Am I normal? Do I have autism or something else?

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So I've always been a little odd and I just wanted to know if these things seem normal or if there might be something wrong with me. I've been thinking I might have Asperger's or maybe some other form of autism but I really wanted some other opinions because truthfully, I don't know. Perhaps I am normal or maybe I have a combination of other conditions. Anyway, I apologize if it seems choppy. I had each sentence or a small group of sentences as each bullet but then I just kind of combined them into paragraphs to save room. I don't want to make this another "Do I have Asperger's?" thread but honestly, I don't know who to talk to about these things. I'm nervous to post this type of thread since they really don't seem to be welcome here although I am not sure. So please don't say anything if you're going to be rude or mean. Some of the things below are my own experiences that may not have anything to do with Asperger's and some of them are symptoms I have experienced based on online research.

- I find that the sunlight is too bright. I often have my curtains closed in my room. Also, when I go outside, I can barely see because of the sunlight. Bright lights also bother me so I often do homework in an area that is dimly lit. Certain sounds bother me such as high pitched noises, vacuum cleaners, motorcycles, the scratching of nails on jeans, nails on chalkboard, gagging, extremely loud music, cracking of knuckles, and large nails scratching skin. Also, I have difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to someone. I am an extremely picky eater. I won't eat things unless they're prepared a certain way, look a certain way, and taste a certain way. If something I don't like gets mixed with something I do like, I won't eat the food I do like. My parents have a hard time finding me something to eat. Also, I don't try new things and I can eat the same food for days which I guess is considered abnormal. I also hate fat on meat and will not eat it due to texture issues. I hate certain textures such as sandpaper, chipped nails, and crayons. I hate the smell of hairspray. I find that it is too strong. Being in the sun too long makes me feel sick to my stomach. I am cold sometimes in the summer. I will be wrapped in a blanket when it is 90 degrees. I wear what's comfortable and don't care much if it looks good. Sometimes I wear the same outfits every week. My hairstyle is wash and wear. I dislike being hugged or touched by people unless they're family, extremely close friends, or a love interest.

- I hit myself in the head, rip paper into tiny pieces, become silent, cry, or scream when I am upset or overwhelmed. I trace the patterns of/on objects repeatedly, enjoy watching spinning or blinking objects, love watching slowly flowing water, and fiddle with objects. I walk repeatedly in circles, wring my hands, finger tap, flick my fingernails, rock back and forth, bite my lip, tap my foot, bounce my leg, rub my palms together, clear my throat, rub my face, hum, hit something repetitively, swing something repetitively, grind my teeth, rub my head against a pillow, bite my arm, dance, tuck my hands underneath my legs, rub my hands against my jeans, clench my teeth, or pace when I am upset, thinking, nervous or anxious or when there's nothing wrong. I stutter whether I am nervous or not. It doesn't matter. When I was little, I would throw small things such as stones or pull grass. In seventh grade, I was diagnosed with having a tic in which I coughed and also cleared my throat. I hand flap when I don't feel well (like when my stomach hurts) but other than that, I don't do it on a regular basis or anything.

- I am overly sensitive to criticism. I take things personally even when I think it doesn't seem to be an insult. One compliment can make me feel complete bliss and one criticism can make me feel awful. I also have difficulty identifying when someone is teasing. When I am angry, upset, or overwhelmed, I sometimes can't stop myself from crying. I also feel hurt when others doubt me.

- I get annoyed when things are overcrowded. I dislike when people walk in front of or behind me. I hate when things fall.

- I often stay at home or indoors. I find extreme relief when I do not have to go anywhere alone, talk to anyone, answer phone calls, or leave the house. I dread over upcoming events. Leaving my house causes anxiety. I am happiest in a controlled environment. I am sometimes afraid in safe situations. I need excessive reassurance if anything is changed or goes wrong. I don't like to break rules and I follow rules very strictly.

- I dislike when more than one person tries to talk to me at once. The last time this happened I blacked out for a few seconds and screamed. Everything kind of went fuzzy for a moment or two. I'm not sure what happened. It was just too overwhelming. I dislike being rushed. If someone rushes me to a certain extent, I will start screaming. It won't be at them. I just scream and sometimes black out for a few seconds too.

- I will play the same song over and over again if I like it a lot. Sometimes the song will get stuck in my head and I only remember a few lines and it just repeats itself. I escape overwhelming situations by replaying a song over and over again.

- I have problems with simple tasks. For example, cleaning seems insurmountable. I also haven't learned how to do simple things such as cooking or use the washing machine or dryer. I require specific instructions to begin tasks. I become frustrated quickly when I am unsure of what is expected or required of me. I am often seen as lazy but it's more that I am overwhelmed and I give up because I can't take feeling so stressed.

- I am often distracted by distant sounds. I sometimes forget I am talking to someone if something gets my attention.

- I escape overwhelming situations, emotions, or senses through my thoughts, actions, obsessions, daydreaming, philosophizing, writing, and more. I daydream a lot. I get lost in my own thoughts often. Socializing makes me feel exhausted and I feel the need to be alone for a while. I need periods of contemplation.

- I have a favorite pillow and blanket I must sleep with or else I get upset. I get frustrated if I can't sit in my favorite seat. When I was younger, I carried my favorite teddy bear with me everywhere. I got him when I had surgery on my knee in first grade. I slept with him all the way into middle school. If you tried to take him from me, I would get very upset. Also, I talked to my teddy bear about my problems. I have strong attachments to my favorite objects.

- I hate changes in daily routine. I follow certain routines such as checking my horoscope every morning or getting ready to go out in a certain order (Ex: I shower, get dressed, put deodorant on, brush my teeth, etc. and usually the first four are always in that order). I don't like it when my things are changed in the slightest way. I hate changes in the arrangement of my room and just my stuff in general. I also have repetitive behaviors.

- I am uncomfortable changing in public locker rooms, bathrooms, or dressing rooms. I often get dressed for gym in the bathroom. I feel really uncomfortable dressing or undressing in front of others.

- I talk too much to some people and not at all to others. Many times I have one sided conversations and tend to pull the subject back to myself without meaning to. Also, people often tell me I keep going on and on about the same thing. I get irritated or upset when topics change too much in a conversation. I get "fired up" when talking about my interests and talk too extensively about my own interests. I switch conversation topics if the current topic confuses me.

- When I was younger, I would often say things that were considered rude or mean but I never actually meant it that way. I was called an attention seeker when I was younger but I didn't want attention. I hate too much attention. I often unintentionally make my insignificant minor problems seem worse than they are or worse than the problems of others.

- I am painfully shy and slightly afraid of socializing. I experience feelings of impending doom and anxiety. I hate or avoid talking face to face with people I do not know very well. I over think my social actions. I worry too much about offending someone in a conversation or just hurting others in general. I never know what to say in social situations. I use small talk even with those who are close to me but I hate small talk. I often observe and try to understand a social situation by thinking about it excessively and determining a "plan of action" meaning how to act that would best fit the situation. I like to have a picture in my mind of what's going to happen when going to events. I need time to think of a reply in conversations. I try to avoid ridicule. I do not know how to approach people. I find it difficult to figure out how to behave in various situations. I can never find the right words. I struggle to find conversation topics. I avoid social interaction or often seem apathetic towards it at times. I have dialogue in my mind which tells me what to say. I sometimes over share information. I search for right and wrong in situations. I tend to say things that are considered socially inappropriate when I am tired, frustrated, or just acting naturally. I sometimes expect that a person will act a certain way or that I will get the same reaction when I do something that someone else did. I have a tendency to become stuck when asked questions in social situations. I hate meeting new people. I avoid new or unpredictable situations. I come off as uninterested in socializing or hanging out. I fail to predict probable consequences in social events. I escape into other rooms at parties to avoid people and too much noise. I sometimes expect people to know my thoughts, experiences, and/or opinions without me having to tell them. I have a hard time verbalizing my thoughts. Others often misunderstand me. I wish people understood me. I hate being misunderstood. I sometimes express my feelings in a way that may baffle others. I find it hard to describe or identify feelings at times. I base my thoughts and/or actions on others, experiences, or TV. I expect people to act like on TV. I express feelings of anger or frustration inappropriately. I show distress or affection that is out of proportion to a situation.

- I become clingy and slightly obsessive in relationships. I feel anxious in romantic situations. When I am in a relationships, I sometimes break up over small fights or little things.

- I am tomboyish and do not fit into gender stereotypes. I act somewhat prude and can be stubborn. I have an alternate view of what is attractive in the opposite sex. I feel trapped between being myself and trying to fit in. I have low self esteem and must force myself to like myself. I have a serious and matter of fact nature at times. I don't like to take things for granted. I have been bullied and I have been abused. I never told anyone. I am often taken advantage of because I am too nice. I sometimes offer advice when it isn't needed. I apologize too much and act like a people pleaser. I act naive and innocent. I trust too quickly sometimes. Teenagers these days tend to bore me. I have different views compared to people my age. I find it hard to get emotionally close to other people. I can act very dependent on others at times. I am honest as long as I am not threatened. I find it easier to communicate with people who are considered odd or unusual such as those who identify as LGBT or others with autism or just odd people. I feel like I do not belong and like an alien. I recognize people by clothes, voice, or hairstyle. I do not have a good sense of who I am as a person. I seem aloof and distant. I adapt my behaviors to people and opinions. I talk too fast and too quietly. My volume tends to decrease when I am talking. I dislike make up and do not quite understand the reasoning behind its use. I stop sharing how I feel about certain subjects due to fear of criticism, judgement, or harsh opinions. I am sensitive to other viewpoints that do not match mine. I dislike injustice. I feel an urge to correct people when they're wrong.

- My best friend for the past couple of years has been my grandma. I haven't had any real life friends since sixth grade. In elementary school, I had only one best friend and that was it. When people aren't friends with me anymore, I don't understand why. Also, I have stronger than normal attachments to certain people.

- I find it upsetting when people show up way earlier or later than agreed. I dislike when people drop by uninvited.

- I can't understand or interpret facial expressions and often misread them. I took the old rdos.net test with the pictures of facial expressions and couldn't recognize the majority of them. I dislike shaking hands and don't really know how to shake hands correctly. I use small sounds in conversations that others do not use. I sometimes use the wrong tone of voice on accident. I sometimes have unusual facial expressions. I often have a deer in headlights look. I tend to misread social situations and body language. I do not notice flirting. I do not make eye contact and in fact, I avoid it. I have to force it and it's extremely unpleasant. The rules of eye contact, tone of voice, body proximity, stance, and posture confuse me. I do not know where to stand when I am near somebody. I stare when making eye contact and lose my train of thought. I often do not know where to put my arms. Staring makes me uncomfortable. I don't instinctively know when to speak on the phone and sometimes I interrupt on accident. I have problems with timing in conversations. I tend to look a lot at people I like. Jokes go over my head and I have an odd sense of humor. I can not tell if someone is joking sometimes. I am often the last to understand a joke. I often can not "read between the lines" or decipher what the other person means in a conversation. I have trouble noticing sarcasm. I am often surprised what people's motives are. I take things too literally.

- I hate team sports. I hate board games.

- I've been accused of making up excuses when I was listing reasons not excuses.

- I talk to myself.

- I unintentionally repeat vocalizations made by others.

- I question almost everything. I research almost everything. I analyze existence, meaning of life, and everything else. I find everything is complex and everything has a purpose. I often question the world and my place in it. I wonder who I am and what is expected of me. I wonder if I am normal. I always want to be a better person.

- I sometimes lack empathy or have too much empathy. I do not understand why certain things upset other people so much. Also, I understand when I lie but not always when others do it. I question the actions of others to try to understand. I will say I am sorry to someone having a rough time but I do not know what to do besides that.

- I often do not talk in group conversations and I am the "odd one out". I seem to listen and never join in. I don't like being around a lot of people.

- I have an odd posture. I am very clumsy. I will sometimes trip over the same thing more than once. I have been told numerous times that my voice is monotoned. I have poor awareness and poor body control. I tend to fall, stumble, or bump into things easily. I sit in my chair with my toes pointed down so I am on my tippy toes. I have a young sounding voice. I can not ride a bike because I can not balance. I always hold my pencil in an awkward position. I have poor handwriting and it doesn't get much better. I have trouble with drawing and coloring. I had difficulty tying shoes when I was little. I have difficulty judging distances, height, depth, or speed. I often find my shirt is buttoned incorrectly or it is inside out. I walk/run on my toes when barefoot. I never smile in pictures. I don't really know how and it looks odd. I drop things when my attention is on other things especially small objects. I have difficulty cutting or drawing a straight line. I can not hit the ball in baseball. I look younger than I am. I am fidgety. I sometimes have poor hygiene habits. I won't go into detail.

- I hate when others criticize my interests. I hate being bothered when I am doing something that interests me. I can only focus on one interest at a time. I tend to misjudge how much time has passed when I am involved in interesting activities. I have an avid perseverance in gathering and cataloging information on topics of interests. I tend to get so absorbed in interests that I forget about everything else. I often go straight to my room after school and either sleep or focus on my interests. I collected dolls when I was younger but didn't play with them. I bought them because I liked their hair or clothes. I enjoyed sorting, building, investigating, or taking things apart as a child. However, I also liked to act out things I saw on TV. I used dolls to imitate what was on TV. I got in trouble once for trying to copy a woman giving birth on TLC. Mom had left the TV on baby story too many times. I collected snow globes, stickers, shells, and stuffed animals. I am obsessed with community service, Japanese culture, video editing, Sailor Moon, fiesta online, and music.

- I am in honors and AP classes. I am better at science, math, and Spanish. I was a straight A student in elementary school. I started to over think my school work in middle school and my grades were slipping. Later on in high school, homework started to make me feel overwhelmed so I would stop doing my homework or do as little as possible. I still got good grades in certain classes that interested me and people would call me genius when I did things like remember a math formula from three years ago or even something from the year before. My favorite book when I was little was about the human body. I wanted to read the dictionary when I was younger and learn every word. I ace Spanish tests without having to study. Spanish is another interest of mine. I aced a college style test in anatomy after only studying for ten minutes beforehand. Everyone else didn't do so well. I have a strong memory for certain topics. I had a fascination with numbers and letters while growing up. I still do. I notice patterns especially visual ones. I won the school spelling bee twice at my elementary school. I notice details that others do not. I lack attention to detail or I pay too much attention to detail. I have unconventional ways of solving problems. I solve math problems differently compared to my peers. Many times I look for patterns in how it is solved. I can sing and play instruments very well. I often categorize things. As a child, I used to alphabetize my dad's collection of movies and my collection of books for fun when I was little.

- I have difficulty remembering verbal instructions. I am a slow worker in school and I am often the last to finish a test. I have problems starting and finishing projects. I am easily distracted. I find it hard to multitask. I find it hard to learn things I have little to no interest in. I dislike working while being observed. I find it difficult to take notes during lectures. I need lists and schedules in order to get things done. I have problems with concision. I have poor organization skills. I mix up pronouns. I have trouble forming proper sentences. I have difficulty describing or summarizing things such as events, conversations or something I have read. I used to have trouble reading clocks. I can't seem to simplify things easily. I have trouble making decisions at times. I was impulsive when I was younger. I prefer to do things on my own. I need to do things myself in order to remember them. I either do not raise my hand in class or I raise it too much. I have difficulty cooperating with a group.

- I am afraid of vomiting.

- I guess I should add I got a 191 out of 200 on the recent rdos.net test for Asperger's. I don't really know if there's much credibility in it though.

- I guess I should also note that my parents thought my brother had autism when he was little but they never got him checked.

Last edited by LunaOsa on 28 Jun 2013, 9:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Normal for a person with autism spectrum disorder.

ASD definitely. Some things you included didn't quite apply (they seemed NT to me) but yeah, pretty much an autistic. You also said you're afraid of vomiting--that's a phobia, emetophobia. Some other people on WP have it.

Welcome

Thank you.

Which things seem NT?

Oh my gosh, you're like a little, female me. That's kind of weird.

Could you share more information? I may or may not have a solution for you.

Sorry. Um.. I should probably reword that. I was diagnosed with having tics. I had a coughing tic, a sniffling tic, and a throat clearing tic (if that makes sense?). I wasn't diagnosed with any disorders or anything like Tourette's. I was just said to have tics. They went almost completely away so no worries

No, I understood, I was just wondering if it actually was a tic, or if it was misdiagnosed. I have a cough/sniff/throat-clear thing also, but it's not a tic, I'm pretty sure it's an acid reflux thing.

They tested me to see if it was acid reflux. It wasn't :/ It's a thing I do when I am nervous. I do have issues with acid reflux though.

Ah, okay.

One doctor tried putting me on lactose-free milk (which, it turns out, was on the right path, but would have only been a small part of tbe problem)...and many years down the road, another doctor said "Some people just cough."

I also tried telling that same doctor that I thought I might have a reflux thing, and she said "I've never heard of a reflux where you don't get heartburn. We don't really test for reflux unless it's serious; you either have it or you don't. Take some Tums and see if you feel better."

We switched away from that doctor, but I'm still reluctant to bring it up with my new one...I don't want him to think I'm a hypochondriac, too =/ Besides, he'd probably just put me on PPIs and make the problem worse =)

...but this certainly isn't the most delightful topic to chat about, I am ruining your thread... =(

Sensory hypersensitivities, a common characteristic of autism, but also seen in many other conditions.



Stimming is another autistic trait. Overload is secondary to sensory sensitivities, and stimming can often be a way of coping with overload.



This could be a normal quirk, or it might be a sign of self-esteem issues. Do you tend to react more strongly to criticism than to compliments? If one person compliments you on something and someone else criticizes you on the same thing, which opinion do you take?



This is a social skill issue. Many autistic have trouble reading nonverbal cues, imagining themselves in someone else's perspective, or both.



Again, could be a normal quirk, or a sign of self-esteem or self-confidence issues.



Probably sensory issues. All three of those are often associated with unpleasant sensations (crowds make noise, jostle, and create movement in peripheral vision; people walking in front or behind might accidentally touch you or cause you to run into them; and falling objects often make sudden loud noises when they land).



Social phobia, or maybe agoraphobia.



Possibly avoidant personality.



This is common among autistics.



Sensory overload.



Intense interests - another autistic trait.



Probably executive dysfunction or sequencing issues.



Sensory issues - inability to tune out irrelevant sensory stimuli.



Could be normal. But if you do this to an extreme degree, and it impairs your ability to function, you might have a problem with dissociation.



This is a typical introvert trait. Most autistic people are introverts (although not all), but so are about 25% of non-autistic people. Whereas extroverts feel invigorated and refreshed by social interaction and get restless when alone, introverts are tired by social interaction and need alone time to recharge. It's a normal personality variation, although very extreme introversion can be associated with autism or schizoid personality.



Another form of autistic intense interests - attachments to certain objects. While young NT children often have a 'transitional object' (such as their favorite teddy bear), autistic attachment to objects often persists past the age at which this behavior is typical.



Need for routine is also an autistic trait.



Could be a sign of poor body image. Are you uncomfortable because you think they will judge your appearance?



Social skill impairments. Plus, talking on and on about one topic and disliking changes in topic could be a sign of difficulty shifting attention.



Social phobia, probably secondary to your social impairments.



Coping strategies to compensate for social impairment.



Social skill impairments.



Preoccupied or fearful attachment style, or possibly a trait of borderline personality (although you don't seem to have any other borderline traits so far).



These are fairly normal quirks.



Self-esteem issues, and the common dilemma of pretty much anyone who is different from the majority. (Even gifted kids often hide their skills from classmates to fit in.)



This is fairly normal.



Many people with social skill impairments are 'easy victims' because we're less able to spot the danger signs and figure out how to avoid a bad situation. Many of us are unpopular with other children, and therefore easy targets for bullies. In addition, past rejection can make a person desperate for affection, and therefore easy to manipulate by someone who takes advantage of this.



Social skills impairments, as well as just plain being different.



Suggestive of an insecure attachment style, such as fearful attachment style.



This is common for autistic people. Temple Grandin, a famous autistic woman, has called herself an 'anthropologist from Mars'. And people who are themselves atypical are often more accepting of atypicalities of other people.



Prosopagnosia - face-blindness. It's an impairment in the ability to recognize individual faces. Many prosopagnosics compensate by using other cues to identify people. Prosopagnosia is very common among autistic people, but can also occur alone.



This could be alexithymia (difficulty understanding your own emotions, associated with autism or depression) or another indicator of possible borderline personality.



More social skill impairments.



Not understanding it's purpose is probably related to social skills, while disliking it might be due to sensory sensitivities (I can't stand having gunk on my skin, especially my face).



Could be reflective of social phobia or low self-esteem, or could be simply 'picking your battles' (a useful social skill). Do you ever avoid expressing an opinion when not expressing it causes harm to you, such as not telling someone who cares about you to stop doing something you find upsetting?



This is fairly normal.



Social skill impairments, and possibly preoccupied attachment style.



Need for routine.



More evidence of social skill impairments.



Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. However, why do you dislike them? Poor motor coordination can make team sports particularly unpleasant (no one wants you on their team, or they get mad at you for dragging down the team). In addition, both team sports and board games are social activities, so poor social skills, social anxiety, or introversion can make you less likely to enjoy those.



Other people being jerks.



Both autistic traits. Repeating what others say is known as echolalia.



High need for cognition, a normal personality trait associated with higher intelligence.



Awareness of differences and/or self-esteem issues.



Poor social skills.



Motor coordination issues, social skill impairments, and stimming.



Intense interests.



Giftedness. Many high functioning autistic people have a higher than average IQ.



Executive dysfunction, specific learning difficulties, and social skills issues. All typical of autism.



Who isn't? Vomiting is horrible.

However, if this is an extreme fear that interferes with everyday activities, you might have emetophobia.

First off, I wanna say thank you because that post really helped a lot. Anyway, I suppose I should answer some of the questions in your post.

I do react more strongly to criticism. I tend to take my own opinion in the instance that you proposed but when it comes to my opinion, I would probably lean more towards the person criticizing me because I do have low self esteem for sure. Yeah.. That probably didn't make sense.



Yeah. Probably another self esteem issue of mine.



Yeah, pretty much.



Everything you already stated is why.


Finally, yes, my fear of vomiting does interfere with my life. I'm also afraid of germs.

Don't worry You're fine!

I'm fine about ruining your thread? Or fine about letting every doctor think I'm a hypochondriac? Or I'm fine as in there's nothing wrong with me and it's all just in my head? >:(

Fine as in you didn't ruin my thread, silly

Ohhhhh, okay. Good save.