Completely froze today twice when i was confronted about how i am , i ran off to the gym the first time and the second time when my mum accused me of fibbing i felt really uncomfortable. This is something i have to work at and i will feel less uncomfortable with it hopefully over time. Im going off to London tomorrow to tell the truth and to stop lieing , i have been lieing all day and keep saying that i am fine when i feel like shite. So im going off to tell the truth and the truth will be hard and ugly , but its been an ugly few days for me and i feel that i have been trying to keep my head above water. Its like when your in the middle of water and you can't swim , but you try with all your might to keep going. I feel like i have been slowly drowning , but feel that i have to continue being someone else to please others that is exactly what i am doing. This has put me under pressure and i have been blocking my problems and replying to my parents saying im fine and have been trying to go about as if nothing is happening , i am worried i will end up back at this place.
21 Feb 2012, 4:03 pm
