Aspergers or severe depression.....?

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I hope i can give an insight to others because it has become more common for me to be the way i am.
Because i have not talked to anyone about what this is,what is it?

Being born into a home with my mum and dad as the last child they raised,i doubted i could overcome my weakness.
I live today as i was in my first home.I am still alone in myself everyday.I had a room with a white crib that was wooden framed all together
and every night that i slept within the crib(i was around 2 or 3 years of age)the moonlight cast a shadow from the neighbors branch-less tree into my
room through the windows and onto the opposite side of the window onto the walls in my room.This happened every night but it still keeps me up some nights just thinking of it.I stared at the shadow of the tree and the movement it made every night i slept.I was hit by a red colored car in my neighbors driveway as the car was reversing that i can still remember with vivid details.I was riding a small skateboard,my whole right leg was on the top of the skateboard and my left leg was to the left as i pushed along the side of the footpath.Well I saw the car but because i was very uncoordinated and pre occupied with pushing my left leg on the skateboard so i could move,i did not know what a car was and was hit underneath near were the exhaust is.
But still with these uncommon feelings i could still think and act.Before i was told about what kindergarten was from my parents,i really didn't know who i was or how i was meant to feel,just at odds with a lot of stuff.My mum said that kindergarten was for having fun and making friends.
I was content with how i was when i was alone because it was ok for me,but i cried the first day of going to kindergarten.
I cried when my mum drove away,she stayed for awhile but the moment i saw her not there just felt empty,even more empty when it felt like i was in a second phase of my life,the first phase being that i could understand what i was or felt i guess but what still feel then is what i still feel now with any mention of socializing.I cry when i have to think about occasions such as walking around town with my mum or grocery shopping.
So what is it?I stuttered until i become more aware of how i could do stuff and i can speak completely but not every time.
My mum and dad were divorced and i remember like it was yesterday.My mum was crying in the bathroom about the divorce but being so young and without empathy i looked at my mum from a small opening in the door and just wanted to know what the sound was.It was her crying.
I live with my mum today,my dad is with someone else.
I don't want to give out everything about what i felt and stuff but i still feel like how i did back then today.
I have a cousin who is autistic and high functioning and my whole family history is a very different and complicated.
I have talked to a doctor,i am about to get treated or diagnosed but i have been told i just have depression.
I lack communication skills but thrive with any accounts of information that comes in from vision or hearing,so i accomplish a lot of things when i am alone.
I have a lot of things in my memory that just want to come forth and still come through as it shows from my drawing talents and music and
information.
I wanted this to make sense to everyone but it is not an easy thing to accomplish.

Thanks

Depression and AS can look similar on the outside, but feel different on the inside. Do you feel sad most of the time, or find nothing makes you really happy? If you do, then you're depressed (with or without AS). If you're not feeling sad and you enjoy certain activities (even if they're weird ones) then you are not depressed.

I have always felt different from deep inside and my whole life has been from people telling me "your just shy or "your weird".

When i am sad it is usually after interactions with stranger or people i encounter every day or when i get anxious from certain stuff so i would not consider being afraid to talk or socializing with common people a personality trait for most people.My depression is way beyond feeling sad about something or not feeling any joy in music or my interests actually,that phase has long since past so see myself having some sort of mental illness like Bipolar since it has held on to me since childhood.

I do not agree with "if you enjoy certain activities, you're not really depressed". If doing something you find enjoyable makes you feel better and stop thinking about the things that run through your head all the time and make you feel sad and/or powerless, it doesn't mean the depression is gone completely. It takes over way too deep layers of your mind to be easily noticable from the outside. Your everyday activities, however, can be done by a drone, even if you manage to make yourself laugh, you can still be awfully depressed on the inside, it depends on how good are you at fighting your own brain.

Then I believe this is a phase of major depression. If nothing like that occurs, then the person must have a very weak ego, at least if you're bipolar. How would you describe major depression then? Does it look like a constant, overwhelming and unchangable state of being? Or perhaps it has its own "ups" and "downs", like when the water levels in a river change with seasons?