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Bartolome
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14 Oct 2012, 2:37 pm

I have Asperger's and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The PTSD comes mostly from thee places: constant bullying as a child, and mistreatment by the education system which I have detailed in other posts. The second place my PTSD comes from is having been hospitalized multiple times for emotional breakdowns, including one in which I was a victim of medical insurance fraud, and received a wrong diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and another totally B.S. diagnosis of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (this made no sense because my alcohol consumption at the time I was committed was negligible- I was working as a TSS in a preschool setting and only drank on fridays and saturdays, when I didn't have work the next day. They accused me of skipping my meds while I was in there and wouldn't accept that their blood labs were probably in error; they threatened to restrain me when I argued with them (I studied Biological Anthropology; at my university it was a Pre Med track, and I had spent a lot of time doing bloodwork in labs); finally they retested me but never apologized (and they only did this because my parents badgered them into retesting me right away instead of waiting a week to do it).

The third part of my PTSD comes from my over 2 year long, cohabitation relationship with a psychotic Malaysian hacker goddess, who I believe had Antisocial Personality Disorder and was a habitual liar and manipulator. I don't even want to go into that one too deeply; suffice it to say, she screwed royally with my mind. Being with her was like being in a cult of 2. She controlled my perceptions of reality by keeping me on toes, throwing tantrums, sleeping around, prodding and provoking me and learning all of my buttons. After that, I lost a lot of my trust in other people. I was always a skeptic, but now I am suspicious, cynical, and jaded. The PTSD comes in with anything to do with 4chan, hackers, the Millennial Generation's culture and/or values. I think it is a degraded, immoral state of man. It's gotten better with distance, but I still react very viscerally and defensively when confronted with anything that reminds of my psychotic ex, her psychotic sex-buddy fanboys,, and their sick, twisted internet culture. These people harassed me online, hacked my facebook, exposed secrets that were personal, even sexual, and constantly threatened me whenever I signed on to AIM. My ex was probably behind most of it, just as she was behind several instances of mysterious destruction of my property when she was alone in our apartment. She would rip up my books when I was gone and deny it when I confronted her, pretending to faint and lose her memory... that got old fast. Eventually there was one month where I found out, in succession, and partially due to police and family intervention, that virtually everything she had ever told me was a lie. I gave her one more chance. She blew it when I found out about another lie. I dumped her, and I don't think she ever expected that. I think she thought I was too damaged, too vulnerable, too needy to break up with her. Boy was she wrong. But that whole, over 2 year relationship (during which we lived together for 2 years) was extremely stressful and traumatic, and I think that was what erupted for me into full-blown PTSD.



Sweetleaf
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14 Oct 2012, 4:08 pm

I have that as well, I find it to be a terrible disorder that drives me insane...I mean there is really nothing good about it I can think of.


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Bartolome
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14 Oct 2012, 9:01 pm

It definitely damaged a lot of my friendships. She was a splitter. She would always find a wedge. One of the things I developed a very visceral, negative gut reaction to the was the whole concept of the technological singularity. And now I have lost a very good friend of mine, basically over this and other intellectual disagreements that shouldn't matter to a friendship. He was a jerk anyway, but I am still taking the loss of his friendship hard.

I know that sounds bizarre. I mean, I was looking for another intellectual. That was who this girl appeared to be. But in truth I knew nothing about her. It was like having the rug pulled out from under me. And now the same with my friend, or rather, my former friend; that was one of the many relationships that suffered during my partnership with this woman.



Phew
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24 Nov 2012, 4:31 pm

I have CPTSD.. The Vietnam syndrome...



Crysta
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18 Dec 2012, 10:35 am

I also have PTSD from years of abuse, neglect and other traumatic events. It hasn't gone away as yet, and since I've recently had several upsets in my life it's gotten worse (as has my anxiety). :/ Is it common for aspies to be more susceptible to PTSD I wonder...


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Stargazinglette
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19 Dec 2012, 2:13 pm

i was born in a war zone/ terrorist country called romania. iwas abandoned by my birthmother and had to hear and witness terrorist attacks, i was so scared and no one was there to help me. i was also tortured until i was two years old. when i was two my wonderful parents came to adopt me and they were successful. i lived in canada ever since i was two years. somethings stick with me, like the cold, pain, and loud noises and hunger. i have many problems with anger and night mares. through this i learned how to use chinese stress balls to help. if you have not hear about the chinese stress balls, look them up.

love elena.



Cuckooflower
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20 Dec 2012, 7:06 pm

I live with PTSD too. I have achieved some recovery because I had two stays in two safe, reparative places (well, almost; nowhere is totally safe and healthy sadly) where I was able to process some of my trauma. But I had years and years of hell with addiction (bulimia) and suicidal depression, insomnia, agoraphobia and general bog standard PTSD symptoms before that.
It's still a big problem however.

I have it from my family experience, bullying at school, majorly from living in institutional care as teenager where I was repeatedly abused, physically degraded and had no personal freedom, and being AS was constantly bullied.
From more family stuff after that and then from absolutely hellish supported living accomodation where I had to live with other people being housed using the mental health service. I was bullied by an older psychotic woman who would piss on all the furniture and scream outside my room at night, call me terrible names, threaten me when I left my room to try to use the communal spaces. It was hell. I still have nightmares about her. She was terrifying
And just generally traumatised from years and years of hell with my eating disorders and depression etc.

I have found helpful;
Accepting the life I've had. That I have had a s**t life, but I can't have a different past now. It's too late. I have to accept certain experiences have made me who I am, whether I like them or not

And so; trying to learn to love myself and believe I can have a better life. And that I am worth fighting for

PTSD makes you actively seek to avoid your triggers on a near constant basis. For me this has not been completely possible until the last few months where I have been able to live in a relatively safe place and I don't have to see many people. Before that I had two other experiences similar to that, but in group settings; and certain people really triggered me. So I got some benefit and some of my trauma was able to be processed, but I was also set back as well by triggers, which was very hard to recover from.

Being away from your triggers if possible is important

Therapy is good, if you can access it

Giving yourself time. It's a lifelong battle really; but hopefully with some dividends for all the hard work

Affirmative literature and internet sites. These do actually help

Being around healing people. Try to meet good people and have as many of them in your life as is humanly possible. This is a must


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Cuckooflower
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20 Dec 2012, 7:11 pm

Crysta wrote:
I also have PTSD from years of abuse, neglect and other traumatic events. It hasn't gone away as yet, and since I've recently had several upsets in my life it's gotten worse (as has my anxiety). :/ Is it common for aspies to be more susceptible to PTSD I wonder...


Autistic people have more problems with memories and processing negative experiences. We don't process them normally like NT people.
So, yes, I would say


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HeartofDorkness
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21 Dec 2012, 2:01 am

Aspies are different, and some NT's are unafraid to show their dislike of different people. So, aspies are prone to bullying, when growing up and sometimes as adults. This doesn't mean all aspies are bullied, nor do all aspies have PTSD, but the very nature of being an aspie likely increases the chances of your being bullied at any time, especially if you are perceived as small, vulnerable, or lacking others to defend you.

I was horrendously bullied for many years in school by a group of guys. So, 40 years later I am still paying the price for that, however I have managed to achieve a successful life. I was lucky enough to find and marry someone who was tolerant, supportive, and able to deal with some of my difficulties (she grew up with a sister who was both mentally and physically disabled, so she was better able to handle some of my own difficulties). My night-terrors stopped after a few years of knowing I was safe with her. I realize that not everyone is lucky in such a way, but finding at least one friend who likes you no matter how you act, can go a long way towards helping.



Cuckooflower
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21 Dec 2012, 8:37 am

HeartofDorkness wrote:
Aspies are different, and some NT's are unafraid to show their dislike of different people. So, aspies are prone to bullying, when growing up and sometimes as adults. This doesn't mean all aspies are bullied, nor do all aspies have PTSD, but the very nature of being an aspie likely increases the chances of your being bullied at any time, especially if you are perceived as small, vulnerable, or lacking others to defend you.

I was horrendously bullied for many years in school by a group of guys. So, 40 years later I am still paying the price for that, however I have managed to achieve a successful life. I was lucky enough to find and marry someone who was tolerant, supportive, and able to deal with some of my difficulties (she grew up with a sister who was both mentally and physically disabled, so she was better able to handle some of my own difficulties). My night-terrors stopped after a few years of knowing I was safe with her. I realize that not everyone is lucky in such a way, but finding at least one friend who likes you no matter how you act, can go a long way towards helping.


Yes, this is so true. You're lucky to have her. My greatest wish is to meet someone like that as well.


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Stargazinglette
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22 Dec 2012, 1:43 pm

here are some ways to use chinese stress balls this is how i deal with my PTSD and asperger's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caJCwqGKRCY



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfRVjwV7qeA


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyMXsvBwHKQ


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OTb8tga-yg

these videos should help you



Cuckooflower
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23 Dec 2012, 2:22 pm

Wow hadn't heard of these! Will have a look, thanks for sharing :D


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Raziel
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31 Dec 2012, 5:56 am

I also had once PTSD or DESNOS (disorder of extreme stress, not otherwise stated).

But now, most of the symptoms are gone. I still have some left, but not severe.

The most importand thing is to get the traumatic memories in the past, because in PTSD there are still like part of the present.

I recomend EMDR and hypnosis, at least it helped in my case. :D

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9bZkCNnppM[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJRjmwbhJoM[/youtube]


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leojewels91
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04 Jan 2013, 8:11 pm

I also have PTSD from past experiences such as rape, physical and emotional abuse and childhood bullying.. I also have it from a small car accident my mom and I were in. It seems like the disorder never leaves a person. You look back at a flashback and next thing you know your crying, nightmares terrify me even more to the point where I scream in the middle of the night. :(


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07 Jan 2013, 8:11 am

I have symptoms of PTSD. I used to work at a restaurant as a bus boy and dishwasher, and I started working there shortly before my social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorders began, as well as schizoaffective disorder. Every time I go back to the restaurant to pickup carryout for a family dinner, I am so anxious that I feel like I'm going to collapse from a panic attack. The intense anxiety begins the moment I park my car and head over to the door. Walking in the door is painful. When I worked there, I used to have a ritual that involved wiping my feet on the rug as soon as I walk through the front door.


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Nathan1988
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08 Jan 2013, 11:16 pm

ears of physical abuse at the hands of other kids, emotional abuse, being molested, hospitalized for emotional meltdowns. What other reasons do I need to justify my PTSD to others.