Tourette Syndrome is More Internal for Me as an Adult
I can remember humming and making noises when I was four years old. Think about it-- we eventually have to blink. This was like the Tourettes I was having, but the preschool teaching assistant would quiet me down, which was pretty upsetting.
Over the years, my Tourettes have become better physically, where I do not jerk my head or make a humming sound. I never had severe Tourettes, such as "cussing" or "kicking my legs."
I have grown up to 22 years old now, and since I was in my last year of high school, my Tourettes have become less of a physical problem. I do occasionally twitch my eye. However, sometimes, depending on how manic I become (I have Bipolar I), I do some occasional humming or jerking of my head. It goes away the minute I calm down. When I was younger and became manic, my Tourettes were worse.
Added to a bit of physical problems, the main problem I want to address and see if others have this is thoughts that are controlling of how you interact with others. The thoughts are so pretend, yet everytime I remember having my Tourette thoughts, they come back. An example is when I am talking to someone, all of a sudden a thought pops into my head. It is usually negative, and it is about what they will say. It is anticipating, racing thoughts like these which make me take Anti-Depressants. It is so difficult TO THIS DAY for me to describe my internal problems with Tourette thoughts. Does anyone have any other ways of describing this problem if you or someone else has it? Especially, when I am reading a book and realize how Tourette Syndrome has had a bad impact on my concentration, I start to have pretend thoughts like I am reading below college level. It is based on bad past experiences with learning how to read as a child. Psychiatrists and other physicians think this is schizophrenia, and I am like, "really?" Lol, but I think it is important that I share these problems and see what you guys think! Thanks!
You have a lot of insight on this topic, Adam. I have recently been informed/first-step-of-diagnosis about having tourettes myself. Unfortunately I have "fallen between the cracks" with many of my issues which SHOULD have been addressed growing up. reflecting back on my past, I recall having an eye tic at approximately seven years of age in which I was taken into an eye doctor for an eye exam. My parents were told there was nothing wrong with my eyes physically, so I was not taken to any other doctors for further review. Instead, I was punished for "doing it on purpose", which I swear I was not. Honestly, I completely forgot about that until very recently, as I have had several motor and phonic tics manifest all at once, starting this last March. At first I thought they were seizures lol..... (I DO have a history of childhood seizures) but after a few mental health evaluations (due to the tics and several stress-related meltdowns) I was informed it is very likely tourettes... "do you have any memory of EVER having any kind of abnormal twitch?"...... Man oh man, after a quick and direct explanation of what tourettes REALLY was (until that time, I thought tourettes was how hollywood stereotyped it), I reaffirmed the doctors suspicion. The eye tic in elementary was just the beginning. I've had monor "twitchyness" as far back as I remember. facial twitches, occasional (like once or twice a day) arm or leg jerks... nothing as serious as the complete body spasms and exhale-snort I have been having at least every 20 seconds for the last several months.
From what I understand, Tourettes CAN influence irrational thought patterns and schizophrenia is more closely related to hearing voices and reoccurring thoughts of "everyone's out to get you". Don't quote me on that though, I haven't really done much research on schizophrenia.
I don't know if this is even CLOSE to the kind of answer(s) you are looking for, but this is my experience.
Hey there!
Thanks for reading and responding! Although not mentioned, i have eye and face tics pretty bad, particularly when i am angry. I know the feeling of not getting help, and i no one in school til around high scho knew. They all bullied me for my physical problems. I stll jerk my head too. Did you ever end up seeing a psychiatrist? That's what i've seen since the age of 5. I am so glad you shared this with me!! !
Honestly... I'm working on that! I've moved from California to Michigan to Texas (Greenville, East of Dallas) all in the course of a month. I've been here in Greenville exactly one week as of yesterday, actually. I have an appointment with MHMR on June 30th, hopefully I can get help through them. California doctors were extremely disinterested in my situation, Michigan doctors were scheduling my appointments 3 months or more down the line.... I don't have any insurance to cover the doctors visits to get definitive diagnosis at the same time I have to have a definitive diagnosis to qualify for insurance. One of those enigmatic "catch 22's"....
I am staying with my cousin here in Greenville, so I finally have a bit of stability in that, the BIG plus is she works for MHMR... So she's able to direct me in the RIGHT direction. The waiting game is really the worst part of the whole situation (blasted anxiety issues!). Another possible benefit of being back here in Texas is the fact of my "official" diagnosis of ADHD in 1998/1999 is on record with West Texas Rehab Commission. In addition of the confirmation of tourettes I am also seeking evaluation for Aspergers-- I've been researching and researching the topic since last summer when I accidently ran across information about how A.S. was commonly misdiagnosed as ADHD... My reaction to that was "WOAH! That really describes me!"... you know? I've always second-guessed my ADHD diagnosis for the sole fact that, when it's involving one of my obsessions such as airplanes, turtles, or playing an instrument, I have absolutely ZERO attention deficit. I have a habit of tuning the rest of the world out for hours on end while immersed in "the zone". That and hypersensitivity issues, extremely eccentric and immature personality, difficulty in "seeing the larger picture" (narrow mindedness or one track mind??), no mentionable friends and difficulty maintaining family relationships, high IQ, inability to maintain a stable job (27 jobs in 16 years, averaging 3.5 months at each job).... from my perspective, at least, I am a stereotypical textbook Aspie according to the DSM IV qualifications. Or maybe I'm just a hypochondriac or something of that nature lol..... (I tend to read too much into things sometimes). Whatever the case may be, I'm definitely NOT normal!
Heh, klikmaus - my experiences are VERY similar to yours. I'm 27, and started having tics (eye twitch, nostrils flaring, grunt) when I was young, but was just yelled at to 'just stop it'; it wasn't until I watched a special on Tourettes when I was 19 that was like "that's me".
I haven't bothered with a diagnosis, but last summer I had an -awful- flareup. It's been much better in 2011 so far.
I'm likely borderline Aspergers, but haven't bothered seeking a diagnosis for that, either.
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