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archraphael
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 28 Jul 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 174

23 Aug 2011, 4:25 am

It's like an inner restlessness or agitation and I need to get out it sometimes precedes crying but not always. Some times it comes hand in hand with emmm.. "nature calling"
....
When I am around people it is almost completely numbed but I find the 'people emotional buffer' wears off and I feel intense around people and then have to run like hell to go feel intense in a state of complete mental despair ...
I know this sounds dramatic but it makes me do rash things.. I would call it 'suicide pains'
...

I was looking through a schizophrenics forum and they mentioned in a topic an "intense" emotion that was a dead ringer and suggested it must be the dopamine system reacting to the medications
But it's not JUST intense... I believe it's a step BELOW depression/despair but with an intense ENERGY ...

...

I suppose what I want to know is if anyone has felt this way and how to cure it besides sedatives??



EGGREGUYOUS
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 236
Location: United States

24 Aug 2011, 12:13 am

I do very much. You may or may not get confused by this: So I'm AS, you know what kind of crappy childhood we all have. I ended up with... well repressed everything, yet at times like at night when I feel, if you will, "more human" (It's not only night time) anyways I still end up feeling things a lot more sensitive than everyone I know, I just don't show it because I repress it (I haven't figured out how to not repress).
Some of the Doctors of Chiropractic I've gone to have discovered that I am what they call "Super Sensitive". That means not only do I feel emotions very strongly, I am also very Empathic and many times I will actually feel what someone else is feeling and accidentally "store" the other persons emotions into my own body which later on cause problems in my body.
Like now, I have a stomach problem nobody else in my family has and it's constant and it started out of nowhere. Now because of all these "abilities" if that's appropriate. I have created a fake "me", I have created a mask of myself to appeal to everyone else because nobody understood my real self, so at a young age I started to construct this fake me, I actually don't know who I am now, it is a strange experience when I look in the mirror, my face seems artificial to myself.
I am trying to find my real self, I have to start all over again but I don't know how or where to start. When I found out all these things then I became angry and blamed everyone else for my problems, typical response, but now I try not to blame other people for my problems, even if I didn't even know I was doing what I was doing! Lately I've been a lot more frustrated and angry and depressed (I'm chronically depressed) even though I am taking pills for my depression and anger. This'll sound corny but to me it feels like something inside me is being reborn. I have all this anger but I don't know what to do with it, I don't cry (I don't know how to cry or express emotions, ergo repressed emotions) but when everyone leaves the house I just scream and yell until my voice gives out and blast my stereo.


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There's got to be a God somewhere, someone who cares. I stay on bended knee and hope the Father answers prayers.