Fear of going insane

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I've been suffering from severe Depersonalization and Derealization. I have a phobia that I'm going insane. I heard this is can happen to people who have Asperger's. Has anyone else experienced this?

not sure what those things are, but I think I had a few lapses of that when I was younger, I think you have to just keep resisting it and try to rely on your natural instincts and it goes away, not sure what happens if you dont

In my case it's more like knowledge of going insane...I guess I don't see much point in being afraid of it anymore I mean it's almost the one thing I can be certain of.

My brain makes an intresting point when I think about resisting it....why resist it? my response 'I'm not really sure.'

Yes, I do... Usually when I'm feeling really depressed or really anxious. Actually I had an episode yesterday when I was on the train. Its hard to explain but I feel that I'm losing myself more and more and I'm stuck in my head with racing thoughts. I become so introverted that when I have to function in real life I find it hard. It feels like everything blurs away and everything's fake. It feels like I'm in a dream or something and then I feel like I'm going crazy.

Sorry if my typing is screwy, I'm on my iPhone.

I have a massive fear of schizophrenia so I can totally relate. I know it sounds weird but I guess it is weird. The problem is that when you get more and more anxious about it you start to experience symptoms like you mentioned which in the anxious mind amount to more evidence that you're going insane. You've just got to remember that it's a "vicious cycle". You start by getting anxious about being insane. Then the anxiety gives you dissociative symptoms like depersonalisation and de realisation. As you get these symptoms you get even more anxious about going insane. And it just gets worse and worse.
The only thing I can say is that it will get better with time as you learn to eliminate this cyclic thinking and learn coping strategies. The fact that you are questioning your own sanity shows that you are not insane. It is generally accepted that truly "crazy" people have no idea that they're crazy. It's called insight. And you have insight. So quit worrying!
Try some light exercise, meditation and keep your mind busy! Those three things considerably help me with my anxious thoughts.
Hope you're feeling an ickle better

For me it's gotten worse, even though I have learned lots of coping stratedgies...I mean don't get me wrong I am sure they are great coping stragedies when they work but it all seems futile. I have not nessisarily told anyone I know IRL this but I think I've already decided to just see where the rollar coaster ride takes me because I'm tired of fighting. If I go 'insane' I go insane and I may be already. I don't think I am totally insane but that might be a sign that I am and I just don't know it.

I mean I have to wonder if while I am trying to make sense of people, they may be trying to make sense of me wondering why I don't realise I am being irrational. I am afraid to ask people if they think I seem screwed up in the head or like I'm getting more screwed up because well maybe I am still a little afraid of going insane.

This is probably that vicious cycle...you where talking about and I can never seem to escape it.

Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'm trying to stay busy.

I honestly think the best thing you do besides the things I've mentioned is to talk about it with someone. If there's any confidential counsellors you can speak to I think that would be the best thing. Or if you can't do that - try and write everything through you've got lingering in the dark alcoves of your mind down on a piece of paper. Then you can just crumble the paper up and chuck it in the bin. It makes you feel more empowered and in control of yourself - rather than letting your anxious mind be in control of you.
also if you are actually experiencing psychotic symptoms I wouldn't just give up and let it suck you in. And I wouldn't say resisting it is a good idea either. I'm not an expert but I think what you need to do is learn your individual specific coping mechanisms and try and maintain a "normal" life style as possible.
What helped me keep my focus is writing down a list of what I thought was a normal day on a piece of paper. Stuff like "Eat three meals" "Sleep for 8-9 hours" "Take meds" "Do 30 minutes exercise" "Make effort to have conversation with someone I know" "Do one hour of mentally stimulating activity".
It can feel empowering completing these basic tasks others take for granted and people in our position forget to participate in. It makes you feel like you are more in control - and not only that the tasks are extremely beneficial for your mental health.

Oh and when you complete the list you can have a little treat or something. Maybe indulge in chocolate or in my case smoke a lot of cigarettes haha. Completing the list makes you feel good about yourself! Like you're achieving something. It's much better than wallowing around in bed (which is what I'd usually be doing)

anyway I think I've rambled on a bit. You might think my ideas are rubbish but they've really helped me. At the end of the day if it's a real pressing concern and you feel cornered and there's no way out the best port of call is to go and see a doctor/psychiatrist.

Last edited by JoeRose on 13 Jun 2012, 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

also if you're worried about psychosis (I know I am) - you can take Omega-3 Vitamin Tablets. I take a few a day and try to eat a lot of fish. It really is brain food. And as this study shows it seems it may have an anti-psychotic like effect:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20124114

I have gone to therapy, I've tried writing in journals or just on paper to toss away...but as I said these things don't really seem to do much other then take the edge off ever so slightly. Also I don't really feel I am letting it be in control, more like no matter how hard I try not to let it be in control it still remains that way.

Also I don't know if its really psychotic symptoms, but sometimes the depression, PTSD and anxiety get pretty intense to the point of what I would almost describe as psychotic I suppose. Also I have no idea what a normal lifestyle is, my life is probably anything but 'normal' I mean like normal on my terms or what is typically considered normal?

And I agree that would not be a terrible scedule, but for various reasons mine would not look quite...well it might but then I would not be able to live up to it. I mean I'm lucky if I get like 5 hours of sleep I don't see how I could make myself lay there tossing and turning for 8 or 9 hours, eating can be a problem if I am so on edge I am nauseous or just too nervous to focus on making or getting something to eat. I do talk to people I know and well I am sure I get at least 30 minutes of excercise most days just having to walk around catching the bus or whatever.

Still working on seeing a doctor/psychiatrist but my lack of funds and income make that more difficult. Anyways what you've said certainly isen't rubbish, except I kind of disagree about me letting the anxiety be in control, since it seems the more I fight it the worse it gets.

Yes. For me it was caused by what is called by some as "psychic disintegration". It can happen as a result of a few triggers; mortality check (near death exp), certain psychotropic drug states, meditative kensho, yogic openings/activations of Kundalini, etc. Basically this reality overwhelms the psyche. So the experience is of dp and dr and I believe this is because there is an unbalance--loss of the control center aka "ego". So "who" you are is no longer substantial enough to perpetuate your continuous experience of reality. It can be reversed, I went insane first, it wasn't too bad. I've come back, mostly.

Honestly I don't think psychosis can persist in an ASD person. Can it? Would it help if you knew I have pondered this same thing and came up with this fact: I can convince myself of anything. So where would that leave me?

Anywhere. Groundless being.

I had an episode of derealization back in January. It was terrifying because it really did feel like I was going insane. I have always been mentally ill, but functional, yet a lot of times I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of insanity. I'm really afraid that one day, something will push me over the edge and I will snap.

I deal with this all the time trust me it's not a easy thing to deal with.

Very similar to depression, from loosing control of things

Depression, maybe...I did not think I was going insane so much as almost concluding that I had died and this world was actually Hell. Snapped out of that though.
More concerned about what happens if I get hyper - probably even look like I have lost it when that happens, wide eyed, evil grin, saying my thoughts out-loud, etc.