Limited diet & Food in general

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I'm new here and maybe I just haven't found it yet but there doesn't seem to be much discussion around food and eating, which can be a very social event. Drinking coffee or tea, alcohol, vegetables... are these challenges?

I've read a little bit about flavors and textures being uncomfortable to a person with AS but what do you do to maintain a healthy diet anyway? My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and his diet is very restricted (self-restricted). I would cook for us more often, but there are only 3 or 4 things I know he'll eat without a tiny bit of a fuss. Watching him pick at his vegetables makes me feel like his mother and it also makes me feel like all my hard work was wasted. He's a little embarrassed about it, I can tell, so I hate to press the issue, but if it were up to him he'd eat pasta and marinara from a jar everyday. I just don't want us to eat two different meals every night. :/

Has anyone else experienced this self-restricted diet thing?

Who knows? Maybe you'll get used to eating spaghetti with marina sauce every day.

My diet is quite restricted and it is one of the things that makes socialising even more stressful. My boyfriend has various food allergies and I have my own difficulties so we eat different meals every night. I cook mine and he cooks his - it's always worked for us even though that is not the way it is normally done.

I can (and do) eat the same things day after day, the way I eat now is probably the most varied it has ever been. I eat the same meals for breakfast and lunch (porridge or cereal and then soup) every day and then I eat chicken twice a week (two consecutive nights), pasta with tomato twice a week (consecutive nights), cauliflower cheese on one night, jacket potato on one night and boiled veg on another. A lot of my 'meals' are really side dishes that I eat as a main meal. I also eat some fruit too and I usually manage to get the recommend 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. I find it almost impossible to eat foods I'm unfamiliar with. When I go to my future mother in law's for Sunday lunch I can only manage to eat the potatoes. Dining out is a nightmare and I simply refuse dinner invitations to people's homes because it is not worth the stress and embarrassment.

I don't know what the problem is, some foods and food combinations are just 'wrong' in my mind. Texture is also quite important from a sensory point of view and I generally like quite bland foods. If I could wave a magic wand and change it I would, but I have tried very hard to try new things and when I do I become very anxious and upset.

Eating can be a challenge for people with sensory issues. But for others it could be a matter of choice.

I am NT married to an Aspie. When we just got married we had big issues with the food. He had a list of things he would not eat. Back then we did not know he was Aspie. I thought he was just bad-mannered (which he was). And he does not cook. So we had a big conversation. I told him I was not going to cook for two and he had to eat what he was served (yes, the same way I talk to our kid now). At the beginning it was a little difficult for him and he complained a lot, but after a while he discovered he liked a lot of food he thought he didnt like. Now he eats almost anything, is open to trying new food, and he thanks me for changing his way of eating.

I am also training our Aspie daughter, who is 12 years-old. She MUST eat fruits and veggies. She MUST eat what she is served. And she MUST try new food. When I serve her something new and she does not like it, she MUST eat it (must of it, at least), but I wont serve that to her again. By doing that she is now more open to try new food (not that much, but more than before), and once in a while we find new meals to add to her diet.

Hope it helps somehow.

The strange thing is I used to be the type of person who would write someone off if they had a limited diet like this. I was raised to eat what was put in front of me. And eventually, I learned to like just about everything. Admittedly, I would not understand how any adult could put cheese sauce on a vegetable. Now, I'm trying to be less insulting about the whole thing..

Thanks. That helps to have confirmation about the 'wrong' feeling in your mind. If I could understand it better, I think I wouldn't have so much of a problem. So far our repertoire consists of homemade pasta sauce (I sneak in all these vegetables by blending it in a blender while it's in the middle of cooking), chicken, peas & potatoes (a family dish my mother used to prepare), a fry (like irish breakfast), fish with potatoes or rice.

I have gotten him to eat things he wouldn't have otherwise eaten, like shredded brussels sprouts sautéed with bacon. Ok, well bacon makes lots of things taste better, but I'm not going to make/eat every day.

I guess I just want to know what he's going through when he gets a little moody from eating what I put in front of him. One half of me feels terrible for acting like a naggy girlfriend. The other half doesn't want (both of us) to gain weight from eating the same starchy meal every night.

I think a lot of people feel that way. When people encounter my eating they tend to presume that my parents were too permissive, but I can assure you that was not the case. My sister eats almost everything and enjoys trying new foods and cuisines from all around the world. People say 'Oh, if there was nothing else you would eat that' but the truth is that I wouldn't. I've gone two days without food because there was nothing I could eat, that was physically quite painful but not painful enough to make me eat. I've eaten only cereal for two weeks when there was nothing else available.



I wish I could explain it to you better, but it's not something I've ever tried to explain fully. My Mother to her credit 'got' it very quickly, she knew there was something wrong with me. My boyfriend has always just accepted it as one of my quirks, I think that because of his allergies he was just relieved to meet a woman who didn't expect to be wined and dined!



I think adding in the vegetables is a good idea. There is a book I've seen about how to trick kids into eating vegetables, perhaps that might be worth a look for you. I was hoping I could trick myself with it. I've slowly managed to broaden my repertoire my finding different combinations of the ingredients I'm comfortable with. So I am OK with tomatoes, cheese as well as bread and pasta - so that means I can eat margherita pizza, pasta with tomato and cheese, cheese and tomato sandwiches etc. I'm slowly trying to combine vegetables I am comfortable with to build more meals. Perhaps you could start off by making small variations to the meals your partner is comfortable with.

Your partner seems to be a lot more successful at trying new things than I am, if I was presented with something new I would probably begin to shake, cry and eventually vomit. After the day I vomited up at the table while everyone was eating, my family gave up the idea of me trying new things. I tried a new soup recently and I found that if I rocked and tapped and said 'It's OK' over and over that I managed - but quite frankly that is a little disturbing for others to watch.

Perhaps you could make a deal where one night a week you try something new, and then cook is favourite meal the next night. It's also OK for you to make what you want, and ask him to cook his own. You shouldn't sacrifice your healthy diet because of his difficulties. This may sound blunt but it is his problem, not yours and so he should take a bit of responsibility for it.

I am probably the second fussiest eater in the world (until I met someone who was worse than me). To say it's held me back would be an understatement. I wasn't able to pursue employment in a field because they frequently ate out and it was essentially mandatory to join in. Even at work many people assume I'm just stuck up or spoiled rotten which isn't the case at all: in fact it causes me a great deal of embarrassment. I hate being unable to join a group at most restaurants or at least am bothered greatly by the smells and that makes me very uncomfortable (Italian is the worst: I can't understand how anyone can ruin Spaghetti by putting anything on it. Yuck!). It sucks being able to eat almost no fruit or vegetables and I'm fully aware it's a very unhealthy way to live.

My parents always advised me to choke down some 'strange' food at a social event but they are only now figuring out that even if my life depended on it, I will become very ill just at the very sight of most (not all) new foods. If I do manage to eat a bit it quickly comes out one of two ways. I have tried a few new things but basically I have been forced to accept I have severe restrictions on what I can eat. It's only in the past few months that it's okay to explain to people why I can't eat very much and to ask for accommodations not lectures.

As a child, I lived in a situation where food and money was very scarce and I was smacked with a belt if I didn't eat what was on my plate no matter how horrible. I learnt to just scoff down all food. Now as an adult, I have discovered i don't have to and I have since turned into the fussiest eater in the world. I actually gag now when i try to eat food that is a no no for me. Currently my diet is so very restricted. I can eat most vegies but hate them with sauces of any kind except a few certain ones. Fruit is something i will never be able to eat unless cooked into a desert or main meal and then only certain fruits. My daughter eats all food put in front of her but my son is as fussy as i am. I try to just go with his food limitations and still give him a healthy diet although quite restricted.

I don't have many food sensitivities and can eat most things. However I normally default to pretty much the same thing day after day, year after year. I know I should have more variety but I just can't bring myself to actually do anything about it. When I lived with my mother we ended up cooking separate meals.

I only hope not to be pigeon holed into the one who is responsible for meals (food beyond pasta and marinara). I don't mind cooking everyone once in a while. But should this responsibility be shared if I'm the only one who cares that we eat diverse meals?

Thanks. Hearing all these comments helps a lot and is quite informative. Shame there's no one answer otherwise we could collectively write a recipe book and make a small fortune..

I follow what to most people is a severely-restricted diet (vegetables and nut milks, essentially)
but it's due to ethics combined with a very slow metabolism,
not really "pickiness".

I have taste hyposensitivity, so, ethics and calories + carbohydrate content aside,
I'm really happy with pretty much anything, so long as it's smothered in a condiment like yellow mustard or vinegar or hot sauce. Mustard covered cauliflower is the same meal to me as mustard covered broccoli, or mustard covered cucumber.

And while I would never eat pasta or marinara sauce, I can empathize with your beau's simplicity:
I've lived months at a time eating the same meal every day.
Because I like it.

My diet is pretty much based off texture and I love spice and onion. My friends sometimes make faces at me, because I add extra onion to anything I can if its fresh. It crunches so awesome in sandwiches and it helps me overcome the sponginess of the bread. I tend to burn my toast for extra crunch. When we go out to eat I prefer buffets, because the selection will have stuff I want to eat like taco shells and crispy lettuce.

If I had it my way all the time I would eat toast for breakfast and spaghetti all day long. ground beef with sauce and noodles, mixed together until the sauce dries on the food. I do not like overly saucy food. But I will eat write rice with ketchup.

Things I eat that are healthy are vegetables that crunch if they are fresh like celery, lettuce and carrots I will eat green apples and pears. I like rice, noodles (I will eat ramen, if all the water is drained out before flavor packet).

If I eat something mushy it can't have a different consistency or it makes me want to throw up. Flavor is never an issue as much as consistency.

As for medical reasons I am severely lactose intolerant and allergic to artificial cherry products, I break out if i drink cherry coke, or have those cherries that come on a jar, etc, but I am not allergic to red 40 because i can eat hot cheetos.

I'm very awkward when it comes to eating and I avoid all eating out or eating in front of people. I hate to feel like I'm beng watched when I eat and I don't like to talk when I eat so I'm rubbish company anyway. I'm allergic to dairy products and have been a strict vegetarian since I was about 7 so choices are limited anyway. I find any foods that are slimy or soggy make me nauseous and I can't eat them - like cooked mushrooms, courgette, aubergine, but I love raw mushrooms. I also hate foods touching on the plate and eat each item separately, which I know is weird, hence why I don't like company when I eat. I'm also fond of plastic cutlery as I hate metal on my teeth, and metal tastes nasty

I'm happy to eat the same foods for months at a time as it is easy and requires no planning, and I'm quite limited anyway, but my choices aren't necessarily the healthiest. Despite the poor diet, I don't seem to be malnourished or lacking in any essential vitamins or minerals and I don't supplement my diet, so I don't think a restrictive diet is necessarily a terrible thing if it removes stress from your day and your health doesn't suffer. But I totally agree it must be a nightmare to live with someone like me. I happily cook all kinds of things for my son though and it doesn't bother me to cook two separate meals. I think it would really drive me crazy if someone tried to make me change the way I eat though, especially if there is no health reason

So, what's it like if you are forced into eating something you don't want? Do you step into the water slowly or do a cannonball? Any success stories with trying to expand your 'flavor vocabulary'?

I surprised myself by able to eat almost anything at a Chinese restaurant. Unfortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule. I had a little blowup with my family and explained to them that my fussiness is a source of embarrassment, not pride and I hate the fact that my throat will practically close over at the sight of any unfamiliar food. The only reason I accepted a recent invitation to a restaurant is so I can finally get comfortable with meeting and talking to women and in that case, it was successful despite my awkward eating habits.

What's involved with being "forced" into eating something?
To me, the word means literal, gun-to-head, pain of injury or death...

I love trying new foods, so long as they don't contain animal products and aren't high-calorie.