Bipolar is just so fricking confusing :(

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Those with BP, do you find your depressive episodes are very confusing?

Let me explain a bit more what I'm talking about. I've been feeling pretty chippy lately; not really manic, because my mood stabilizer seems to keep that in check, but just very positive about my life and everything that's happening. Then the last few days and particularly today I can just feel things sort of slipping and by this point I feel well and truly crappy.

The thing is that I'm never sure how much my it's my mood that's bottoming out versus things in my life genuinely going wrong. There have been a few things that have been upsetting for me these last couple days, and when I'm moping around like I am now, it's those things that keep coming to mind. But is it *really* those things that are getting to me, or is it my mood making them seem so upsetting and causing me to fixate on them? It just seems like there's no way to tell.

The crappy thing, as well, is that I know when my mood goes up again, I likely won't even remember why I was upset, and will write the whole thing off. I won't have an objective perspective on it, I'll just be looking at it from a completely opposite angle. The things that are making me sad now will just annoy the heck out of me and make me want to say "f*ck you, world, I've got better things to do."

What I really want is for someone to just tell me what a "logical" response to these triggers is and whether they're worth the brooding I'm putting into them so that I can get some perspective on my feelings. But I know that's unrealistic. Does anyone get where I'm coming from at all?

ETA: I don't care to get into personal/family stuff on here, but if any curious cats want to talk to me about what the triggers are you can PM me, since I always wonder what people are on about when they make posts like this

I hate it too.

I hate it when people ask me why my mood has suddenly changed and I might have reasons that "triggert" it, but that's not the actual reason. It's just suddenly there.

I know this too, when I'm "up" I'm like a different person then when I'm "down", just when I'm mixed, I'm connected to both sides.

But I usually don't get very extroverted and stuff, that's why I'm still under suspicion.
And anoyed about it...!

There's no rhyme or reason.Some things depress me instantly,I can be feeling good and then something will shoot it to h--l.I know alcohol will make me depressed the next day so I don't drink that much.I wish I knew how to trigger the euphoria!! I have BP 2 so my up times are not that extreme.The worst are mixed states and the anger.Keeping regular sleep hours helps a lot.