Panic attacks with a bit of delusion?

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My panic attacks used to just be strong anxiety, now there seems to be a bit of delusion with them. The world keeps falling apart and things keep getting reset....for eternity as far as I know. One time I felt like I was in hell, one time I felt like this was one of many lives I have lived and every time I fail I see myself laying on a hospital bed with doctors looking down on me and a light bulb breaks and they all are upset and sad that this "beautiful project" failed and they felt sorry for me. Then they walk away and all the walls around me fall and I realize that "life" is something very different from what I thought it was. Almost like the movie "The Matrix" in ways.

So now maybe 1-2 times a month that will happen and I have to throw 3-5mg of clonazepam in my mouth and chew them before it hits too hard. I feel like I can't breath, I get very warm, start shaking...

The thing that makes it so scary as it is as vivid as real life, much more than any dream. Part of me thinks it might be real. I try to forget about it all, I don't talk about it much at all, really just talking about it now for the first time.

Seroquel has helped, but idk. I fear I'm going to die soon because of wrong paths I've taken in life and I will either be sent to hell, or the whole thing will be on eternal repeat, me continually turning into a child after going on a wrong path, maybe until I get it right. I have very little memory from 1-29...I'm 30 now.

Seems like psychological movies trigger it. The Butterfly Effect triggered it tonight. I started to think the movie was "speaking" to me and that I will end up going back in time or forward. But the scariest thing is that this is a never ending eternal cycle which will always end in very bad ways.

Thanks for any input. Benzo's takes it all way within 45 min, so that might tell something. It just worries me about the delusional aspect of it. And the fact that the "delusions" seem more like "reality" than "reality" itself. I feel almost like in the panic attacks I'm "fully" awake and right now I'm somewhere in the middle. Ha, like that movie about being in a dream within a dream. I feel that right now I am in a regular dream.

Oh well, I'll stay drugged up and try to avoid the psych hospital