I don't know how to put this articulately or anything, but I often get so stressed and overstimulated that I feel like I'm going to explode. I have panic attacks pretty regularly, but these episodes are different, I feel filled with rage, like I need to do something like destroy something or hurt myself. I never do, but I'm worried that at some point I could lose my ability to control this. An example of this occurred just this evening. I was in my living room with my family, my parents, my brother, and my sister. They were all upset. My brother was having a bad day and was agitated, my father was stressed over my brother's car breaking down, my sister was cranky for some reason I'm not really sure of and my mom was upset by all of this. I, being the empath I am, absorbed these emotions and was feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I wanted to leave, but didn't feel I could for fear of making the whole situation worse. Still, I couldn't bear to just sit there and I nervously built a box around my head with pillows because I needed to escape. This made my mother get upset with me which was upsetting because I was already overwhelmed by the negativity. I couldn't say anything so I just sat on the couch for an hour trying not to cry, feeling like I was about to burst with rage at any moment. I finally got to leave and immediately went to my room and had a meltdown. I'm still seething with anger and I don't know how to handle myself in these moments. They've gotten more frequent over the last year or two. Does anyone else deal with this? How do you cope? Sorry about the long rant.
29 Jun 2016, 5:02 am
