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Well it's all getting sorted now innit

I just wanna move on from the who thing and start getting on with my life again

I reckon that's going to feel really nice to feel like yourself again.

Well I am thinking of you I hope it has been as kind to you as possible today.

How are you, babybird?

I'm in a lot of discomfort mate

I can't really spend too much time on here because it goes down my arm as well

I don't know how I'm gonna be able to lie down in that MRI tube on Tuesday

I can't even lie down in bed

I keep imagining that I'll be in that much pain that I'll have to press the emergency button and they'll have to pull me out of the machine

I am so sorry. It is heart-breaking to think of you like that. I wish there was something I could do.

I hope for the MRI they will be able to give you something like a nerve block.

I am going to keep asking - have you slept. Is there anything at all that could give you any little bit of comfort. Are you warm.

But you are welcome to take it as 'thinking of you'. Because I am.

I hope if you are able to bear people you will be read to, be sung to, have your hair stroked if you like that. Anything that might feel the tiniest bit good.

Tuesday is coming. I am so sorry.

I've not slept in my normal position for months because I can feel my ribs moving about like wobbly teeth

I am getting enough sleep but I'm doing it sat up with my indoor coat on and I'm propped with cushions in a way so that I can't move

I am so glad you are sleeping.

Looking forward to reduced pain and deep sleep.

That'll be so good for you.

Hang in there, babybird. You are doing so well. You are amazing.


This is another question that just means 'thinking of you'. Do they know truly how bad the pain is. Sometimes you downplay things. I hope they know.

If you saw me you wouldn't know how much pain I'm in so they probably don't realise

That is a massive part of the problem

That is a massive problem.

I do not believe they would leave you in this degree of pain. Truly, honestly.

More questions that mean 'thinking of you'. You mentioned taking something for it. Does it take the edge off or not do anything at all. Is there someone you do feel able to report pain to.

The pain's weird because it happens without warning and I think it's when the bone hits a nerve or muscle, so it goes from 0 to 100 within no time. No warning or time to get a painkiller when that happens

Antiinflammatory medication doesn't clear the pain but it helps to take the edge off dull aches so I try to take them when I can

Weed makes me more aware of this particular variety pain and then I start getting all anxious about it so I'm not using that. I think it's because I'm worried about my internal organs so my imagination plays havoc when I've had a smoke

I suppose I could try the CBD or CBG. I've got some of that knocking about somewhere and that won't have the psychoactive effect

Anyway times getting on and it usually starts flaring up at around 2pm

Peace and love

I'd like to think that doctors etc are aware that some people hide pain

I'm walking and I'm upright when I go there but most people are aren't they

Unfortunately a lot of doctors just take what they're given.

Especially if you are used to downplaying stuff.

They won't always poke at it.

You are very good at downplaying it, babybird.