medicated schizoaffective disorder bipolar type

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I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type after one of my stays in a short term mental hospital. There's a whoooole lot to say about my experience with it, but since I'm medicated now, and I experience it quite differently, it's more of a chore to explain it all over again.

In short, before medication, I experienced visual, tactile, and auditory hallucinations, as well as paranoid delusions. Now, I only ever get brief psychotic episodes under extreme stress, while before it was constant, and when it was in a specific episode, it didn't have to be from stress.

One thing about antipsychotics to me is that it's very, very difficult to convince myself to keep taking them. To me, it's more like... the medication makes me too.. "lazy" and "laid back" to worry about the things that I need to be worried about (my "delusions.") It takes a lot of effort for me to think, "ok well, MAYBE my loved ones could be right. There is a chance that I'm not in danger, and that I need to stay on my medicine." It's very hard, but it's getting easier. I don't know if that's a good thing or not deep down inside, but I'm trying to let it happen.

The brief psychotic episodes I still get on medication aren't even that bad. They're auditory only, and while they can be very stressful, it's not as bad as how things happened before.

Actually, for me, my auditory hallucinations specifically are always stress induced, while the rest are random. Maybe that's why I still get the auditory ones and not the others. Hm.

Greetings. I just wanted to say that I have read your post. I am not super familiar with schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type, or psychotic disorders in general.

Last night, I had a dream about going psychotic and in the dream I believed zombie existed and I locked myself in a room, fearing that zombies would come in. I would hear them outside the door and stuff. I also believed the military broke into the room, along with other people trying to get into the room. I thought someone almost shot a person in the room with me, and I tackled them, and they got injured because of it. It was just a dream. I know it is nothing like real life, but I can understand if I had to have this in real life constantly.

And it says you are 16, the same age of me, so I can't really imagine how your life is. So if you want to explain anything to me, you can PM me. Or you can explain more here. Anyways, if your medication is helping you, I suggest you keep taking it until your doctor advises you otherwise.