Loss of empathy

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So I have this problem. Actually usually I don't think about it, but when I do it feels like my life is over.

The problem is, I've noticed that when I try to think about it, I can relate to people less and less. Like I think about them more and more like characters in a movie. It's been like this for a few years, I remember having a lot of empathy before, I could think a lot about what others were thinking and feeling, but now it's like I'm just pretending.

Like, recently I met a really nice girl, but because I like her I can't stop wondering if it's really her, the person inside, that I like. And she told me she likes me, but I just can't imagine that. Not like she's lying but more like her feelings don't really exist.

It feels sort of like the part of me that could see other people as real people is missing. Please help me, this is ruining my life

And please, I don't want to talk about if I'm seeing a doctor or taking medication, that's beside the point right now.

Sounds like you are over analyzing things at the moment. Until you get to know this girl really really well you won't know the real her , you are just liking what you see and what she lets you know about her and that's all that's needed in the beginning of a friendship/relationship.

Aktualny, this wasnt about gettingworse to know the real her, the problem was imagining that she even exists. Like, that she even Has thoughts and feelings. It was impossible to be with her with those thoughts, so I had to stop seeing her, I startede ignoring her messages...

The word thing is, I've started having these thoughts about almost everyone I care about. Its like everyone is just a character to me. How can I possibly love anyone, or care about them, or be friends, if I don't ser them as a person?

Sounds a bit like derealisation, only on the social part of life. If that, it might be a reaction to enormous anxiety and stress.
Can be coped with but probably you need some help and understanding to calm down and be yourself again.

I thought about derealisation, but this is more like, you're supposed to ThinkPad a ceirtain way about people. Like a reflex, you're supposed to Imagine what they are thinking and feeling. Byt it's like I'm losing this reflex. Like, I have not idea what "other people" even medans anymore.

Why did you break off contact with her? I don't know much about your problem, but it seems like regular social contact would help to improve it. That way you get input from reality instead of having to rely on your own mind (which caused the problem) to make sense of things.

Because I literally couldn't think about her or anything that reminded me of her, without these thoughts coming. And if you like someone you think about them all the time. And would you want to be with someone who thinks you're not real?

You said up front that you don't want to talk about therapy or medication but I think you do need to talk to someone. What you have is probably depersonalization/derealization and it sounds fairly extreme. You need to talk to someone to give you perspective, and possibly take medication and see if that helps. I don't know the standard treatment for this but I think the first step would be talking to a psychiatrist.

I don't think I feel anything for anybody. Don't really have emotions. And I like it that way. It's not a problem unless you want to be an empath?

We are all different, but we are all the same. Remember that.

You are not alone, and yes you do empathize, just maybe not for the same people right now as most people, or for the same things even, or about the same things.

So... You want our help, than you turn around and say you don't want actual help. The truth is that is the point now. This really sounds like just depression setting in or maybe some form of PTSD. Why even make this point if you don't want answers that will actually help you? YOU knew the answer before you even said anything. Go find a therapist, try that out for awhile. I really suggest finding a therapist that specializes in autism, they'll be trained in depression also. Call any autism resources in your area and ask them for recommendations or look on https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/. Make sure to read online reviews of anyone you think about going to. I'd leave meds as a last resort kind of thing. St. John's wort can be a good herbal supplement for depression if you prefer a more natural root. That is if depression is the cause. You really need to see a professional to know exactly why this is happening.

On a more positive note... I really doubt your empathy is "gone". The only real cause of something permanent like that happening is a Traumatic Brain Injury, which ironically can cause other people to become more empathic. Really depends on how the brain rewires afterwards. I actually had my empathy hidden from me for most of my life due to childhood trauma. Once I got my trauma and depression under-control I felt it again. I realized than it wasn't gone, it was just covered over by the "darkness". I actually test as INFJ(P) now instead of INTJ. I definitely feel like myself a lot more now. The weird part is looking back I was still using my empathy, I just wasn't aware of it or felt it. A lot of things make more sense now to say the less.

So in conclusion... Just go to a damn therapist, you know you need to.