BPD seems to fit, but not quite, gender bias?

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out of curiosity, which of your BPD symptoms are you proud of/do you like?

Things like the fitting-in obsession and bad conception of self and ability to absorb other people's personalities and values help to cancel out ASD symptoms that I'm much more ashamed of, or maybe not. I dunno. Self-awareness is neither an AS nor a BPD strong point.

Doubting a diagnosis is a normal response, even if it "fits." Getting an ASD diagnosis in adulthood can be difficult because one did not grow up knowing it. Most ASD literature is focused on childhood symptoms, which are usually more florid, so it can cause a lot of questioning. People with an ASD change throughout life and learn to cope so please consider that.

Be careful. BPD is internally stigmatized. If you believe it describes what is going on with you more than ASD, see a professional who specializes in BPD.

A misdiagnosis can do a lot of harm.

I was once diagnosed with BPD. The label denied fair access to and appropriate psychiatric treatment. I ended up traumatized. My problems (all ASD related) were explained from a psychiatric point of view. Eg. I was told I was abused and from a dysfunctional family. None of this was true. I tried to contest it, but was told I was just being difficult and acting like a Borderline.

After I was diagnosed with ASD/Asperger's Syndrome, I found an explanation to my lifelong problems. It made a huge difference. For the first time ever, I actually responded to therapy.

Do some research. Read academic papers. Visit credible BPD websites. You can even visit discussion boards to see if you relate to others with the disorder. Just avoid diagnosing yourself. The brief descriptions listed in the DSM criteria are solely that. Other conditions appear similar to BPD on a superficial level. Only a trained clinician can determine that.

I have to agree. I found out about most of my disorders I apply for by myself and afterwards got evaluated for it by a shrink. Mostly by those who are specialist in the disorders I show signs for that I can be sure that I really have it.
I also went in forums and read books about it and talked to people who also have the diagnosis.
That's how I found out that I have autistic symptoms, being Transgender (already had my operation, still waiting for my name change) and well with bipolar it was a "funny" thing: I went to a shrink and didn't told him about my bipolar suspicion, because I wasn't sure and was astonished that he also had a bipolar suspicion about me becasue of my symptoms.

But I have to agree, misdiagnosis can do a LOT OF harm. If it fits everything is fine and if not, it is terrible and also terrible to come out again.