing because I looked 'too autistic'.

2. People who thought I was too 'high functioning' to properly 'represent autism', or that I did not look 'autistic enough' then or at some other point in my life.

I learned from that never, ever to judge someone just for being in the news a lot and being autistic in any form:

1. The media invariably gets things wrong, or oversimplifies what the person is trying to do or say about anything. This is not the fault of that person and often the person (especially if taking people at their word which is common for autistic people) has no clue how to change it or prepare for it or even expect it.

2. You invariably only see a tiny bit of a person's life. You don't know what her life is like the rest of the time. You can make assumptions, but assumptions made about autistic people, especially based on the tiny soundbite-like segments of people's lives that the media tend to us, are frequently wrong. (This goes for both assumptions about what things are like now when they're not on camera, and assumptions about what their past or future might be like.)

3. Autistic people whose real point is to do something else, get thrust into the position of being 'role model's whether they ask it or not, or want it or not. (And some invariably will go along with it of course, but most will not have planned anything that way. Although it may be made to look like they did.)

4. Everything about a person's life will be taken as meaning something about autism, even if it's totally unrelated or not related in the way people try to relate it. (I did a video that I considered to be about a lot of things and yet in the media it was always "a video about autism". I use a wheelchair because of an autism-related movement disorder that a significant minority of us get, and while there is a relation to autism, it was not the relation they claimed it was in the media, nor have I always had this problem at this severity. Etc.)

And there are so many other problems... just don't do it. Don't expect someone to represent us all. It's never going to happen, and that's a good thing. Don't punish a person for not being able to do it -- nobody can.

And she's far from the only woman with an AS dx who's been in the media, I remember the same show I was on profiled a dog trainer with AS another time as well, and another woman I know with (I think) an AS or maybe PDD-NOS dx was on a BBC documentary about life extension research (see here)

And for those who judge on appearances, that last woman and I have more in common in more areas related to autism than either of us have with just about anyone else, and require similar levels of support due to autism-related things, yet we're stereotyped as being at opposite extremes because she passes a little better on camera at this point in time and has a job, and because her SO handles the support rather than state-funded workers, and oh yeah because she's currently "prettier" than I am by standard measures (not necessarily true our whole lives)... so think before you react to media depictions or superficial stereotyping as if you know all there is to know about someone based on it, or as if we should each singlehandedly "represent" autism (whatever that means).

Trashing people for being in the media is a long tradition in the autistic community but it is a truly ugly one and having now received it and knowing how little people base their opinions of you on... I've stopped engaging in it and would apologize to anyone I did it to in the past if I knew where they were, because it's not productive, it's the same gossip tendency people always act like only NTs have.


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violet_yoshi
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24 Sep 2008, 6:50 pm

Anbuend, so were you on a modeling show too? It's different when a woman goes into the media, representing an industry that commodifies women as objects.



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24 Sep 2008, 7:37 pm

Look, if you hate modeling so much, go picket on 5th avenue. But don't blame Heather. She's good at what she does, whether it's modeling, art, or video games, and there are a lot of people (me included) who do think she's a positive role model for demonstrating that people with autism spectrum disorders can be successful in life. Personally I love fashion, and I am just as much offended for your criticism of modeling as I would be if you posted some crap about video games causing violence in kids.

I suggest getting a rubber band and putting it on your wrist. Every time a negative thought comes into your head regarding modeling, Heather, fashion or ANTM, you snap yourself. Eventually you might be able to break yourself of this negative obsession you've gotten yourself into.



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24 Sep 2008, 10:39 pm

violet_yoshi wrote:
Anbuend, so were you on a modeling show too? It's different when a woman goes into the media, representing an industry that commodifies women as objects.


No, I wasn't. And I don't approve even slightly of the modeling industry. But I separate disapproving of someone's job (or the industry it takes place in -- two separate things in their own right), from making the sorts of assumptions about someone's autism that I have seen on this thread. And from deciding that a person ought to be measured against the standard of "representing autistic people" just by happening to be autistic and ending up in the media spotlight for some reason.

Basically, if I see an autistic person, I don't assume that they ought to be representing all of us (or that it is even possible), or even a huge portion of us (such as "AS women"). Because of that, I do not become disappointed that they have traits, or make choices in their life, that I do not view as "representative enough". If they actually say something about autism that I disagree with, I might have a problem with that, but I don't run around thinking of each autistic person in the media as a "representative of autism" any more than I run around thinking that a woman in the media needs to be held to the standard of representing all women. (I disagree vehemently, for instance, with most of what Ann Coulter or Hillary Clinton writes (just to pick two women from each side of the standard American political spectrum that I have problems with), but I don't think, "What a horrible representative of women.")

And you don't have to approve of someone's job to show them a basic level of respect, either. (I don't know if you have been not doing so, because I have trouble following who posted what, but I am responding to some of the things in this thread. If you're not doing them, I'm not talking about you.)


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25 Sep 2008, 6:52 am

I think HK should do whatever she feels that she wants to do, because it is her life. I know if I suddenly became famous I would not waste five seconds thinking of everything which everyone else on the spectrum wants me to portray. I also take issue with the way that the modelling industry works, but the fact that you and I both have an ASD doesn't mean that you get any say in how I run my life.

Annoyed that HK is not representative of ASDs? She can't be representative of everyone. She's one person, who didn't even set out to be representative. If the issue is that there isn't someone in the public eye whom you can identify with, then that has nothing to do with HK.

I think the mentality of representation holds us back really. It happens to all disadvantaged groups. "You're a female CEO, and we don't have many of those, so you have to do X and X and X in order to avoid making all women look bad. As for Mr. A, who does the same job, well he doesn't have to take his whole gender with him, because most CEOs are male, so he can just get on with living his life." "You're a black research physicist, and we don't have many of those, so you have to...." etc. I want spectrumites to get on with living their lives the way that they see fit - this is something which NTs take for granted. I don't want them to be held back by their ASDs in any avoidable way. Having to represent the entire spectrum and live according to its wishes is one way of being held back.


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violet_yoshi
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25 Sep 2008, 9:18 am

She might not have set out to be representative of everyone with Asperger's Syndrome, that changed when she said she wanted to be a spokesperson on behalf of people with Asperger's Syndrome. That's saying, I want to be a representative.