I don't have aspergers and yet....

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I don't fit in socially that is. It's very difficult for me to make friends or communicate with people.This is especially troubling considering my profession as a journalist , 'feature writer' to be precise. While I excel when I use a written form of communication it is with oral communication that I find most difficult to cope with. It's not that I don't have friends - I do which is odd considering that - (I"ll get to this later) and very good ones too because they are the few people that understand me through my written rhetoric. There are 8 people in all whom I could consider as being friends and most of the very close ones are women...

I find it very difficult to follow verbal cues and while I understand facial expressions it is difficult for me to reciprocate emotionally.

While personally I don't value my physical self some feedback from my mates has led to me arrive at the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with me physically or appearance vice
1)I have derived that I am good looking
2)No facial expressions and often come across as being cold and insensitive
3)Inferiority complex
4)People ignore me when I talk to them
5)I have a bizzare sense of humour.
6)I am a creative fiction writer and often write macabre stories
7)I am a misanthrope as I believe people dislike me and I have begun to dislike them too....

(My psychiatrist ruled out aspergers and cited it as being social phobia since I was bulied as a child)



For the record I am 25 and this problem is getting all the more difficult to deal with...Is there any way that I can remedy this situation?

As you can well fathom that I am really depressed. Even when people talk to me it's like I don't feel anything - I feel like I am not even there.

Uhm, I'm gonna suggest NVLD. Nonverbal learning disorder. I have it, it basically makes you have a high verbal IQ, but your verbal IQ is disproportionate to your nonverbal IQ, which is great when it comes to writing, as you can just write on and on and on forever like I always do on this forum. Seriously like every post I make on here is at least 3 paragraphs. But, it's bad for understanding social stuff. And your verbal skills, either become above average or at the very least are completely intact. Like, my IQ gap, from what I remember is 130 verbal, but only 80 nonverbal. There's sorta overlap between NVLD, but it's not included into AS spectrum, for pretty much inexplicable reasons. I think the main thing, the measured incidence of NVLD is low compared to ASD, so it flys under the radar. I'd do some reading on NVLD. If you want to determine if you got it pretty simply, before going for an actual diagnosis, go online and look up a verbal IQ test and a nonverbal IQ test and compare the two, if there's more than like 20 points in between them, you got it. For some indicators, did you have trouble navigating places? Trouble at sports? Trouble staying organized? Trouble with math in school, especially algebra, but totally acing English, sciences, history, etc?

The other thing, too, NVLD isn't quite like Aspergers in diagnosis. They only run a few tests, IQ tests mainly, and you either have it or you don't, it's based on neurology, not psychology like AS is.

I don't know, considering you're a writer, it's possible. It's kind of a longshot, and it might just be me projecting my disability/whatever onto others, but it's something you should look into and see. Google NVLD/NLD and do some reading.

Ask other people if you have Aspergers. "1)I have derived that I am good looking" is very AS.

I took the Aspergers test and got a 117 which indicates that I have both Aspie and Neurotypical traits. However one of my friends did compare me with Dr.Sheldon Cooper from the big bang theory stating that we have similar mannerisms and interests.We dated briefly and she is also a journalist.

Even then I do not think that this comparison is fair. So as far as my Aspergers status goes then I am unsure since I do not have any traits such as following routines,repetitive gestures. making intricate diagrams or plans that are indicative of autism. The NLVD might make some sense....the idea is to acquire some form of social acceptance as it would be extremely difficult to continuing living on in this fashion.I would like to have a 'normal' life if possible.

A lot of reported AS traits are secondary symptoms of information overload. Do you get overstimulated around people and have to go off by yourself for a break?

Yes. I prefer working alone.While I can perform in a crowded workplace it annoys me as I cannot perform to my optimum.Often I need to go to the loo or the balcony as it gives me solace.I think my face is horrifying and so people would not wish to talk to me thus avoiding confrontations.Also my ideas are often radical and I carry different beliefs that people do not appreciate.

Mostly when people talk to me I tend to look the other way because their facial expressions are rather distracting. However I have been told that this is rude and that is why I try and maintain ' eye contact' as my father tells me that otherwise people will think that you don't like them.

Honestly, you sound AS, but I don't know about NVLD. Research them both until you've worked yourself out.

My psychiatrist ruled out aspergers and cited it as being social phobia. I live in 'India' which is very crowded and have no problem traveling to new places. I also often multi-task and can do several things at once...does this rule out aspergers or do you think it is better that I get an official diagnosis from someone who is qualified to do so?

Last edited by Ryuzaki21 on 16 Dec 2011, 2:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Did he give a reason why he ruled out Aspergers? You could try an expert, or if you just want to know yourself a bit better you could just read a lot of firsthand accounts of each condition and decide which fits best.

No, no definite reason was cited.

However I have been researching Aspergers Syndrome thoroughly of late and while some of the symptoms do fit most others do not especially those indicative of being on an autism spectrum scale such as

1)Repetitive motions or gestures
2)Unable to know when it is your turn to speak
3)Sticking to a schedule or time table
4)Unable to perform several tasks at once
5)Difficulty in getting back to a task after being interrupted
6)Fixed interests - I have several myriad interests

However these do fit in:

1)Displays obsessive or inappropriate attachment to certain objects
2)Forgets about other tasks when focussing on a primary task unless reminded
3)Shows signs of uncoordinated motor movements (clumsy)
4)Shows signs of heightened sensitivity – tends to be distressed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong tastes or textures
5) I am unable to handle emotions and often throw temper tantrums if things do not go the way I would like them.
6)mood swings
7)Lack of empathy and highly logical thinking...
Difficulty in social situations
So I am not very sure what to make of it

I have a diagnosis of Asperger's and can read faces. I also love traveling to new places. Also I have a laserlike focus that makes it so I can ONLY think of whatever I was interrupted doing until I can get back to it, even if it takes days/a week/longer. Which gets back around into AS obsessive territory I guess. Anyway! Seems like you might very well be diagnosed with it if you saw a different doctor for another opinion.

How can I improve upon my social skills?

People think that I am rude and arrogant. It is not true. I cannot tell people that I suspect myself of having aspergers or NVLD as it would spell disaster for my profession. Does being a creative writer rule out aspergers?.....since the symptoms indicate that it is not characteristic of someone who has the syndrome.

this is my blog : http://imprintt.blogspot.com/

As you can see I espouse the ability to write and think creatively as well as in an abstract fashion. Am I mistaking a deeply embedded social phobia?

In any branch of medicine there are usually many conditions that share similar symptoms.

ADD (or ADHD, whichever term you want to use) is also associated with poor social skills. Not all books or resources mention that fact but I've read children with ADD are sometimes mistaken for autistic kids as they share common traits. A lot of the research done on ADD is done from a purely psychiatric point of view, not many people actually bother to take a look at their emotional lives. There's a book about it called "Scattered" by Dr. Gabor Mate which I found very enlightening and it really resonated with me.

Depression also takes a huge toll on your social skills. Again, it's not commonly mentioned in literature but I found it to be far more damaging to my ability to connect with others than my Asperger's Syndrome. The bitterness and negativity that comes along with it really turns people off.

Do you have a history of emotional trauma? It often leads to depression and frequently to dissociation (feeling as if you're "not even there", as you put it.) I've read that traumatized people often develop a very keen and often dark sense of humour.

It's been a while since I was last here. I am absolutely sure that I have ADD since I cannot focus on things that I have no interest on or even remember trivialities that do not actually concern me. It's difficult since I cannot commit to tasks that do not interest me.This does lead to several problems at the workplace - I reckon that it's best I take up a second opinion from a neuro psychiatrist to determine what exactly is going on with me.

Wow... NVLD, never heard of that one before!

Oh and i'm 25 this year too - to the original poster.

I can write and write "forever" too, over and over. Although not always in the 'readership' sense of it. As most of it is personal at the moment, and nothing professional.

similar to ryuzaki, i have trouble connectin my emotion with the corresponding topic that when someone is talkin to me. but i actually speak "well" unlike his description of not being able to express .

although, i am very sure i have asperger's and have been diagnosed.

Cheers,
skribble

Maybe there's something to that. Do you have a link or do you remember where you read it? I'd never tell anyone this but when things got bad in the past I used to have this very dark concept I would laugh at to myself. It was called 'Plan B'. Basically if life wasn't going the way I wanted it to I'd douse myself in petrol and light myself on fire. I mean I literally found that funny! I still kinda do. Now it's more of a general cynicism. I now think the general bitter ironies of life are hilarious and even pleasurable in a kind of masochistic-digging at a splinter way.
WP is really good for being able to share these things that would otherwise go unexpressed.