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The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Nov 2018, 4:36 am

Long story short, I've been feeling my neck get slimmer, less toned and weaker over the past year, and the orbiting muscles around my eyes feel weaker also. I've experienced other things but I think I know how to tackle those ones. I was self-conscious about my body and face, so I manipulated my body in ways that in hindsight made things worse and I believe has lead to what I'm experiencing now with my neck and eye muscles. I've also noticed that these areas have become weaker when I've been, and seemingly as a result of smoking pot, or drinking alcohol to the point where I'm properly drunk.

I've talked to my doctor about these things and all he does is feel the area, tell me that there's no problem with it and recommend anti-psychotics as he seems to think my problems are mental in origin just because I've come to him about depression in the past.

If I thought there was any chance that it was a body dysmorphia situation or simply a misperception on my part, I'd oblige that perspective, but the fact of the matter is since this all started I've monitored my body via physical touch to check for changes, and I have noticed the progression of the weakness/looseness. I can understand why my doctor might believe I'm experiencing body dysmorphia since i say the problems seem to get worse when drunk or stoned, but even long after I'm sober again, my perception doesn't change about alcohol and weed making the areas worse, I'm just less anxious about it. The problem is the doctor doesn't have the same point of reference that I do. I notice that my neck and eye muscles feel different now but how can he know that too when he doesn't know what they felt like to start with?

I know I should probably just get another doctor but the idea of having to go through that process doesn't sound fun to me. Not to mention I'd need to find one who bulk bills and who's local which makes it harder. I'd just prefer my doctor treat the real problems, or refer me to someone who can.

I wouldnt have stopped smoking pot unless I was positive it was causing me these kinds of problems, and even when I knew it was I kept smoking anyway against my better judgement all because my doctor says there are no problems and because medical professionals aren't able or willing to acknowledge them, I have no way of fixing them, which means no getting drunk or stoned for an indefinite amount of time, which absolutely sucks when I already have reasons to be depressed.

If I can't sort out my eye muscles and my neck there is a 100% chance that I will one day just be over it all and take my own life. I don't want it to come to that but the quality of life I'm experiencing while having these problems go unchecked just isn't good enough for me to want to continue living or have any sort of hope for the future. If I can fix these things I see my life heading in a very positive direction but if I can't, I have no hope of ever being truly happy.



uniqueUsername
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17 Nov 2018, 4:51 am

For a long time i thought alcohol was a relief, my only relief, from depression and anxiety. I am talking years here. Maybe 10. I do not feel like sharing the whole story but, there was even a point where i needed help quitting alcohol.

Dealing with life and especially depression, is still difficult ofcourse, but a lot easier aswell. Alcohol actually makes you depressed. I feel a lot stronger now i am sober.

As for weed, it gave me the same thoughts you are experiencing now.

Not saying it is all on you, but these substances are really not what you need. I mean that in the best way possible, not trying to lecture.



The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Nov 2018, 5:01 am

uniqueUsername wrote:
For a long time i thought alcohol was a relief, my only relief, from depression and anxiety. I am talking years here. Maybe 10. I do not feel like sharing the whole story but, there was even a point where i needed help quitting alcohol.

Dealing with life and especially depression, is still difficult ofcourse, but a lot easier aswell. Alcohol actually makes you depressed. I feel a lot stronger now i am sober.

As for weed, it gave me the same thoughts you are experiencing now.

Not saying it is all on you, but these substances are really not what you need. I mean that in the best way possible, not trying to lecture.

There are negative effects if not done in moderation sure, but the fact of the matter is these substances have contributed to causing these negative changes in my body. I dont actually drink alcohol much but I had increased slightly since not smoking. If you share the doctor's belief that I've had no changes in body functionality and I'm just imagining it, I have as little respect for your opinion as I do the doctor's. I was sober for four months and still noticed these body changes happening, but at a slower rate. My evaluation of my body is neither impacted by substances nor my depression. It is what it is and I'm tired of having to bend over backwards to justify it to people who aren't living in my shoes and don't have a clue what I'm experiencing.



uniqueUsername
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17 Nov 2018, 5:24 am

I am just responding to what i read. It is not much, and ofcourse i don't know your entire situation. How can i?
My point just was, cutting substance use is the way to start. If you say it is not that much, ok then. I believe you. Already said what i wanted to say about that.

Maybe you can try another doctor? Surely that must be an option. See what he or she says. They are just humans too, and yes sometimes they are not objective enough.



The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Nov 2018, 5:38 am

uniqueUsername wrote:
I am just responding to what i read. It is not much, and ofcourse i don't know your entire situation. How can i?
My point just was, cutting substance use is the way to start. If you say it is not that much, ok then. I believe you. Already said what i wanted to say about that.

Maybe you can try another doctor? Surely that must be an option. See what he or she says. They are just humans too, and yes sometimes they are not objective enough.

Yeah like I said it might be hard for them to see that there's a problem when they don't have the same point of comparison that I do. Sorry for snapping a bit, it's just that I've had to defend myself from others' doubt about the problems I'm having whenever I try to get them fixed and it's taking a toll on me mentally, which is frustrating because then the doctor sees that and can't see the real problem and then assumes the whole thing is mental. I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday and if he doesn't identify that the problems I'm having are physical and do exist then I will be terminating my relationship with him and seeking out another doctor. There's no point in having a doctor who is unable or unwilling to identify the real issues. All that does is give me more stress. Only thing is I'm not going to be particularly enthused about having to build up a new relationship with a new doctor, but better to go through that process than have my issues unsolved. They're completely wrecking my quality of life, which, again is why I'm so sensitive when people doubt me.

And yeah I haven't smoked weed in like three weeks and prior to that it was a daily habit. Alcohol I only have on weekends generally but I only see myself drinking lightly to finish up what little rum I have left until I get my issues resolved.



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17 Nov 2018, 7:11 pm

Have you done any neck stabilizer exercises?

Image

You can do this exercise in sets 3 sets of 10 in each direction a day, forward, backward and side to side. Just push your neck away from the band for a few seconds at a time or you can just hold it continuously for say 30 seconds at a time. That should fix any issue with neck muscles. I don't know of any way to fix eye muscles though.

I have seen many many doctors over the years but I don't think this is an issue that you are going to find a doctor is going to do anything. If you went to physical therapy they would simply have you do exercises like this. There isnt anything your doctor can do to address this issue and I think finding another doctor over this is a waste of time.


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17 Nov 2018, 8:08 pm

Noca wrote:
Have you done any neck stabilizer exercises?

Image

You can do this exercise in sets 3 sets of 10 in each direction a day, forward, backward and side to side. Just push your neck away from the band for a few seconds at a time or you can just hold it continuously for say 30 seconds at a time. That should fix any issue with neck muscles. I don't know of any way to fix eye muscles though.

I have seen many many doctors over the years but I don't think this is an issue that you are going to find a doctor is going to do anything. If you went to physical therapy they would simply have you do exercises like this. There isnt anything your doctor can do to address this issue and I think finding another doctor over this is a waste of time.

I've looked into neck exercises. I'm not 100% sure that it's just a muscle problem with the neck and I guess I'd like to know definitively what's going on before I start trying to fix it myself. Been there, done that.

I've talked to my physio about the eye muscles but physios only work with from the neck down so no luck there.

I don't expect the doctor to fix the problems on the spot, but even if they can't, it'd be nice to be referred to someone who can. To set the process in motion. I feel far too restricted in what I can do not even being able to drink alcohol, and I'm not going to just live with it. If my problems can't be fixed I am going to have to kill myself. I refuse to live like this so the options are change or death.



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27 Nov 2018, 2:16 am

Find a new doctor


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AnneOleson
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28 Nov 2018, 10:31 pm

Do you have any photos of yourself from before your neck started getting slimmer that you could show your doctor for comparison?



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28 Nov 2018, 11:56 pm

I would go to another doctor. Perhaps muscle weakness could be a sign of a larger problem. I've heard that people who lose muscle strength for unknown reasons could have M.S. I would think you'd want to rule things like that out.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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29 Nov 2018, 12:07 am

AnneOleson wrote:
Do you have any photos of yourself from before your neck started getting slimmer that you could show your doctor for comparison?

Maybe, but I've also gained 30kg since then so they'll just say that's why things are different.



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24 Dec 2018, 9:35 pm

First stop the weed, second keep the drinking to occasional light to moderate, or none at all. Then change doctors.Tell your doctor that you may be suffering from a wry neck. This is a real condition, and some docs do know about it. If yours doesn't he/she can at least look into it, and see if any docs in your area are qualified to treat it, and yes, there are treatments for it. Sometimes it's caused by muscle weakness, sometimes by neck arthritis, and sometimes there is no obvious cause.

Hope this helps.


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09 Jan 2019, 7:19 am

Find another doctor. And if s/he doesn't listen to you either, find another one. Until you find the right one.



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18 Jan 2019, 5:53 am

I fully agree that you should change the doctor you are visiting. With such problems and diagnostics, it is important to feel comfortable with the doctor and build trusting relationships. So if this does not happen, it's time for a change.



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18 Jan 2019, 6:55 am

Is there a teaching hospital you could go to? Often they are very inexpensive and may be a good way to get something unusual diagnosed. especially if you don't mind being seen by a lot of people.