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Joined: 10 Sep 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 22
Location: Michigan

29 Jul 2020, 5:20 am

Ok, so my friend is having an issue with anger, and i cant relate, so maybe you guys have some advice.

When he gets mad, he feels like punching things, and when i told him to try punching, like, a pillow, he said that it doesn't give the same kind of satisfaction.

So my theory is, is he is covering up his emotional pain with physical pain, and that helps get his mind off of it becasuse that emotion is so intense.

With me, I cry when i get mad, and that helps... but thats not an option for him.

What are some healthier ways of releasing that anger without physically hitting things?

Thanks :3

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Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,140
Location: Poland

29 Jul 2020, 5:45 am

I suspect it's individual but maybe all he needs is hitting things safely.
My husband did make some holes in walls that he later meticulously repaired.
I did reap old linen into pieces.
In some previous discussion, Fnord described a room on one of the ships he served, full of old furniture and things like that, for the very purpose of demolishing them safely, without disturbing the rest of the ship.
So I think there is some instinct of destroying in some of us and the point is to release it safely.

Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.


Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,533

29 Jul 2020, 5:59 am

See I thought walking away from an argument was a correct way of dealing with it but mum said that's bad and criticised my stepdad for doing it.
Idk who's right.