weight loss and its issues

Post Reply New Topic

Exhibit A.


Good for you. It's not that simple for everyone, and more importantly, not everyone wants to do that, which is their own business.




If waggling fingers at people, in ignorance of scientific evidence, worked to make people lose weight, there wouldn't be any more fat people.
Didn't work too well for depressed people either.
Stick your fingers in your ears and say "Nanner nanner boo boo" all you want,
there are dozens of factors which determine an individual's weight.


The "why" is easy: hormonal factors, the industrial food complex, food deserts, economic disparity, government subsidizations, and more. What isn't so easy is educating people who are ignorant of all these factors and the complex physiology behind them. If you want fewer fat people, you have to change the myriad of factors comprising the systems which produce them. And then, as there have been throughout history, there will STILL be fat people.

I'm the same way- my heart rate is absurdly low, my body temperature, as well, similar to my mother's.
I grew up eating pretty healthfully along with my family and engaging in lots of physical activity, and all of us were overweight if not obese. It's mind-boggling that there are still people who have trouble grasping the notion that different people are -gasp- different.

To be honest, it's all the more offensive coming from spectrumites, who get stereotyped all the time with bigoted nonsense, people assuming they're stupid/rude/dangerous/etc. You'd think the ability to look beyond stereotypes would extend to other groups, but apparently not.

^^this.

i think that what people are failing to realise is that both VW and i lost a metric crap-ton of weight, so we don't need to make any "excuses". we are not actually fat at the moment. we accomplished that, and yet we are not hating on people who are unable to do so. i wish i could see how it could be helpful or productive to judge fat people, but i simply can't see the point.

perhaps aspies should just get off their asses and be more NT. it's just a matter of self-control and will-power, right?

When it comes to over weight people, esp females, this is my only take on the matter.

Its a persons body, if your not in a relationship do as you like. what others do with their health and lives is their business not mine. if you want to die early its your life, I am not going to judge you for it.

If in a relationship, then you must consider how your partner feels, I was once married to a woman who was just slightly over weight when we met, but when we divorced the doctors scales couldn't even weight her. I was always afraid that if she had an accident or if there was a fire and she needed carried to safety I couldn't help her, and would then feel guilty and sad if she got hurt or died.

Also when you care about someone you want them to live a long and healthy life. to be there with you over the years, not unnecessarily die early. and so you must consider the added potential medical costs to the partner and family. although I do realize some medical conditions make it difficult to keep the weight off (or on) and I do keep that in consideration.

ALSO, she was always depressed about her weight, I had no control over her or her weight, I got so sick of hearing her complain about it yet do nothing, as if I could or should do it for her. if your happy with who and what you are then fine just remember this can also affect your sex and romantic life, fat is not attractive esp when your partner can not find the right wrinkle to put it in. otherwise shut up about it and do something about it, I will support and nurture as best I can but I do not want to be made to feel helpless and guilty for something thats beyond my control. and I do not enjoy having a partner who is always depressed.

you must love your self enough to care first, as well as respect your partners feeling on the matter, not blame them because of how it may make them or you feel.

Whats sad, is I seen many women do nothing but complain about their weight while in a relationship and do little about it, but once their relationship was over finely got up and done something about it because they knew how unattractive it was and they were lonely.

Thats my peace on the matter.

It sort of depends. Some people struggle with this issue, and at some points in their life, when they don't have the ability to cope, they're just not going to be able to live up to those expectations. If they have a history of problems they should say so at the outset of the relationship - and if they do, and you proceed anyway, then you've consented. Unless you've told them you'll split if they gain weight, in which case, they've consented to that possibility, if they proceed anyway.

Some people, though, have the ability to cope, but once they feel secure, don't try anymore. This does not relate just to this issue but to many others. It relates to things like neglect, respect, abuse, alcoholism, gambling and things like that as well. There was a fellow once I used to work with that got teased by everyone because he went through a string of girlfriends with always the same pattern: they would be average weight and treat him very well at the outset, then gradually gain weight and become uncaring towards him, until the relationship failed. At which point, they would lose all the weight again. Presumably to attract someone else and repeat the whole pattern all over again.

But it's pretty hard to tell whether someone is just not trying because they feel secure, or whether they've just lost the ability to cope due to depression or challenges in life or because they're unhappy in the relationship or whatever. If you treat someone well and give them security and confidence, they will have more power to work on their issues, and many will, but some will go the opposite direction. And if you treat someone badly and give them misery and insecurity, they will have more problems with their issues. I think this is a very complex issue and really hard to sort out, even in an individual case - it is so hard to tell what the cause is.

Last edited by edgewaters on 16 Jul 2012, 12:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Like, how many women at the onset of their relationships talk about their weight? and how often were we men told not to ever mention a womans weight, esp at the onset of a relationship? and have you ever done so without blowing it all out of the water? women trip out when you mention weight! most are vary vain, and its considered vary impolite.

P90X has helped thousands of people and it is a tried and tested method for people that are overweight. The success rate is high and it can definitely give results and I would definitely suggest it for anyone that is looking to lose weight and get defined, it also does teach about various aspects of fitness and it is a great start to getting into fitness.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJqUKACXz5w[/youtube]

Sure, it's easy to complain about the set of cards we are given but it takes real strength to accept those cards and try to make a concious effort to make that change. If you compare yourself to someone that is in extremely good shape and say "I can never be like that" or "It's just not in my genes", how is that encouraging you? You need to realize that it can be achieved and that thousands of transformations have been achieved with P90X.

They're looking for consent sometimes, in case they gain weight, they want to know they'll still have security. That's a condition of being in the relationship for some of them. They're free to have conditions, and bail if they aren't met. So are you. People shouldn't pretend and keep secret boundaries just to be with someone, that's just going to end miserably. If they don't like your conditions, or you don't like theirs, might as well get it over with sooner rather than both of you wasting years that you could be using to find someone more suitable.

Another good method is to make two sheets of reasons why you need to get healthy and why not, that's a method that a man used in the P90X video and as you can see his reasons made him see why he needed to get healthier.

Making that change isn't just about doing it for yourself but it's about doing it for others and setting an example to your family and loved ones. Being able to be a handy husband or an active mother that is able to play with her children, being able to enjoy confidence and realize that you are doing something for the better.

ok, welcome to your new thread, located in the Health, Fitness, and Sports section. there is a bit of Love & Dating content still remaining in the conversation that has been moved over here, but most of it is health-related.

it was 10 pages of derailment, so it was time to start a new thread.

about the idea that a spouse should have any say as to their partner's body... well, people are arguing that it is a health concern. fair's fair, so i suppose that your partner could also get on your case about your potential health risks, which could include any or all of these things:

alcohol consumption
recreational drug use
OTC vitamin and supplement usage
excessive exercise
coffee drinking
eating any fast food or unhealthy food... ever
unsafe driving (really, given the statistics, if you are a male under a certain age then statistically you could be a risk)
cooking without properly washing your preparation surfaces
associating with sketchy friends, or not having enough/any friends
keeping your house too messy
lack of church attendance
using products that contribute to global warming and loss of ozone layer
not wearing sunscreen and/or spending too much time outdoors
not visiting the doctor for regular checkups
excessive computer usage
medication non-compliance
sex without a condom
smoking cigarettes
swimming in public pools
going out to the pub in dangerous neighbourhoods, or late at night
neglecting to wash hands thoroughly after using the toilet

...etc....

obviously, i don't support the idea of getting all up in someone's business, and i would never date someone who got on my back about my health. it's my body and i do with it as i see fit. i believe everyone should.


EDIT: i forgot these ones:

insufficient sleep
listening to loud music
not enough education
stressful job
moving house too often
estrangement from family
extreme emotions

Most of the reasons you stated are through irresponsibility or the lack of common sense so anyone can pull things out of a bag like that.

I can absolutely and 100% agree on this one. There is evidence that if a person becomes obese, there is a 50ish% chance that people from his family or friends gain weight as well. From my experience, this works the other way around as well.
Since my massive weight loss over the course of the past year, almost anyone on my family and from my friends has picked up a sport of some kind and became more active. Especially some elder people that had problem with them being overweight (as in: health problems) managed to lose large amounts of weight. I would not only restrict the "activity factor" on parents, having more energy and being more active are universal values that people you care about will react positively to. One of the things I like to tell people is: If you are happy the way you are, don't change anything. But you should consider if there might be ways you could be happier.

Erm. This reads like a laundry list of the kind of stuff most women nag their men about. This is practically ubiquitous.

And to be honest, it's a lot to remember and put effort into. A kick in pants on some of these things is necessary, at least for me, once in a while. Single guys who are friends will even point these things out to each other when necessary sometimes, in the absence of a mate to do so.

Mind you. To look at it another way - an excess of help of this sort is counterproductive and breeds resentment. Also - the intent with which it is delivered is important. I suppose there is a real life version of something you mentioned previously, "concern trolling", that exists offline.

Sociology 101 there is no such thing as common sense. The idea that knowledge of any form is common is impossible mainly because knowledge is not learned in a linear pattern.

There are plenty of people who are unaware that many of the things on the list above can have negative effects on someones health.

Wolfheart, your partner may decide for you that you are taking too many vitamins and exercising too much. would you stop?