weight loss and its issues

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I agree; trying to make weight a black-and-white issue of willpower is reductive given how many variables are at play. In all honesty whole idea of willpower seems a bit outdated, harking back as it does to 19th century (and earlier) faculty psychology. What would seem more accurate is a model that looks at the ratio of resources-- psychological, social, biological, genetic-- to challenges. To use hyperlexian's example of an Aspie learning to socialize, you have to take into account that person's innate social ability, which varies even among us as you can readily see; their perceptiveness and acting ability; the available social supports; their mood; the difficulty/receptiveness of the situation; their developmental experiences-- these are all causal factors in their likelihood of achieving their goal. Those that are positive will boost their chances, those that are negative will decrease them, and the balance of the two will determine their success. Because the aspie has a lesser amount of certain resources (social intelligence) than an NT, in the absence of other strengths to offset this lack, they are by definition set up to fail at this particular goal. The same is true of a person trying to get to a certain weight. So what is the real meaning of the term "willpower"? Does it imply some kind of free choice about whether to succeed, and therefore a moral judgment? Or does it refer to some self-contained psychological faculty that can't be represented by the kind of variables listed above?

i should add that, yes - as a child of very young age i would sneak into the kitchen at night and lick the sticks of butter. i would also eat sugar straight out of the bag. i grew up in a family full of addicts, and both my genetic history and family background set the foundation for later food issues. plus i am a supertaster (thankfully i have fewer tastebuds now, but some foods are still off-limits), so most veggies taste disgusting.

these are not excuses - i am not obese anymore, after all. but it borders on physically painful to avoid eating the foods i have always loved. i am not a weak person - i withstood 45 hours of labour when delivering my child - with no painkillers, an improperly dilated cervix, and a broken tailbone. i quit heavy smoking and drugs, both cold turkey.strength and willpower are simply not an issue for me, but stopping myself from eating shortbread cookies almost brings me to my knees.

i would not judge someone's body weight for a second, because i am not inside their brain, their body, or their life.

yes, that's a good point. i like how you've rounded it out with variables.

one interesting point i've stumbled across is a link between obesity and poverty. i think it's too complex to chalk it up to one reason or another, but it is interesting that such a divide exists.

Of course, it's their life but it is up to us as a future generation to set a good example to the young generations. It is necessary to realize how we can develop our understanding in how we can treat it like everything other addiction as such as drug or alcohol addiction instead of just pointing the finger or putting it to one side. If we can develop this understanding as a society, we can improve the lives of people. As hyper has stated, it is an addiction and not something she personally wanted so in that sense, we should find ways that are productive to the lives and longevity of those that suffer from it. If it's so comparable to anxiety, depression or a neurological difference, would you be so quick to embrace something like that?

Let's say the concept is true, I didn't state it was, you seem to have jumped to conclusions as I wasn't doubting the fact that there are evident genetic and neurological differences that contribute to obesity but if you think willpower doesn't play a significant role, you are kidding yourself. We should look for ways to counter these problems whether they are biochemical, biological, genetic, neurological or whatever term you want to throw at it. That's why I said people need to find what works for them and for some that may involve re-framing their mind and having hypnotherapy sessions in an attempt to start eating logically instead of emotionally.

^^we've had this discussion before - the problems associated with alcoholism cost the public health system far more than obesity, yet for some reason people aren't hating on alcoholics. why aren't you in the "Post When You Are Drunk" thread and telling people how much they cost the public health system?

americans?

Why does love and dating turn into diet advice concern troll time so often gahh

p1 posits: women like chocolate
p2 posits : oho so long as you don't get fat hoho, because fertility, paternalism. blah blah blah

If health and fitness is super important for you to talk about, go talk about it in a relevant space
yes, being "hot" is related to L&D, but how much babyfood you put in your chocolate isn't

I honestly don't think Wolfheart has bad intent or is trying to troll. He is always trying to be helpful and use his experience to help people around here, on a wide variety of topics. His experience happens to be that he's been very succesful achieving changes in his attitude, life, and even physical appearance through willpower, and at a young age to boot (or minotaurheadcheese's idea of psychosocial resources, which I think is more accurate). Call it naieve if you like, but I don't think there is any ill will here.

i think she wasn't implying ill will. "concern trolling" is pretending to genuinely care about a cause or someone's personal well-being, while actually holding contempt for them.

this is a very good blog post about concern trolling:

http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/2012/ ... -trolling/

(i mean, someone did ask why it matters if people are fat, and he admitted his reasons are monetary. that does not equal true concern)

So the person on the spectrum shouldn't try to make a positive change, they shouldn't bother? They should just blame factors or circumstances because they can never be perfect? Maybe people on the spectrum can never be as strong in that area as people that aren't on the spectrum but if they don't challenge themselves and try through willpower and understanding, they will never know.

I have challenged myself and other posters have also challenged themselves and that's good because it pushes us to grow and find methods to counter and improve on aspects of being on the spectrum that can hinder us. It has enabled us to grow and to share our experiences so that we learn from each other through this forum.

I have a much greater understanding of who I am and an acceptance towards myself, I have a better outlook. Today I feel confident in myself and I have a date with a redhead that I find attractive.

It's about instilling people with the hope and faith that it's never too late with to better ourselves no matter where we have been or whatever struggles and imperfections we face, it's never too late to change, to grow, to challenge ourselves and to understand.

^^^very good point, but who are YOU to choose someone's challenges for them? not you specifically, but any person. if someone wants diet advice, they will ask for it (probably in another thread). people didn't ask for opinions about what they think fat people should be doing with their lives.

You may think that but go through my post history and you will see posts and posts of me giving positive advice for people. You may not like it but I know what it means to struggle and my only goal is that we challenge ourselves and grow as people. No we're not always going to agree on certain perspectives but that's a case of life, you said yourself that people shouldn't expect unanimous positivity.

These forum has done a lot for me in understanding and helping me adapt the right attitude and as I have stated I am trying to emphasize and understand when I don't understand something, would you rather that I don't get involved in these discussions in an attempt to emphasize? if that makes me a bad person in your opinion, that's up to you. It's funny how you are so quick to jump at any chance to discredit or make out I have some utter contempt in a subtle manner.

right
and there are at least 3 commenters on this thread who felt the need to share their "heath advice", I didn't mean to imply it was just Wolfheart, though clearly it is a pet cause (which a lot of us have, this one just doesn't fit here)

my issue is really that it's irrelevant, inflammatory, and just so gosh darn repetitive.

Is there a heath and wellness sub or anything like that on WP?


This thread wasn't even about physical attractiveness!!

Because if we aren't challenged, what will challenge us when we are in a negative mindset? It's up to us as people to challenge each other, encourage each other and to grow.

nobody is a "bad person" to me.

did you read the blog? did it help you to understand how insisting fat people are unhealthy and that they cost money and that they should strive to lose weight is not helpful?

it IS helpful to give weight loss advice to people who are asking for help to lose weight. but this is an emotionally-charged thread where people are already feeling judged and uncomfortable.

do you know how i lost 90lb? i learned to love my body the way it was when i was morbidly obese. i learned to truly appreciate and care for myself. i saw the positives in every pound and every jiggle, and i came to think of myself as a truly worthwhile human being, on both the inside AND the outside. i understood that i could be attractive just the way i was.

and something clicked in my head. for so long, i had observed people hating on themselves and each other, and they had one failed diet after another. when people hate themselves, they often don't want to bother caring for themselves or eating healthy foods. i mean, why bother if you feel yourself to be a waste of skin?

but when i truly embraced myself in all my fatness, it was like i understood what i wanted for myself and for my future. i wasn't a lucky obese person - i was an unhealthy one. and finally i was able to change that.

however, when it is implied that there is something wrong with obese people... in most cases it doesn't help them. in fact, in many cases it hurts them. it feeds their self-hate. they have a mirror. they know about their own health, inside and out. they don't benefit from having someone on the internet tell them that they are essentially a waste of money. if they want to lose weight, they will come to you, or they will ask for advice, or they will just go and do it.

Thank you, I am glad that you do find my posts to be positive. If anything, it seems that a certain group on this forum don't want the males on the spectrum to improve themselves as far as I am concerned. One poster made a thread that increased his chances with the opposite sex and something that would help other males to do the same and his method was discredited by certain posters so I don't know what's going on there.

I know that I personally come here to learn and to grow, I don't know what motivates other people to come here but I'm sure many people have the mutual and common goal of wanting to grow in some way. If I am challenged, I will accept it and try to take away something positive from it.