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Ai_Ling
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29 Nov 2011, 2:35 am

I post this question out of curiosity. Do you thing there's an ethical obligation for your psych to like you. I've been with psychs that I feel have disliked me. They thought I was a brat. Thankfully I finally switched to someone who does like me.

Is it every ok for there to be drama between you and your psych?

Does your psych have to like you?

Does your psych have to be on your side?

Has anybody else been with psychs that had a disliked you?


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Ashuahhe
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29 Nov 2011, 2:44 am

The one and only psych I saw I felt I didn't 'click' very well with. Left like talking to a complete stranger than a close friend. When it came to solving problems for me, she didn't help all that much. She discussed strategies I knew already. Waste of money but works for some people



Chronos
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29 Nov 2011, 4:50 am

A person does not have to like you, however you should not see a psychiatrist who is hostile towards you or who is inhibited from providing you with the appropriate treatment for some reason.



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29 Nov 2011, 6:57 am

A RECOVERY BILL OF RIGHTS
FOR TRAUMA SURVIVORS


Copyright 1995-97 Thomas V. Maguire, Ph.D. Ver. 3.0 (04/97); latest from [email protected].
All rights reserved, except that permission is hereby granted to freely reproduce and distribute this document,
provided the text is reproduced unaltered and entire (including this notice) and is distributed free of charge.


By virtue of your personal
Authority
You have the Right to . . .

Manage your life according to your own values and judgment.
Direct your recovery, answerable to no one for your goals or progress.
Gather information to make intelligent decisions about your recovery.
Seek help from many sources, unhindered by demands for exclusivity.
Decline help from anyone without having to justify the decision.
Believe in your ability to heal and seek allies who share your faith.
Trust allies in healing so far as one human can trust another.
Be afraid and avoid what frightens you.
Decide for yourself whether, when, and where to confront fear.
Learn by experimenting, that is, make mistakes.


To guard your personal
Boundaries
You have the Right to . . .

Be touched only with, and within the limits of, your consent.
Speak or remain silent, about any topic and at any time, as you wish.
Choose to accept or decline feedback, suggestions, or interpretations.
Ask for help in healing, without having to accept help with everything.
Challenge any crossing of your boundaries.
Take action to stop a trespass that does not cease when challenged.


For the integrity of your personal
Communication
You have the Right to . . .

Ask for explanation of communications you do not understand.
Express a contrary view when you do understand and you disagree.
Acknowledge your feelings, without having to justify them.
Ask for changes when your needs are not being met.
Speak of your experience, without apology for your uncertainties.
Resolve doubt without deferring to the views or wishes of anyone.


For safety in your personal
Dependency in Therapy
You have the Right to . . .

Hire a therapist or counselor as coach, not boss, of your recovery.
Receive expert and faithful assistance in healing from your therapist.
Know that your therapist will never have any other relationship
with you -- business, social, or sexual.
Be secure against any disclosure by your therapist,
except with your consent or under court order.
Hold your therapist's undivided loyalty in relation to all abusers.
Obtain informative answers to questions about your condition,
your therapist's qualifications, and any proposed treatment.
Have your safety given priority by your therapist, to the point of readiness to use all
lawful means to neutralize an imminent threat to your life or that of someone else.
Receive a commitment from your therapist that is not conditional on
your "good behavior" (habitual crime and endangerment excepted).
Make clear and reliable agreements about the
times of sessions and of your therapist's availability.
Telephone your therapist between scheduled sessions, in urgent need,
and receive a return call within a reasonable time.
Be taught skills that lessen the risk of re-traumatization:
containment (boundaries for recovery work);
control of attention and mental imagery;
systematic relaxation.
Enjoy reasonable physical comfort during sessions.



Raziel
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29 Nov 2011, 7:24 am

I belive that a psych who doesn't like you wouln''t really help you, because there will allways be the distance o dislike.
I don't mean the professional distance between the psych and the patiant. That's another distance who doesn't help.

You don't really have empathy for people wich you don't like and you don't really care if the patient is getting worse.


I was once by a shrink (psych), who didn't really liked me. He was still very professional and accurat, but it couldn't work out like this.
I was reacting very bad under medications and he didn't notice that my symtpoms where from the mediactions, because he was just looking for other disorders, because he thought that I'm complitly sick and he even said it.
But now I have a longterm damage in the face (a spasm and I don't really feal my right side of the face anymore), because he didn't care about my symptoms and reacted very bad to those medications.
But he still didn't really care and when it got diagnosed that it was from those medications he got strange and wanted to tell me that everything is just psychological. I got pisst and he kicked me out.


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Last edited by Raziel on 29 Nov 2011, 11:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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29 Nov 2011, 9:36 am

I don't think I would trust a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist who did not like me.....especially if they wanted to prescribe me something.


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gramirez
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29 Nov 2011, 9:40 am

I think it's important for a doctor to like and/or respect you.


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Sora
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29 Nov 2011, 1:30 pm

There's no obligation but a mental health professional should like their patient. If they don't, there's no telling that their opinion doesn't negatively affect their judgement and the quality of their work. Also, I don't see how a patient could profit all too well from working on their precious mental health together with a psych who cannot be convinced to like them.

Two orthopaedic specialists I saw years ago didn't like me for being "weird" (autistic). They both managed to quickly arrive at the conclusion that I didn't have the injured ligament that I had.


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Ai_Ling
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29 Nov 2011, 2:16 pm

I dont know why but since ive been with so many psychs that havent worked, even autism specialists. I didnt know what it was to be with someone who did work till now. The last person I was with didn't like me, it wasn't clear at first but it eventually became evident by the time I left her.

And the funny thing about it is that my mom set her up with me. My mom is skeptical about all the professionals ive seen and this was the one professional she wasnt skeptical about. Yet this was the one out of the 2 professionals ive seen who ive had drama with. I hate when even your NT parents dont know whats best for you. My mom is skeptical about all the services ive been receiving and it gets tiring having to explain things to her.


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You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ: 33
Borderline aspie here


ECJ
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02 Dec 2011, 1:33 pm

gramirez wrote:
I think it's important for a doctor to like and/or respect you.

I agree.



kurai
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02 Dec 2011, 3:44 pm

my first therapist liked me probably a little too much - once i cried in a session and his eyes went wet also. it was weird and i felt guilty afterwards for putting the weight of my problems on his shoulders. it felt awkward to tell him anything afterwards.

on the other hand, i wouldn't tell someone stuff about me without the feeling he likes me at least a little bit.



Fnord
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02 Dec 2011, 4:03 pm

An effective mental-health professional should have a measure of clinical detachment. This is the ability to be objective and realistic, without passion, and without any emotional attachment whatsoever.

This does not mean that the "psych" should be cold and robot-like, but that he or she should not be emotionally affected by the tears and rage of his or her patients, even while giving empathetic feedback like, "You seem to be feeling excitement. Do you want to tell me why?" or "This event seems to have provoked you to anger. Can you explain the connection?"

Trauma Counselors, on the other hand, might require more connectedness with a patient that has just been raped, and whom they've just met - hugs, tears, and soft words go a long way toward helping the trauma victim face what has happened and begin the process to emotional recovery.


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Sweetleaf
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02 Dec 2011, 4:15 pm

Fnord wrote:
An effective mental-health professional should have a measure of clinical detachment. This is the ability to be objective and realistic, without passion, and without any emotional attachment whatsoever.

This does not mean that the "psych" should be cold and robot-like, but that he or she should not be emotionally affected by the tears and rage of his or her patients, even while giving empathetic feedback like, "You seem to be feeling excitement. Do you want to tell me why?" or "This event seems to have provoked you to anger. Can you explain the connection?"

Trauma Counselors, on the other hand, might require more connectedness with a patient that has just been raped, and whom they've just met - hugs, tears, and soft words go a long way toward helping the trauma victim face what has happened and begin the process to emotional recovery.


Maybe that's why counseling does not help me.......I mean I can understand them not getting caught up in being concerned or whatever, but not having any emotional attatchement whatsoever might be exactly why counselers Ive gone to strike me as a bit fake.


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fraac
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02 Dec 2011, 4:30 pm

Are you sure you mean 'like'? I've never had that reaction. Would feel unprofessional if they had any emotional involvement, including liking.



MindBlind
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11 Dec 2011, 7:16 pm

No. Psychiatrists are professionals, so they are obligated to treat their patients properly despite personal opinions. If their dislike towards you impedes on their ability to do their job, then they need to step down and let somebody else take over.

Same thing goes for if they like you/feel attracted to you; if it interferes with work, it's not professional.



Burnbridge
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11 Dec 2011, 7:19 pm

A trans friend of mine had a psych who was completely sexist, racist and hated her. She liked him, felt like she could trust him, because she felt like he was never softening his advice to make her feel better.


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