Is it me or is it the world?

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I've posted a bit about this in other threads, but I'm starting a new one because I am having new feelings.

My building continues to be scary. There was a fight in the hallway today. It was ugly. And there is this cat that I saw in the hallway a week ago. He's a beautiful adolescent, beautiful and full of cuddles. He was anyway. Today I saw him and he let out a mewing cry and when I went to pet him he pulled away. I know someone has hurt him. I seem to be surrounded by violence and I don't like it.

I feel myself sinking into depression again, but honestly I think depression is a reasonable response to my environment. I know I'm mentally unwell, but sometimes it is hard to work out what is my defect and what is a reasonable response to my life.

You don't sound defective to me. You're not the one who hurt a friendly, beautiful animal. Don't give up on him though - it sounds like you could both use an ally.

Do you have cats of your own?

Thanks.

I have two five year old brothers. They are lovely. I've had them since they were kittens. I would like to take the hallway cat in, but he may not get along with mine. It's possible my mother would take hallway cat, which would be good.

I'd ask around first, in case he already lives with someone in your building. If not then I hope you find him a good home. I'm also hoping there is a special hell for people who are unkind to cats

Oh he belongs to someone in the building - the neighbour across the hall. Her boyfriend hurt the cat. I heard it when it happened. I've heard way too many unpleasant things emanating from behind that door. And it's spilling out into the hallway. Yesterday a girl was beating some intoxicated guy up. Eventually she got the worst of it (which I saw as somewhat predictable; he was twice her size!) She seems to be in the dealer hierarchy.

Your comment has brought something to my attention which I had overlooked. It is possible that the girl cares for the cat. I feel bad for her. She was sobbing the other night. I think the boyfriend hit her too.

Anyway, with regard to my mental state; it is not good. I feel that I have tried so hard in my life to be a successful person, but with no positive result. I'm just not sure what to do next.

In that case he may be chipped, so if you rehome him he'll likely be reported missing and picked up on his next visit to the vet. Maybe an anonymous phone call to the local animal protection people would be a better approach.


I'm not very good at giving advice, but a few things come to mind:

-- Environment has a huge effect on mental health, so you need to start looking for a new apartment as soon as possible.
-- Stay invisible and don't worry about your neighbours. It sounds like they're too busy kicking the crap out of each other to notice you.
-- If you're on antidepressants, speak to your doctor about temporarily increasing the dosage.

I know this probably doesn't mean much to you just now, but you really aren't the problem here. Sometimes stuff happens that isn't your fault, and there's nothing positive to be gained from it. You just have to get out.

Damn! I hadn't thought of that.


The building is scheduled for massive renovation, so things will change underneath me. I'm hoping to parlay this into a unit in the new addition. The owners are going to flip the building I think.

They are quite wrapped up in themselves, it's true.

She is talking about lowering them. I think she wants to try me on something else. She thinks I'm bipolar.


Thanks. I am looking to the future.

I'm sure lots of ppl identify with the gist of your post.
And lots of them live in similar situations.

If you are physically fit, you should seriously consider gathering up your money and resources and hitting the road and finding your way out of the city. I assume that's where you are.

Trust me, it'll never get better if you stay in the place you are.
Bad environments kill even neurotypical ppl.

A bad environment is the worst thing that ppl put themselves through.

Do the research online.
There many places in this country to go to where you won't have to experience the worst an urban liberal progressive society has to offer.
That is, poverty, malice, overcrowding, over-sexualization of women, random violence, and of course "cultural diversity".