Finally going to see a doctor, I hope!

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I am pretty sure I am in the spectrum, but have never managed to nail a diagnosis. The closest I got was PDD NOS and when I changed doctors when I moved to LA state from California, they dropped it and said that I perhaps have depression issues. I got disheartened and stopped looking for professional help. That was two years ago and I am finding it hard again to relate not only socially, but even in interactions with tasks that only involve me.

Last week my roomates and I went to the store to buy a new outdoor gazebo. It came in this duffel-bag contraption with wheels. The sound it made while being dragged was so unbearable to me I actually had a meltdown in public. I seldom have outbursts like that and when I do, i tend to have time to go to the restroom and hide in a stall and hyperventilate in private. This time I didn't. I just began to cry on my friend's shoulder. The sound was horrible. She bought me a new sketchpad and dark chocolate because she thought my cycle had me super sensitive. I left it at that because I have brought up autism to them before and they keep telling me that i should be less self-centered and not find crutches for myself.

A few days after that we met up with an old friend. He has been pretty messed up for a few years but is doing much better now and got around to talking to us about a therapist he is seeing. He said he was a great doctor and I asked him to see if he had room to see another patient. At first I didn't want to, not really. Been too hurt by doctors disregarding me all the time and saying I do act below average intelligence level, when I am a great student and very smart, just really different. But, I told my roomate this morning I am willing to see this guy. I am hopeful to pin a diagnosis at last. I think it would at least help me find autism help in the area.

I am a worn out from trying to deal with me on my own.

Any advice out there of what I should say or bring with me if i get to see the doc? I don't want to be pushy or lead on, but I know I can be very . . . determined (obsessed maybe?).

All I can say is good luck! I am also in the process of seeing a psych doctor on the advice of extensive counceling

I really like your quote.