What is wrong with me?

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Hey Everyone,

I have been seeing a therapist for a few months and he diagnosed me with OCD, Paranoia and Depression. I was on Zoloft but I quit taking it because it made me feel dull. Okay, I get the OCD thing. I do things in three, I have to sweep the whole house at least once a day, and have crazy paranoid thoughts of harm coming to my family unless I repeat certain things to make it go away. What I don't understand is why I have so many meltdowns where I get physically violent. There are patched holes in the wall, and destroyed items throughout my history. I feel like I am not a violent person except when the meltdown occurs which here lately happens almost everyday. I feel like I cannot cope with the everyday social criteria that makes you a husband and father. To best describe it, I feel like a dog that has been petted too many times and just needs to be left alone. I love my family, I mean they are everything to me. Oh, I also have no friends nor want any. I finally told my therapist about me staring at the F on the gas gauge and waiting to see when the needle will go under the full mark when I am driving. I feel like it should never go under full or there is anxiety that I will start drastically start losing my gas. I don't like combing my hair or taking a shower either. I really hate authority too.
Thanks.

SSRI's are gonna make you feel dull and have sexual dysfunction. You have to decide which is worse, the side effects or your uncontrolled OCD/meltdowns.

There are other treatment options out there but unless you are ready to inform yourself on these options and advocate for yourself, you have a 99% chance to have another SSRI like Zoloft at you by your doctor. You reallly should reconsider trying medication again whether it is Zoloft or something else.

You could go back to your doc/psych & ask to try a different med than Zoloft & tell em about the side-effects you were having. Different people respond to meds differently & so it's a trial & error process to find the rite ones.