Really Rough Sparring Session....

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...So last week, we did really heavy kickboxing/mma sparring at my gym, alot heavier than we usually do. I was wearing all of the protective gear, but I stepped in with some bigger and alot more experienced guys and I took alot of head shots.

I don't how many times I was hit..........I blocked some, but I took at least 15-25 clean unblocked punches that just threw me around and hit me with "oh s**t......" dizzy feeling. You know those punches where you are knocked around. I always got back to fighting stance though, I didn't get berbick'd.

Afterwords it just kind of felt like what the f**k seriously? Did that really happen? I have never done anything like that before. I was definitely shook up.

I just don't know a small part of me wanted to feel proud of myself, that I had stepped in taken the punishment from the bigger stronger guys (the top guys at the gym). They weren't going their hardest, holding back, I just happened to get caught alot more than I wanted. Part of me wants to feel proud and I definitely have a new perspective of fighting from getting hit like that but...

...I mostly just feel foolish and stupid. I just can't believe I got beat up like that what the f**k was I doing? I'm really annoyed that I didn't block some of those punches. Im disappointed at myself for not having that killer instinct, that fighting instinct, and just being mauled in front of everyone. I was hit alot more than was necessary just because once someone bigger than me is hitting me with punches, I crumble. Why am I doing any of this?

I just don't know how to explain but alot of this doesn't even have to do with being beat up, but after it was all over I'm still just this lonely depressed guy going home by myself. If it wasn't like that, then maybe I would feel different. If I had taken care of those areas of my life, maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way. Instead fighting is just this outlet of mine that I am into because I like it, but also because I don't have many outlets at all. But for these other guys, this is their life, and there is no turning back or quitting or getting tired even if you are completely winded.

I was hoping somebody with more experience than me could give their opinion

Just be careful.

we aren't doing any elbows or knees to the head or serious kicks to the head. Just punches to the head and kicks to the body.

But still I got hit enough times.

If it werent for the 16oz gloves and the headgear, I would have definitely been KOed

The bigger guys... Are they cocky? Do they have a tendency to be too rough for some people, do they know they could easily take advantage of you and hurt you? If they are really hurting you, to a point where it becomes a serious issue of health or a potential issue if you continued sparring with them, stop sparring with them. Some guys like that, they spar less skilled guys, and treat them really badly, hurting those less fortunate people on purpose too much, because they can... some guys will do that, it is not okay. But the case could just be they are above your level and you were not prepared for it. I've been "rocked" in sparring more than a few times, it's somewhat normal when two people are going a bit hard, especially as you're learning and getting tougher. Whoever you are sparring with should slow down when you get rocked though, and not keep trying to hurt you until you gain back your focus. It's still pretty obvious when someone is much better than you, and they are being too rough for your personal preference. If it feels like it is too much you should spar with people who are more on your level, who will be more easy to deal with, and will not have you seeing stars so easily and so often. You don't want to end up with mental issues, a lot of people have because of how hard they train and get hit. You should work on your defence, it sounds like you need it. Use this experience to better yourself. You know one of your weaknesses now, so work on that, and then maybe one day you can come back and be able to hang with those guys. Perhaps work on head and foot movement too, in case blocking is not going to work.

It sounds like you're getting hit too hard. You said it yourself this is what they do, it's their lives. For you it is not. Train with guys who will not "man handle" but offer you enough of a challenge to keep you improving or at least maintaining. My guess would be if you keep it up with these guys who are capable of easily hurting you and willingly do so, you're going to get worse mentally and physically. Some day you might be able to handle what they give, and give back, maybe not, but you don't want to damage your brain, skull, or chin sparring so it's probably best you not spar with these guys for now. Don't let it get you down though... Training with a broken spirit is an awful thing to do.

I boxed for 5 years bro and I loved every f***ing second of it!! I loved the smell of the leather gloves hitting my nose! Oddly they have a different smell when your hit then when you just smell em. Its a raw smell! I love the butterflies while I'm suiting up! when I know I'm next and when i step in that ring and wait in the corner for the bell to ring! The moment before the first punch is thrown! Getting hit for the first time! Dipping, slipping, dodging.

I was crap when I first started. you only get better by continuing to fight! your jaw will get tougher. you'll get used to the punches! your hands will get super fast! and your body just moves naturally! like I remember a match I was in. This Guy Larry I was up against, hit super hard and just kept coming and coming. he would throw 3 to punch combinations and j would justice slip all of em. I don't know how I would do it but when the time came, it just happened! its because of the training! it just takes over when you have no time to think. its called instincts! you can't start off on top. you gotta start from the bottom and work your way up.

fighting is very hard work!! its no joke! and not for everyone!

I am a loner. that actually helped alot! since I have no frineds. all my time goes into training. 6 hours a day 5 days a week. and constant sparring! I was up to 20 3 minute rounds with a 30 second rest. that's brutal son! but it was an outlet! it made me feel great about my self! I felt like God in that ring and all mg problems went away! I got super naturally high when i was done! my personality would completely change for 3 hours!

unfortunately I broke a rib in a match and have been out of the game ever since!

one thing I don't miss is the awkwardness and tension amongst me and my team mates. the aspergers caused a lot of issues since fighting has a lot of communication involved!

I had a pro fighter at my gym threaten to leave if I didn't. I happened to move to the opposite part of NJ coincidently. but it was every gym I went to I had this sort of problem. I didn't care though. the feeling I got from the time I was training to the time in the ring. to the bed. I was told i would throw punches in mg sleep lol j threw em before I opened the fridge. just everywhere.

I would endure the problem my aspergers was causing for the next 5 years because the feeling fighting gave me was well worth it!

I say continue fighting bro!! It can do nothing but good for you! teach you how to defend yourself! give you disipline! make you freely great and give you a killer body!

I fought at 165.

Well, it gives you some perspective. I don't fight, I have done judo as a kid, but that's different. The closest perspective I got from judo was that I hadn't hit puberty yet and all the people in my weight class in the one tournament I went to were monsters compared to me. I didn't quit judo after that, though. What made me quit was, my parents just ran out of money, wasn't lack of interest really, though with my tournament loss, when I had to leave judo, it didn't sting me as hard I guess.

I will say this. All sports, are endurance sports. In my two sports, figure skating and weightlifting, figure skating moreso, you see people basically quit at my age, about 20 years old. Me, I'm just getting into it. It seems asinine, and maybe it is, but I like it, and it's fun to me, sure I'd like if possible to be at a high level, but if it doesn't happen, my time spent skating makes me happy. I see these people, who are super high level, and then just quit. I wonder why. Perhaps I'll understand one day. They seem so close, to say, nationals, you know? I know people older than me, though, who do skate on nationals, why? They kept at it. I've thought this, maybe what separates amateurs from professionals is, the professionals kept at it even though it wasn't fun at times. So in your case, you have the perspective now of who a very good fighter is, now you also must think that he went through the same thing as you, likely hundreds or thousands of times before he got where he is today. At the same point, there's people around that can do that to him. It's not really anything personal towards you. Even if they joke about it after or whatever, it's not something inherent to you, killer instinct, blah blah, "natural" talent will certainly get you in the door with things, but to become elite, it's basically determined by hard work you're willing to put in. If you stick with it long enough, you'll see people who are better than you just leave, finding other things to do most likely, and even if you only slowly improve, you'll eventually exceed those people just by persisting.

As far as the mental health issues, well, I can relate to that kinda sentiment, too. I'm kind of...a loser right now. I don't go to college, don't really have a job, and I ice skate and lift weights a lot. That's pretty much my life. No girlfriend. Only see a few friends like once or twice a week, all male and not very "cool" friends doing "cool" things like going to clubs or whatever. My cars are all broken, too. Everything kinda sucks, and my only time I really feel happy is when I'm on the ice, lifting, or hiking (much happiest on the ice, though.) I used to be quite involved with a big social group at my old church, and used to have a lot of "friends" and would "hang out" with people a lot, but it turned out to be something I couldn't really handle, and I found out my NVLD/AS diagnosis I was denying was actually true. So I guess now is a transition period in my life.

I have the same problem as you, though, when I got off the ice and drive home, everything's back to normal again, I have no job, few friends, no girlfriend, wife, etc. I'm basically a "loser" again. But, the ice makes me feel good. Why? I don't know. It feels like flying. It just...feels right. Besides that, though, it's a place in my life where I can show that I am better than the average person at something, a star of sorts I guess. It's a place where you're given some validation, and unlike the "social ladder" your skills don't lie. Either you're skilled or you're not. In some ways, sports are a place where an "Aspie" or other socially deficient person can "make it" as you're judged on your performance in that activity.

With the other areas of your life, though. It depends, sometimes I think I should stop skating or lifting and just be more of a "normal person" again. But, the job and school isn't here yet. The girlfriend or wife isn't either. I tried and failed at all three. But, you know...skating is here and now. I tried going back to school and failed last winter. My financial aid didn't go through. I even entered a Chinese class in the adult ed, and ended up failing at it and dropping out. Jobs, I got two at the insistence of some people, and it didn't work. Girlfriends, not really tried, but the last girl I had strong feelings for got married to someone else. For some reason, though, skating is...working. It makes me feel good, and I'm progressing in it slowly, despite lack of money (and boy figure skating is a rich man's sport) and an age disadvantage. Hell, with my NVLD and visual spatial problems, it's a wonder I can even stand up on the ice, but for some reason...it works. So you gotta ask yourself, is fighting for the most part, despite the struggle, does it "work?" Do you most of the time feel good by doing it? Random "depressions" about it will come and go (where you ask yourself "Why am I doing this, what's the point...,") but...do you like it?

I don't know, most of what I wrote, perhaps I wrote it more for myself, but yeah. Long rambly thing, sorry.

Pondering > It was actually only guy that was raining on me, and he had quite a size advantage. They weren't cocky just very intense trying to toughen up me and another guy up. They weren't beating me up just because they could

Amboxer21 > Thats really cool. Thanks for the encouragement. So you think I should hang in there? My Muay Thai technique punching and kicking and knees clinch have been improving since I started last year, but as far as sparring goes this was my first serious session. All of the other times were very relaxed and cautious and I never got hit consistently like that.

I was very intimidated and nervous fighting guys more experienced and bigger than me. I am glad I manned up and did it though I just wish my defense was better. If I do that again, I want to get noticeably better. As much fun as it is to do martial arts, if I don't improve and end up getting hit like that every week I honestly don't know how long my head is going to last. But I have never been a very academic studious minded person to begin with.

I kind of feel like I have to do this. I feel like its the ultimate test of brawn to be able to fight. I definitely need more brawn, as much as I can. I just don't see how I can get anything in life without it. I never played sports in HS. I am basically a V. It just f*****g sucks. I just need something that really lifts me above everybody else, and not many people do this. I wouldn't mind some weight-lifting too but I would need some serious mentoring for that because I don't want to create muscle imbalances, and I have a feeling I would injure myself more than in sparring.

I'm just not sure if I want to be a fighter. I really want to be an athlete though - if that makes sense. I want to have an athletes body (I am already on the way there).

But I don't have health insurance. Whats the chance of a rib breaking or getting a concussion?

yeah the first one is the scariest lol it gets better! You need to spar guys your size and that have your experience. and occasionally spar the bigger better guys! Lets face it, getting beat up does make you tougher but it definitely isn't fun lol

I never believed in lifting weights during my fighting career. it tightens and bulks you up. being a fighter you wanna be limber! Fast! we'll winded! lifting weights will counter all that!

I would say look into HIIT! Upperbody plyometrics, explosive calesthenics, etc.

IMO, That MMA stuff is brutal! maybe you should try boxing instead! its a completely different environment! its more laid back and you take it at your own pace. you wont get beat up like you will in mma unless you want to lol they match you up with your own class and weight and the gear is more protective! so its a lot safer... until you turn pro!

the head gear is an inch thick. and depending on your weight depends on tthe ounces of the gloves. I used 14 ounce. if I went pro I would have used 10 ounce... possibly 8ounce. alot better than those 4 ounce mma fighters use right?

I've boxed for 5 years and I don't know if I even have what it takes to do mma. its not for everyone. being crazy will help though lol

no health insurance.... you don't collect ssi and receive medicaid?

in the 5 years I fought. I've had 2 broken ribs, a broken finger and wrist, a hair line fracture in my jaw, my knees are bad, lots of sprains, and tons and tons of concussions! sounds fun right lol
but I've seen boxers who never broken a bone in there whole career.

amboxer > We use 16oz boxing gloves/full boxing headgear/ mouthguard/ shin guard + instep/ + cup

Basically we are boxing except there are some kicks and very light knees thrown in as well as grappling. We have more of the mma footwork instead of the boxing footwork, but overall its usually not very far off from boxing.

4-6 oz mma gloves aren't for actual heavy sparring since you could hurt much quicker, no fighter would risk that before a fight. Some guys use them as bag gloves, or light spar where you don't actually connect your punches. I think it is more getting used to them, getting the feel of them for the real fight.

I really have no clue how the whole no health insurance thing works. I know its been changing, but I am not sure.

Were your injuries from actual amateur fights, or from sparring? Or a combo?

It is called full contact sparring for a reason, you are meant to respond under the pressure. They are doing you a favour, if you are only accustomed to point sparring, you aren't going to cope well under pressure or in a full contact situation. You can only build pain tolerance and get rid of that anxiety through full contact sparring.

I'm not sure how useful this will be to you - I'm a girl (really short & light) who does MMA and I've only ever sparred with guys.
I know what you're on about. This sounds like when Relson (my coach at the time) put me through my first few serious sessions with guys who had serious height, weight and reach advantages over me as well as more experience. I went home that day and seriously considered not turning up to the next training session. Very glad I did turn up to the next one though.

This is the point at which most people drop out if they're going to - it's one of those make or break decisions about whether you stay with MMA or not.

When you start seriously sparring rather than just the light stuff, you're going to suck, there's no two ways about it. It becomes a matter of how much you're going to suck. If you stick with it, you will get better. Psychologically it's a difficult time period, because just as you started to get a good feel for it and you think you know what you're doing, is when they step it up again, and you feel like you don't know anything again essentially like you're back to square one.

However - it's also necessary. If your instincts are going to kick in, over the next few sessions is when they will do so. If you are seriously considering quitting, give it another 3 months and if you see absolutely no improvement, then your decision would be justifiable. But quitting because out of emotion now when it happens to be a necessary part of the process won't help you at all. This is exactly what you need now and your coach probably knows it. Doesn't mean it's nice, but you will thank him later.

Sparring against guys like this is the best way to get a lot of growth in a fairly quick time period. Once you start to get used to it, you're not going to be nervous anymore. As difficult as it seems right now, all of these guys will have weaknesses as fighters, you just have to find what theirs is. I often find that most of them go into the it really cocky and quite aggressive. It helps me to hang back and just play defense until I figure out their style and their weakness, at which point I go in and they're not expecting it at all. Sparring is as much psychological as it is physical, so you need to use that to your advantage, make them underestimate you and then take them by surprise, which means you don't have time to be worried or nervous or intimidated, you need to keep focused. Use your frustration from last time as motivation, don't let it cloud your head, but still use it.

Honestly, I don't think of myself as a "fighter" exactly, I just look at it as defending myself, which was why I started MMA in the first place. If you're just in this for athletic reasons, then you have plenty of other options to choose from.

I've had 1 concussion previously, but it was from boxing rather than BJJ, and was from fighting a guy who had a good 10 inches in height and was probably double my weight. In my defense, I knocked him out the next rematch we had.

wolfheart> what training have you done? This is real stuff I am training in, not Tae Kwon Do/Tai Chi/Sashimi

I think I should clarify. I have no doubt I will get better, my main concern is getting rocked like I did that day. If I am getting rocked like that multiple times, that will add up very quickly Im just not sure if its worth it. I got rocked many many times the fight was just beaten out of me and I could barely breath and I didnt have an ounce of stamina left. Thats how many clean blows struck me. Every shot knocked me off balance with a dizzy head. Maybe that is a good thing.

I am just trying to figure out if that is worth it. I can take the pain. The pain is nothing, I just don't want to land a fat hospital bill or not remember my own name a few years from now. That is my concern.

I have gotten hit hard before, but this was shot after shot after shot after shot, I just felt like a fool for putting myself through that and getting beat up in front of everyone. I wanted to feel proud of myself, but for some reason i dont.

Even in light sparring I have gotten kicked very hard in the ribs before. I have gotten punched hard in the kidney, my heart, and even my groin several times (not too bad thank god). I just had brush it off.

Kjas > you knocked out a guy?

wolfheart> what training have you done? This is real stuff I am training in, not Tae Kwon Do/Tai Chi/Sashimi

I think I should clarify. I have no doubt I will get better, my main concern is getting rocked like I did that day. If I am getting rocked like that multiple times, that will add up very quickly Im just not sure if its worth it. I got rocked many many times the fight was just beaten out of me and I could barely breath and I didnt have an ounce of stamina left. Thats how many clean blows struck me. Every shot knocked me off balance with a dizzy head. Maybe that is a good thing.

I am just trying to figure out if that is worth it. I can take the pain. The pain is nothing, I just don't want to land a fat hospital bill or not remember my own name a few years from now. That is my concern.

I have gotten hit hard before, but this was shot after shot after shot after shot, I just felt like a fool for putting myself through that and getting beat up in front of everyone. I wanted to feel proud of myself, but for some reason i dont.

Even in light sparring I have gotten kicked very hard in the ribs before. I have gotten punched hard in the kidney, my heart, and even my groin several times (not too bad thank god). I just had brush it off.

Kjas > you knocked out a guy?

wolfheart> what training have you done? This is real stuff I am training in, not Tae Kwon Do/Tai Chi/Sashimi

I think I should clarify. I have no doubt I will get better, my main concern is getting rocked like I did that day. If I am getting rocked like that multiple times, that will add up very quickly Im just not sure if its worth it. I got rocked many many times the fight was just beaten out of me and I could barely breath and I didnt have an ounce of stamina left. Thats how many clean blows struck me. Every shot knocked me off balance with a dizzy head. Maybe that is a good thing.

I am just trying to figure out if that is worth it. I can take the pain. The pain is nothing, I just don't want to land a fat hospital bill or not remember my own name a few years from now. That is my concern.

I have gotten hit hard before, but this was shot after shot after shot after shot, I just felt like a fool for putting myself through that and getting beat up in front of everyone. I wanted to feel proud of myself, but for some reason i dont.

Even in light sparring I have gotten kicked very hard in the ribs before. I have gotten punched hard in the kidney, my heart, and even my groin several times (not too bad thank god). I just had brush it off.

Kjas > you knocked out a guy?

Since I do alot of full-contact and bare-knuckle sparring, I can tell you that when you amp up the intensity, you should take care and make sure that you do not step up against someone who is constantly dominating you. He will not learn something out if (other than he is better than you, something he might already have known, anyways), and you only learn how to take a beating. Might be a useful skill to develope, but should not be the idea behind an intense training session. If you are concerened about getting paired up with someone who is alot stronger, faster and skilled than you, you should talk to the instructor in charge and voice your issues. In the long run, it alienates people from coming to training, and rightfully so.
Most people tend to forget sometimes that it is training, not competition. In a competition, you have - within reason - no right to complain about your opponent being stronger or more skilled than you. That's what you came for - to match your assets against your opponents and to see who prevails. In training, this is not the case. You came to improve your assets. And if something prevents improvement, the session is futile. In my dojo (Kyokushin Karate), when we do regular sparring, my teacher always stresses that there is no use in beating the living crap out of each other, as we still want to be able to go to work the next day... or come to another training session, in that matter. If we decide to go all out, we match people up roughly by experience, skill and endurance.

It depends, especially because you're still very new to this, only having been in it for a year.

If this keeps happening in the next few training sessions (next 2 or 3) and you seriously feel like you are making no headway, ask them to give you someone who is closer to your level of experience.

Getting smacked around is only a problem if you're not improving from it. If that's the case, ask them to pair you with someone else.

Until you know one way or the other (if you aren't improving), start focusing on your basics - because it sounds like that is why you're struggling right now. Footwork and weight distribution is everything and can be the difference between the hit making you dizzy or only just connecting, so focus on things like that. Same goes for most defensive stuff. Try and keep out of trouble before you go looking for it yourself. If he wants to hit you, at least make him work for it. If you frustrate him enough by managing to stay out of his reach, he may do something stupid and then you'll be in with a chance.

I did, although that wasn't the only time it's happened. One perfectly timed uppercut to his jaw with all my weight behind it was all it took. Admittedly, if the blow hadn't at least made him dizzy, I would have been in trouble because I would have been within his reach and I wouldn't have been able to get away quickly enough, which meant I would have been screwed. It was a calculated risk.