Say Something Random: psychological Conditions Version

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Nice one Jakki

How are you doing?

Am okay today TY for asking BB .......that thing about being your own friend ...remembering and then considering it
as a thing to pay attention to ...if you get into a self critical mode or even self doubt ...zseems to be the part of it .
That gets away from me sometimes ...( Guess maybe) When all these people over the years in those self help books wrote about. (((centering yourself)))Perhaps thats what they meant as well as trusting in your self ?

I think it's all just part of my therapy process

Heeling and all that

I'm trying the world on for the first time

I woke up unstable today. It's from being overwhelmed and doing too much over the last week with only one day of being able to be home all day. I unapologetically bailed on the thing I was supposed to do today, and I explained very clearly why I did it...that I am unstable and if I go out today, I'll either flip out on people or start shutting down. Sounds small, but generally when I get like this, I don't get detailed about the whys, just that I'm not going to be there. I've been working on being as clear as possible about these kinds of things. Not a huge step, but a step still.

I'll say it's a step

You take it easy man

When I say there were two thoughts in my head when I got diagnosed, there are two different voices.

These are just thoughts from nowhere that I can converse with sometimes.

I'm aware that it's from my head. Self generated. It's not some delusion of believing that there 'is' a 'someone else'.
But still, it's not as voluntarily -- no different than my mind and brain generating stuff. The voices are just something that's imagined as assigned to.

On the day of my diagnosis, I got;

One wants me to settle with myself and be happy at the fact that I am different.
And one wants me to not settle with myself and prove that I'm different in ways that aren't inferior or limited.

But those voices are quite distinct.
One is probably my ego, which was some sort of angry little girl, from my left side of my head.
The other one is... I dubbed 'him' as some sort of sage. It's an elderly male with a comical grandfather-like voice. And it's always on my right side closer between the temple and ear.

I never heard the latter in my head for so long until now.


I've known several 'thought voices' throughout my years, especially as a child.

Somehow it was conversing with my inner child.




Once I had a thought of wanting to kill myself; then all of them protests in unison, in so many directions beyond the 3d.

I don't know which is which, only that it's "all of them" including my ego, my mind, my brain and my body...

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Do things l and people have changed .....someone whom 8ntrinsically supported my mefical existence . Is leaving this Earth, I am told! if ndeed this is the case. And am not anticipating a replacement for this person , My Doctor.
Will serious cause my lifespan to shorten quite abit ...This is/ was the best Doctor md , i had ever met in all my days.
Written will out exaggeration . And not looking good for any future . Unless , a miracle happens

It's like I gained an angel on my right shoulder, whispering me stuff like patience and forgiveness.

And acknowledging my growth that I'm becoming less of an angry child that I was in the past; that I am not this person anymore, that I shouldn't be so 'stubborn' and 'insist' that I'm still that person when I'm not.


... Now, if only I can listen to it often enough as a habit...

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Lolz.. thank you for the above ......

When you're f****d up in your own head it's easy to not even consider the notion that most people are probably just as f****d up in their own way

I must remember this moving forwards

It's mad how trauma can make you completely forget who you are