Self Bullying Myself

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Yes I have asperger syndrome and I got alot to say. I put myself down like name calling. I call myself ret*d for no reason. When someone says hurtful words to me its like I don't care. I talk to them how lame I could be of self bullying.I think I lost my sensitive side. PS I could careless

Self-deprecation is a coping technique I used frequently, especially when I was a teenager.

I still do, to an extent, but only when I'm enduring a depressive episode.

It sounds like you've desensitised yourself, which maybe why you've lost your sensitive side?

I'm aware you could care less, but why else would you post here? Probably just to vent perhaps.

Just know it's not uncommon, and the self-hate will only fester, unless you're able to find any help or support to guide you through it.

Maybe you could try positive affirmations.

Maybe be careful with that though. I've tried that before and I just ended up frustrated and still feeling awful. Wjat are your energy levels like? If you can't/won't consider therapy if you are feeling quite bad getting stuff done can help. I'm waiting to be in therapy and in the meantime have started fostering hobbies. I also got taught in CBT to be critical of thoughts and each time I beat myself up to imagine instead someone else was doing this and what I would tell them. I still often feel bad after but less and it hits less hard because I realise it isn't grounded in reality.

You could try asking yourself for “evidence” that you’re dumb.

No, but i understand how that can be a coping technique. When I was in college my aspie type friends would sometimes call themselves "losers" and also call the group of friends this. I was probably the most obvious aspie of the group and didn't call myself "loser", but it didn't bother me that they did so.

Interesting subject. I will give you my perception and solution. Aspies have a different brain structure. We daydream. We can live in a world of fantasy. We can develop alternate personas. When we do this we develop a whole world of other versions of ourselves. Some of these personas are outside us. They are like an echo or ghost of those that bully us. This is a common depiction of these exterior personas.


Source: Shutterstock

So hold tight to your internal personas. Recognize those that are internal from those that are external. Listen to the wisdom given by the angels and banish the demons. These demons only mean you harm.