I feel like I don't exist

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I know the feeling. It was called depersonalization in my case. It can drive me insane from time to time. I learned to ignore the feeling, but when I focus on it, I see it is there all the time. I think it started for me when I was around 16 (I am 42 now...). Hope you learn to deal with it. I tried to figure out how this works, but there does not seem to be an answer to the problem. Of course there are other problems that go along with it, from the depersonalization/derealization type, I think I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. Hope it will not be like that for you... take care.

I understand what you are talking about actually. Surprise! I have manic depression and schizophrenia rolled into one. I face emotional ups and downs all the time and even laugh at the wrong stuff or sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. I would say it is still the same pain as I got older but easier to keep inside when in public. Now and then I almost slip up in public. I find I do the best when I am in my car as I am able to talk to myself without someone worrying about someone looking at me funny. You are not alone - possibly. Then again, I am delusional and am not therapist so I could be wrong. But I can relate. Harry Potter is a pretty good series to read and the movies are pretty good too. I really do not care if they do not coincide with the books. Entertainment is entertainment. Yes, I have read the Chronicles of Narnia as well. I love fantasy and science fiction. I had two cats, but one died from a flea infestation in the basement. Actually the infestation killed about 5 or 6 of the cats in my dad's house. One of my cats is the last remaining cat. The rest of the 10 or 11 cats are all dead now. Yes, I live in my dad's house again. Over six years ago, I did not. Lol. Rofl. Sorry, forgot the post was about your stuff. lol. I get carried away sometimes. rofl.