12 Dec 2015, 5:09 pm
It's Sat. , I wasn't on WP or online at all the last 3 days , not Wed-Fri .
This was at least in part because of these HORRIBLE 
problems with my walking I have had ! 
Basically , these last days I was afflicted with , much of the time , when I was outside of the shelter and walking for myself , carrying a couple bags , only being able to walk a few steps - 12 ??? 16 ?? - before I had to at least stop and rrest against a wall , or sit down & rest up (It being hard to get back up then .) .
I had some other horrible thing/s happen to me , then , that I won't go into now .
This didn't really afflict me in the shelter , as I did very little walking at length (And in fact spend much much of my time in my bunk .) , and I semi-suspect the medical authorities didn't completely believe me ~ But it DID happen .
Last night (Friday) , I arranged to go to the ER again , after being slightly touched up I wasn't admitted , I was sent back to the shelter .
Today I went out again and it didn't affect me so much , I believe at least partly because I was now decked out in my full frame metal backpack primarily , as I've said before it seems that when I'm " suited out/corseted " like that my body hurts less ~ Though maybe it might be doing something bad to me in the long run ~ 
I still had the tiredness/exaustion , though .
12 Dec 2015, 7:40 pm
...In the problems of the last few days at times I had that " heart attack feel " of a pulled muscle/whatever on either the right or the left side of my breast .
Now , earlier this afternoon , after typing what I typed on WP earlier to-day , " letting it out " stuff ~ I then moved on to more " manic , fun " stuff , on my Facebook , where I am totally essentially happy talk-ish , not talking about being homeless or crippled - Mytime ran out fairly suddenly , in the middle of something , and , it was like I had been unplugged ~ I had that " heart attack feel " on my right side , I first had to lie down on the sidewalk of the Tenderloin outside in some sun , and then , self-medicate with $1.50 worth of Little Debbie sweets/cheap crap orange soda pop/red Doritos ~ maybe not too good for me , but , it DID rather unwrap me/get my going/reduce the HA feel .
12 Dec 2015, 7:49 pm
...In more of the physical problems of the last few days , I had these --- spasms?? flashes?? --- of coldness in my arms/torso , which led to shaking in my arms/hands , having it hard to grip things .
13 Dec 2015, 6:27 pm
...To-day (Sun.) , my difficulty walking oncee I'm out of the shelter and am going downhill to lunch/the library/nicer air continued , though I only carried a free-swinging , fairly light , bag .
No backpack or heavier bag this time .
However , I still had the " had to rest after so many steps " problem , if maybe not as many this time .
18 Dec 2015, 8:26 pm
...I had come back here to San Francisco with hopes , partly , of going to City College of San Francisco , as a first step to the " real " going to college (Like , I admit it , I didn't get when I was 1/3 this age and yearn for to have had so ) experience somewhere else ~ But , that's not looking real likely ~ Maybe just being an old man in the Tenderloin waiting to die , perhaps after being thrown off here , is all I can hope for .
