can't trust myself

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I found out that I also have psychotic features in addition to my aspergers. I experience delusional thinking including paranoia and violence.

After finding this out, I can't trust my thoughts or ideas - they might be wrong.

I guess I'll ask my med doc for something with an anti-psychotic since for some reason isn't aware of.

Be cautious here. Being a bit paranoid and having violent thoughts does not automatically make someone psychotic.


That is actually a very sane statement.


I would first be sure that is actually necessary.

thank you for that.

my neuropsych evaluation reveals some psychotic features. I don't know why the doc isn't treating it. Although, I've never really complained that they're a problem.

See, my paranoia involves the feeling of the world around me has been created for me to cause me grief and that everyone in my life is against me. It's on and off. It's predominant when I'm overly stressed.

I believe the world around us has been created for each and all of us to enjoy, and that we experience grief when (or because) others act as if it was only created for them. So then, the key is to see things as they really are and to find ways to enjoy them with others.

I hate that... wondering if what you think is valid or not. It is hard to accurately gauge that sort of thing when you are prone to odd trains of thought that are often not reality based. I have intrusive thoughts with my OCD... when I get to head tripping, I can tell myself it is all in my head, but that does not help when you are going through it. I spent years second guessing myself, not trusting my own thoughts or judgment. I finally got put on a tricyclic and it is starting to help. I hope you can find a way to rid of your own unwanted thoughts. It is terrible. I wish you well.

Just because your thoughts differ from everyone elses' doesn't make you wrong, and would be spectacular arrogance of anyone to say that. It just places you in a minority - maybe a minority of one. You should only be seeking treatment for your 'delusional' thoughts if they are causing you a problem.

so believing everyone are just actors and stage dressing and acting against me is normal, apex of the bell jar, huh?

Well it isn't usual, and it isn't my experience, but whether it's right or wrong is up to you, and whether its causing you a problem.

are you trying to create a conundrum or paradox?

Neither. I too have beliefs which other people don't share, but being in a minority does not make me wrong; and I'm not inclined to tolerate those whose arrogance doesn't allow them to accept that.

You seem to be arguing from an illogical assumption... that "truth" is plastic, and is different for each individual. While that might be true in certain circumstances, dealing with social mores perhaps, it can't be true on a fundamental level... because if truth is nothing but subjective then the subjectivity of truth itself cannot be held to be true. On some level we come to a point where a thing is either true or false. Either MasterJedi is correct during his more paranoid phases, and none of us exist other than as an illusion to deceive him, or these thoughts are plain wrong. A thing like that either is or isn't... there's no inbetween. As MasterJedi has correctly ascertained. It's not arrogance, it's common sense.

Either he lives on the set of The Truman Show, or he doesn't. His beliefs do not change the truth one way or the other. To argue otherwise is an exercise in absurdity for absurdities sake.

Not quite "Truman Show" bad but sometimes I feel like scenarios are set up for me to fail. Like the people around me are paid off by some shadow figure to create a bad situation and see that I do poorly.

Once I heard something that compounded this.

I used to live by a busy intersection in Portland, ME. and there was an ambulance going by. I know I heard the sound of a train whistle being blown rather than the siren. I didn't live near close enough to train tracks to hear the whistle that clearly.

And seemingly "random" coincidences like I'm trying to hear an important segment on the news that relates to me or something important to me and something occurs outside like a truck turns on it's jake brake at that moment or how is it that I'm able to stub my toe on exactly the same spot where I have a blister?

I'm also convinced that there's a signal or something about computer monitors that makes the internet so addictive. Maybe something sent over the internet embedded in HTML or whatever is employed to show you images and whatnot on web pages.

Same here i had a huge fight with my brother tonight so i am violent.

Yes, that sounds mildly psychotic and delusional. Have they adjusted your meds after this new revelation?

if you're asking me, I've had this kind of thinking for a long time but they're only treating the ADHD and depression. I think because the delusions don't effect my activities of daily living.

I do experience irrational rage and anger from time to time.