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BugsBunnyFan
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21 Nov 2023, 4:54 pm

I think I have super obvious ADHD symptoms, but I haven’t been diagnosed. I dropped out of high school because my ADHD symptoms are just so extreme. I guess it’s easier to blame everything on autism and let me rot in special ed. I think I even fit the ADHD stereotype pretty well. I’m pure chaos. I guess what I don’t have is a whole bunch of ADHD “hyperactivity”. I think I still do.
My “hyperactivity” is low enough to not be all that impulsive and not look ADHD enough to some people. I think my hyperactivity is high enough to get stared at by people and seem weird. It’s bad enough for me to be self-conscious about it. I guess I’ll be left to rot forever. No one is acknowledging that I have real issues. I probably have a very bad learning disability as well. I just have no f*****g clue what it is. I’m supposed to figure out everything myself and tell everyone how they can support me. Guess what? I have no f*****g clue. I just need a better diagnosis than just autism.



carlos55
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24 Nov 2023, 7:27 am

BugsBunnyFan wrote:
I think I have super obvious ADHD symptoms, but I haven’t been diagnosed. I dropped out of high school because my ADHD symptoms are just so extreme. I guess it’s easier to blame everything on autism and let me rot in special ed. I think I even fit the ADHD stereotype pretty well. I’m pure chaos. I guess what I don’t have is a whole bunch of ADHD “hyperactivity”. I think I still do.
My “hyperactivity” is low enough to not be all that impulsive and not look ADHD enough to some people. I think my hyperactivity is high enough to get stared at by people and seem weird. It’s bad enough for me to be self-conscious about it. I guess I’ll be left to rot forever. No one is acknowledging that I have real issues. I probably have a very bad learning disability as well. I just have no f*****g clue what it is. I’m supposed to figure out everything myself and tell everyone how they can support me. Guess what? I have no f*****g clue. I just need a better diagnosis than just autism.


Its difficult to separate Autism comorbidities or ADHD & ASD biologically, its separated clinically because its easier to deal with them as separate issues i.e medication.

In reality your ADHD may not be ADHD rather ASD symptoms from your particular type of autism.

So as is found with many autistics any ADHD medication may not work as well on you as someone with just ADHD but you may want to give it a try to see how it goes.


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blitzkrieg
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24 Nov 2023, 7:32 am

There is overlap between the symptoms of ADHD & Autism but they are not the same.

ADHD is an issue of concentration, focus and selective attention amongst a couple of other specific factors.

Autism is a social & communicative disorder, primarily.



MatchboxVagabond
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24 Nov 2023, 8:14 pm

Yo Samdy Sam on YouTube just came out as auDHD after having finally been diagnosed as ADHD. I doubt she's the only one. Personally, I got the OCD diagnosis then the ADHD diagnosis, but in part because of those diagnoses, and a lack of acceptable stimming early enough, it's been a challenge getting the ASD diagnosis even though there's no question about that if you meet me.

If you've got both conditions, then they're going to mask each other the way that OCD tends to mask ADHD. It's somewhat less clear if it happens for a reason with auDHD the way that OCD masking ADHD is likely due to them being largely opposite disorders where a mixed diagnosis couple has a better chance of surviving than either on their own leading to selective breeding for either both or neither.

EDIT: Her'es a a video where she talks about her experience in this area. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ8fAfVevL8&t=749s



IsabellaLinton
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24 Nov 2023, 8:26 pm

I was dx ASD in 2018 and felt the way you do. Even though I was deemed Moderate functioning I knew there just freaking had to be more to the story. I'd read ASD posts on here and they didn't sound like me at all. I mean yes of course they do in terms of symptoms, but I was always so intense and so dysregulated / lost, and such a hot mess with it all that it was far beyond a social impairment or sensory hell.

I went back for 20 hours of ADHD testing in early 2020, right before Covid. For all my life I assumed I couldn't be ADHD since I don't run around in circles with my feet. Then I realised my feet might sit still but the rest of me is always in motion, including my mind which goes at warp speed. At the same time I can't retain anything or hold a thought very long.

I was finally dx with ADHD-C (combined presentation). I've been on two kinds of meds at titrated doses and still haven't found much help tbh, but it's better than no meds. At least I'm not feeling like I'm encased in concrete 24/7 -- that's how my brain fog and lack of EF always felt. (I still have brain fog and no EF, but at least the cement is gone.)

I have a whole thread about the diagnostic journey here, somewhere.

My learning disability turned out to be audio-visual. I can't listen or watch to learn. I can only learn or even think by reading written language. That's why I'm on here so much - I can't really think without seeing my thoughts typed out in words, or by reading what others have to say.

I can try to link my thread if you'd like.



BugsBunnyFan
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25 Nov 2023, 12:02 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I was dx ASD in 2018 and felt the way you do. Even though I was deemed Moderate functioning I knew there just freaking had to be more to the story. I'd read ASD posts on here and they didn't sound like me at all. I mean yes of course they do in terms of symptoms, but I was always so intense and so dysregulated / lost, and such a hot mess with it all that it was far beyond a social impairment or sensory hell.

I went back for 20 hours of ADHD testing in early 2020, right before Covid. For all my life I assumed I couldn't be ADHD since I don't run around in circles with my feet. Then I realised my feet might sit still but the rest of me is always in motion, including my mind which goes at warp speed. At the same time I can't retain anything or hold a thought very long.

I was finally dx with ADHD-C (combined presentation). I've been on two kinds of meds at titrated doses and still haven't found much help tbh, but it's better than no meds. At least I'm not feeling like I'm encased in concrete 24/7 -- that's how my brain fog and lack of EF always felt. (I still have brain fog and no EF, but at least the cement is gone.)

I have a whole thread about the diagnostic journey here, somewhere.

My learning disability turned out to be audio-visual. I can't listen or watch to learn. I can only learn or even think by reading written language. That's why I'm on here so much - I can't really think without seeing my thoughts typed out in words, or by reading what others have to say.

I can try to link my thread if you'd like.

I once tried Ritalin, but it didn’t seem to do much. It’s a relief that one medication not working doesn’t rule ADHD out. I feel like I have moderate to severe ADHD traits. I also get along super well with non autistic people with ADHD. They also seem to spot my ADHD traits right away. I find my ADHD traits are harder to mask than my autistic traits. I feel like my autistic and OCD-ish traits mask some of my ADHD traits. My autistic “rigid thinking” tend to mask any ADHD impulsiveness all the time. I often create strict rules for myself so I won’t be impulsive.

I can also mask my timeblindness with “autistic routines” or “autistic rules”. I’m decent at being on time and remembering things until my “autistic routine” is broken or I’m not able to have my “autistic rules” for whatever reason. Suddenly people see how bad my timeblindness is. I haven’t “outgrown” it or “matured”. I just try incredibly hard to mask it.

I read this book about learning disabilities. It seems like I have a demand language disability. Which basically means I struggle to answer questions that pop up out of nowhere. That makes a lot of tiny little assignments nearly impossible for me, but the “harder” assignments end up being relatively easy. Since they don’t require demand language. It also makes a lot of real small talk impossible. So I try to make it easier by trying to predict every questions people will ask me, so I can give them a scripted answer.

Explaining all of this to people is absolutely useless. They either don’t understand, they don’t believe me or they’re just pretending to care. I’m very resentful that I had to self-diagnose so many things. I shouldn’t have to, but I sort of feel forced to when no one thinks I’m worth it. I guess people just want to see me rot. So I just tell people the bare minimum and whatever I think is more likely to get accommodations.

Instead of saying I have sensory issues, I often tell people I have a migraine. I do get migraines, so I’m not exactly lying. I don’t exactly expect special treatment. I just use migraines as an explanation for weird body language or me needing to leave early. If I visibly have sensory issues, I can also say it’s caused by a migraine. Sensory issues and weird body language are often an early sign of a migraine anyways. I remember one day I “lied” about having a migraine because I noticed I seemed more grumpy and monotone. Later that day I got a full on migraine episode.



IsabellaLinton
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25 Nov 2023, 12:27 am

viewtopic.php?f=35&t=384481&p=8442035&hilit=ADHD#p8442035

Here's the thread if you're interested. ^


Here's my scores if you're interested:


Image


I can only speak for myself but I feel like the meds are generally made for non-autistic people, so it's hard to find one that will fit. My doctor took a long time choosing a med for me because I have a history of stroke. I'm not allowed the class with Ritalin but I can have Vyvanse.

I started on a crazy low dose of Vyvanse which had to be compounded for me. I think it was 5mg? I had a pretty good response at first but it slowly went up to 50 mg over the course of a year or so. By then I couldn't sleep until around 6 a.m., even if I took it 24 hours before. My EF remained really bad and my emotions were an absolute s**tshow. I had one of the biggest meltdowns of my life in the summer of 2020 and even left here for a while. I think I was around 20mg at that time. It's like everything got supercharged, but I didn't know.

I had to go back on my atypical SSRI with the Vyvanse, to balance out my moods. But then I had a bad reaction to my SSRI and quit that.

I had a second stroke in December 2020 but they don't think it was related and I was allowed to stay on Vyvanse.

I stayed on the high dose Vyvanse thinking I might even need higher (?!) to fix my EF, but finally in the spring of this year my doctor decided to switch me to a different kind called Guanfacine (Intuniv) which is made for Autistic children. It's a different class from Ritalin or Vyvanse. You can take it at bed to help sleep, or in the morning, or even both.

It doesn't really help me sleep but I take it at night anyway. I tried it in the day and feel a bit brain foggy from it, but I think it's pretty decent overall and it really helps my mood. My partner sees a huge difference because I'm a lot more calm, in general, than before. I guess I appear calmer to people but inside I'm still struggling to do things, and I'm still losing at least ten things per day. My phone is currently lost and has been lost for three or four days before. I lost my car keys for two weeks. Something is always lost, if not multiple things.

One day last week I went out but was unable to find:

- socks
- shoes
- underwear
- pants
- bra
- hairbrush
- coat
- debit card
- phone
- car keys with house keys attached

I went out in PJ bottoms with bare feet and sandals with a rain jacket over my night shirt, and hoped for the best.


I'm currently attempting to take Guanfacine at night and Vyvanse 20 mg in the day. I might drop the Vyvanse to 10mg. They're allowed to be taken together so that's not a problem.

I'll let you know what happens but I already had a trauma meltdown from hell this week.

So far, so bad.


Mind you I was on Prednisone at the same time. I think it was a toxic combination for my mood.


Oh - I almost forgot to say my daughter is HFA and ADHD-C. She takes Vyvanse 50 mg with good results. She's not "perfect" but she's able to function way better than before.



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25 Nov 2023, 2:40 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I can only speak for myself but I feel like the meds are generally made for non-autistic people, so it's hard to find one that will fit. My doctor took a long time choosing a med for me because I have a history of stroke. I'm not allowed the class with Ritalin but I can have Vyvanse.

I have personally noticed that the Ritalin does a few other things for me than it would with just ADHD, but obviously ymmv. When I'm not burned out it definitely clears up my thinking substantially and frequently improves my speaking.



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26 Nov 2023, 8:32 am

Could easily be both, same for me while I wait the 2 years for a assessment for ADHD-C


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26 Nov 2023, 8:39 am

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I can only speak for myself but I feel like the meds are generally made for non-autistic people, so it's hard to find one that will fit. My doctor took a long time choosing a med for me because I have a history of stroke. I'm not allowed the class with Ritalin but I can have Vyvanse.

I have personally noticed that the Ritalin does a few other things for me than it would with just ADHD, but obviously ymmv. When I'm not burned out it definitely clears up my thinking substantially and frequently improves my speaking.


I'm jealous since I'm not allowed to try it, or Adderall and the one that starts with S.
Can't think of the name lol

Straterra.



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26 Nov 2023, 8:59 am

My wife had neurological issues and suspected a genetic link so we went to support groups for different diseases.
She also became a support group leader! It was quite obvious to see similarities when you had a dozen or more people with the exact same issues. None of them minded if you weren't exactly in the right group. You could be a support group leader for a disease you didn't have.

So yes, not being able to have the medical community figure it out is a big issue.
I've seen someone with a placard or sign labeling themselves with a genetic test result looking for others with the same.



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27 Nov 2023, 7:39 pm

At my more dysfunctional states, I can be mistaken for someone with ADHD.

I do not have ADHD.
I do not have the signs in childhood. Yet somewhat 'have' since puberty.

Not because of harder expectations or harder school life; but of puberty and hormonal imbalance which I'm still dealing with to this day.

It sort of also lined up with the timeline, when at my worst years was also the first I have a PC and gaining internet addiction; and being overstimulated as a form of autopilot default.

I do not have that in childhood. Overwhelm was not my so called head's default.
Yet it did when mental health issues came; it was a way for me to cope. But I no longer really need it, now it's an unwanted habit.


Once I figure how to get out of this stupid hole that my head had made no thanks to puberty, I won't 'have ADHD'.

I have much more control than this, and it's frustrating; it's also how I get to understand why people cannot seem to get out of it.

At any rate, I refuse the ADHD self diagnosis and label.
It doesn't explain my case at all, even after months and years contemplating with the possibility and suspicion; lots of overlaps yet something deep just doesn't fit.

My source of executive dysfunction is a bit more subtle and complicated than that.

How about wall of texts and seemingly chattiness?
My compensation over poor language control, which is definitely autism and nothing else; along with not being a true introvert.

And even the positive aspects like craving novelty and boredom?
That's just me as an autistic, without dealing with everyday anxiety -- in which I find no one else seem to relate -- along with my personal deprivations and counter-autistic personality traits that I inherited and acquired.


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