First Therapy Appointment

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I have my first therapy appointment in a long time tomorrow morning (31st) at 09:30. I am nervous but pleased because I've been on the waiting list for a while. I am trepidatious, as I am with any new situation, because I don't know what to expect in terms of doctor, format, tone etc.. I walked past the building today so I know where it is, and that made me feel a bit better. I tried looking up the doctor for a picture, age or gender, but without a first name it was impossible.

I hope they are understanding about ASD. I don't mind being challenged on my behaviours but there are some things I can't change which need to be worked with, not against. I don't know what, if anything, they will know about me in advance. I am concerned that if I don't get myself across properly within the hour, they might not give me another session (this is the NHS). But therein lies the problem - what is it exactly that I want to get across? Generally speaking I think I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it.

Finally I am not confident in disclosing all of my mental health problems to the doctor. They are quite diverse and I've never sought treatment for most of them; if I lay them all out in one go, I might be taken for a liar or an hysterical exaggerator, especially because I am a young woman:
-ASD (diagnosed)
-Severe depression (diagnosed)
-Derealisation
-Hallucination
-Eating Disorder 10+ years untreated
-Other weird stuff
-Obsessions, social difficulties, sensory difficulties all part of ASD

Aaaaah! As you can see I am having a bit of an internal freak-out about this whole thing and overthinking it even as I try to rationalise. It is definitely because I don't know what to expect; my brain is spiralling . Case in point, it is 01:30am and I've been trying to go to bed for hours, but I can't switch off.

Good luck! I would focus on what is most pressing at the moment, maybe write some things down beforehand. First session is fairly superficial at least from my experience.

^^^ thanks, I'm sure when I get there the hour will just fly by and I'll wonder what I was so worked up about
I will definitely take some notes just in case!

Best of luck Rachel!
As mentioned i think writing down notes would help but maybe better still over time write down things that come to you ( epiphanies ), in essence a bio of yourself overtime. This will help them (I think) very much as they will be able to create a bigger and better picture of yourself. This they can use to observe the differences in observation to what you have written down to allow them a better understanding of yourself that Will give a more in depth portrayal. As many seem to find here that they are often misunderstood by professionals/people because they have a harder time expressing especially when put on the spot, this in turn can give a false portrayal to the specialist, as we know many if not most on the spectrum can give off certain body language/signals that isnt necessarily reflective of the inner, therefore giving a false impression and the misunderstandings... As you will no doubt find out over time you will come across certain things that in the past you may have perceived as been widely experienced only to find these certain things tend only to reflect with people on the spectrum ( as i keep finding out). A diary may also help you to find patterns/triggers in certain behaviors/experiences. As you seem to like writing it might be another avenue to ponder on ( if you already haven't done? )


( why is it that i have a perfect explanation in my head but when it comes to writing it down it hardly ever ends up the way i had originally thought!??? lol.. im not just having to translate other people i have to blooming translate myself as well! lol)

All the best for your appointment

Well, why exactly are you seeking therapy? That's what you should focus on. Just describe your problem.

Well it went OK, I think it could have gone better (i.e. been more engaged) but I don't think that was down to me, actually.

The doctor was nice enough, an indian gentleman. He seemed to want to know more about ASD; whether because he doesn't know much about it, or because he wants my experience of it, I do not know. Anyway most of the session was short questions about that; do I collect anything, how am I with eye contact, what is my social life like.

One thing though, he started the session with some really basic questions and I don't know why. For example, could I tell him the date, the year, the town I live in. I kind of aspie-d the first few actually (pro conversation skills ):
him- do you know who the current prime minister is?
me- yes.
him- ... so, who is it...?
me- oh, right. Theresa May.
I thought that was a little strange but maybe they have to ask stuff like that. About halfway through the session he asked me how I did in school, was I below average or 'a scholar' as he put it. After I told him my grades, his attitude and line of questioning changed quite a bit. He was less condescending anyway, though I can't see why he'd presume I was stupid or ignorant in the first place.

Because his questions were quite clinical I didn't feel any emotion while I was there. Whenever I met with the uni therapist I was an emotional wreck by the end lol. I did remember something I'd forgotten though. He asked me about my relationship with my parents, and I described my fear of being told off. Anyway I remembered that when I was 16-17, I was cycling to college and I got hit by a car. Not too badly, just cuts & bruising on my leg and minor bike damage, the driver pulled out of a junction without looking. I never told my parents because I thought I would get into trouble. I even took my bike in for repair in secret. I don't know how much of that is their influence and how much of it is me, but I've got some serious issues there. That's just weird .

He sounds old school. What were his directions? Meds? Follow-up appointment?

He mentioned a follow-up appointment but he said it might be a while. Something about provisions in our area being stretched too thin.

He did mention medication too, although I said right at the start I don't take any and I'd rather not if I can help it. Nonetheless he brought it up again at the end, for depression more than anything else.

The factual questions such as date and prime minister were standard psych intake questions, to see how in touch you are with reality. If you thought this was 1916 and you were in New York City, they'd figure you were psychotic. Most people will get these questions right (or possibly be a day off on the date), but if you fail them all, that tells them something. Sounds like you passed.