Psychosis and Fragmented Thoughts

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I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 17, having my first psychotic breakdown possibly due to the stress caused when my father abandoned us. Having moved around a lot growing up, my family structure was the only thing that was constant, so it really took its toll on my mental health.

One thing that I notice that's changed before this 'era' is no matter how hard I try, I can't quiet my mind. It's like I have a bunch of useless programs running in the background -- and I suspect my working memory is always working on overload. I've never had it evaluated but I did notice a severe worsening of my capacity to hold thoughts in my mind over the years, thoughts I want, at least. The chronic stress has also probably atrophied my hippocampus, which is important in the formation of memories, so I'm doubly screwed.

When I try to think of nothing, I get fragmented and random "thoughts" in my head. Random images and voices saying random things that have nothing to do with anything, all disconnected from each other. They are not normal thoughts. This happens both when I'm am fully awake and almost slipping into slumber...

I am taking a subthreshold dose of Abilify (10 mg per day) to help with my memory problems and I feel it has helped somewhat. I don't want to take the recommended dose (30 mg per day) because, quite frankly, my experiences with antipsychotic medications have been horrible, even if Abilify has the least side-effects of all of them. It's also incredibly expensive, so I ration my supply so that it lasts much longer. Neither the psychiatrist nor my mother know I'm doing this.

I have talked to my psychiatrist about these fragmented thoughts and she said it's a symptom of psychosis, but I am more inclined to think it is a memory problem. If that is associated with psychotic illnesses I don't know. So my question is , those of you who have been diagnosed with a similar mental illness, do you have the same problem?