redrobin I actually greatly enjoy living in low population areas. Favorite place to live so far was a village of 700 in the summer and less in the winter. One traffic light, and it was a really big deal when it got put in.
I can understand it not being for everyone, though. I seemed to be one of the only people my age who didn't complain and actually liked it.
As far as suicidal thoughts go, I haven't had any in ages but could never act on them anyway due to my philosophical thoughts on the matter. If I were capable of it, I wouldn't be typing to you guys right now having been through what I have been through.
That said, definitely seek help if you're feeling that way. If you can't afford it, go seek help at the nearest university or contact therapists and see if they will do pro-bono work for you.
Every university with a psych department will have free therapy for any members of the public, almost universally. They need to get experience, but have had quite a lot of training and have obtained many qualifications. There are quite a lot of programs out there to help people in tight situations, too.
Edit: going to add, my therapist works with me pro-bono, so I say all of this from personal experience. Help is out there, you just have to reach out and try to get it.