Misinformation and bullying

Post Reply New Topic

---Edit: Adequate links to professional statements regarding AS posted (with kudos to Google). No further interaction from my side intended.---

I'm starting this off with a recent experience of mine. I didn't really know where else to put this so I created this topic. If I'm however violating forum policies here, I am very sorry - please do mod/lock/delete it if necessary.

Okay so it's 2.30 am. I'm up as usually, but more anxious than usually. Mostly because I am somewhat upset about something that happened.

I was leisurely browsing my Livejournal friends-page when I spotted a friend's post linking to a recent article on Asperger's, quoting Simon Baron-Cohen etc.. So, nothing special about that, but what did catch my eye were comments by this friend's friend talking about googling/wiki'ing Sacha Baron-Cohen, and in that slur state that neither Newton nor Einstein were Aspies because they did original work, which "--- people with Asperger's are not capable of. They may do good derivative work, but never truly original" and "Gah, the presumption of some people *Indignant* It's the eternal nasty labelling of people/things one can't quite comprehend GRR" ...that being as exact as I remember it, I read it over and over just to let this ignorance sink in, I couldn't believe it. I mean WHO here is labeling things they obviously know bananas about?

So, obviously she is the subject of grave misinformation. I did then proceed to respond in a manner that I only afterward realised may have come across way more aggressive than I meant it. Not even once did I actually lose my temper, I did intend a little sarcasm which may not have translated so well. Well what happened was that this person suggested we continue the discussion in her journal, which I postponed because of my internet trouble (and because I didn't have much interest for it at that exact moment). She then proceeded to post this in my journal:

"So, voutilainen, --- *Snigger* How ridiculous that name sounds when being pronounced ! XD --– care to resume discussion/s here ? Or are you chickening out after making three pointless, uninformed and irrelevant responses to a comment not intended for you in a space that belongs to one the comment was directed towards ? Do answer here, if you are capable of spelling said answer/s correctly and still have the guts to follow up with some more of your unwanted, uninteresting and unappreciated presence."

I now am extremely shocked at this person's behaviour which is extremely juvenile to express it mildly! Only that's not all: she also proceeded to DELETE it, as in only let it get to me, but keep her ignorance and infantile behaviour out of the open, as can be seen here along with my comments on her comment. She also proceded to delete her original comments on Asperger's on our mutual friend's post, so the only thing to indicate her comments are the discussions surrounding them. One could, giving her the benefit of the doubt, suggest that perhaps she realised her error and wanted to remove all fallacious comments, IF it wasn't for this post that she directed on me.

What am I to say here more than what I already have? I'm just exhausted of being the object of this kind of bull(ying)s**t. And it's not just me, the Aspie community as whole has been targeted here, I just have been singled out for the blow because I stood up for us!

Any thoughts? Does anybody have any GOOD SOURCE I could lead this chick - who is obviously lost - to!? Should I even bother?


--- Edit: I was slightly upset, yet not so much if at all after reading her comment on the comment left in her journal. She's clearly too stuck in her own world of fluffy bunnies and ignorance to be worth caring about. I wouldn't mind correcting her, though...I mean I'm bothered by her manner of conduct AFTER the initial comments. No explanation or elaboration to her opinion. Just stating it and then warding off the rest as "ret*d". That's what is irritating! But mainly I'm just confused as to why I'm in this situation in the first place

I wouldn't bother with it. There are some people out there that will say things and there's no convincing them that they are wrong. That person looks like they just want to have a flame war with you.

Hi DasObscure. I've read your posting here, your comments to this person and hers to you. It took a while. Even though your original comments to her sounded perhaps a little heated, I think that was understandable. However, her final response to you sounded quite taunting and seemed to be designed to upset you. I don't think you should dignify her efforts with any further response. I doubt that she would be interested in improving her knowledge and I suspect she would use any future contact contact from you as an opportunity to try to insult you further.

If you REALLY need to make some response, perhaps you should just tell her that you're disappointed with her views and behaviour and that you recommend that she educates herself more fully on the topic of Asperger's before she makes any more public pronouncements.

Try not to take all of this too personally, won't you? Some people are just ignorant and rude, I'm afraid.

Best wishes, Jenny.

Yes, I came to the conclusion that she wasn't really worth it, but I wasn't even really aggravated at any point - merely irked because of her talking out of her a**e and particularly the conduct regarding such a gravely fallacious statement (i.e. clinging on to it), so I made a comment (with links to professional statements debunking her argument) which I consider my last one (unless she changes ber behavior and manner of responses which isn't likely) - I wasn't in it for arguing in the first place, but for information! I've submitted it and she has failed to, end of story! I don't care what "Yo, you n****r jew eurotrash w***e, your so rong lolz"-kind of comment she'd come back with, it has no reason to get to me, and it won't. I never was personally offended, just irritated because of her childishness. I've always had a beef with stupid people...and I know it's a lot of beef particularly for a pescatarian like me! =P

I'm glad you're not letting her rudeness bother you too much. You're right- having a beef with stupid people IS a lot of beef- I guess I'm lucky I'm a vegetarian.

Haha yes, well what I meant was that it's a lot of beef particularly for one who doesn't eat it, so it's basically unfortunate if you're vegetarian - unless of course you DON'T have a beef with said subject in which vegetarianism is lucky because you don't eat meat thus don't miss out on the "beef" you'd get. If you get my point =P now as I look back I see how that may be very confusing for someone to read

I think it was probably ME who confused YOU. I did understand your joke, and I was just replying with another (not very good) one of my own. (Although I AM a vegetarian.) To avoid further confusion, I shall now refrain from any further jokes or puns, such as suggesting that your comments sound "fishy"- that's too cheap a shot to aim at a pescatarian. (Sorry, that was shellfish of me.)

Yes, that thought did cross my mind, and I did express appreciation for your joke as well ("haha, yes"). I just wasn't sure if you got mine, so I made a clarifying reply

BTW, your profile says you're NT...so are you on this forum because 'someone you know has AS and'/you 'just', wanna know more about the condition? Or are you of the unfortunate category never to have received any professional to reaffirm your suspicion of being Aspie?

Yes, I am one of those annoying NTs, I'm afraid- sorry. There are several reasons why I've been hanging around, really.

1. I'm a high school teacher and I often teach students who have AS. I teach two this year who've been diagnosed, plus at least one other who probably has it. I've often had good relationships with students with AS.

2. I've been chatting regularly via email for the past 6 months with a young guy who has Asperger's. He originally contacted me when I answered a question of his on an online forum and we've stayed in touch ever since. He hasn't been officially diagnosed, but he diagnosed himself based on information he found online and he certainly seems to have most of the associated traits. He's quite isolated and has been struggling with lots of issues. (He doesn't feel comfortable about joining Wrong Planet, by the way.) I've been trying to learn more about Asperger's so that I can understand him better.

3. I don't have Asperger's, but I'm probably at the nerdier end of the NT spectrum and I think I share a few traits with people with AS. I tend to be fairly honest and direct and have odd interests and a quirky (?) sense of humour. I'm not very concerned about outward appearances and I enjoy the company of people who are a bit different from the mainstream, as long as they're honest and intelligent. I was extremely shy and had some social difficulties until my mid-teens and know what that feels like. However, I don't have those difficulties now (although I'm fairly reserved) and my verbal and non-verbal communication skills are very good (if I do say so myself). In fact, if I tell my students that I used to be shy and found it difficult to talk, they find it hard to believe.

That's about it, I think.

Well that's cool with me I like anyone who is interested in finding out truths and I don't have a particular beef with NT's - on the contrary, I seem to have a little anxiety sometimes concerning conversing with (other) Aspies since some tend to be really confrontational and - well, often without exception - stubborn, which again in turn sometimes leads to unfortunate, isolated cases of rigid and stuck views. I recently had to block a guy - who found me here om WP - on AIM because he was extremely exhausting to deal with. Even though probably a big chunk of his behaviour was intended tongue-in-cheek, I just couldn't longer stand his constant whining over things and not accepting when I'd point out it was something he could work with if only he accepted professional help, his cocky demeanor, his bigotry towards blacks and his constant boasting with America. Also he kept trying to invalidate my current relationship and boyfriend because he was obviously miserable as he himself lacked a lovelife. And although I told him that it would do him good to be a bit introspective, take a good look at his own social skills and developing them, he seemed very uninterested to do so even though he clearly was depressed with his social life.

I mean...I like people who challenge me, but this was just plain irritating!

Thanks, DasObscure. I can understand why a lot of people here on WP are wary of NTs, though- some have had to cope with years of being excluded and misunderstood by the people around them.

I can see why there might be some difficulties when people with AS interact with each other- if one or both people have problems with social skills, you might expect some tensions to arise. Mind you, NTs often don't get along with each other either. I think it's overlooked by some Aspies on this site that a lot of NTs actually have poor social skills, especially children and teenagers.

As for rigid and stuck views, these certainly aren't confined to people with AS either. I've noticed, though, that my young email friend with AS does sometimes get ideas into his head that make his life more difficult but are very hard to shake. He has a LOT of trouble seeing other people's point of view. I've learned to be fairly blunt and to tell him what I really think when he says inappropriate or irresponsible things, and it helps to avoid a lot of misunderstandings in the long run.

Anyway, I'm glad you don't regard NTs as enemies. I like lots of people, and some of them are NT and some happen to have AS, and they're all individuals with strengths and weaknesses and personal quirks. I don't expect people to all be the same.