Help! I have been diagnosed as BPD, but it doesn't quite fit

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So, I have been in and out of the mental health system since I was 16, I am nearly 38. I am due to start group therapy for BPD in February, but the more I research things, the more confused I've become. I scored 135 Neurodiverse, 101 Neurotypical on the Rdos test. This has only added to my confusion. I scored 15 our of 36 on the BPD test the Psychologist did on me, this doesn't seem high either. I desperately want to know what has been essentially destroying my life. Any help or guidance?

There are now specialists who can diagnose autism in adult females. They tend to be located in wealthy parts of the USA for people who can afford them. Such as the gold coast of Connecticut.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/ ... ife-afford

But, it is called an autism spectrum because no two cases are alike. In other words, just because you know 80% about what a Aspie is good at and not good at, doesn't mean you can figure out the other 20%

It helps to have a family history as autism typically runs in families. It is a lot easier to diagnose a female if all of their offspring is autistic.

It certainly helped my marriage to have a diagnoses, as it allowed my wife to stop trying to fix what wasn't broken.

I am in the UK.
I suspect that my 20 year old Son (who is diagnosed as severely Dyslexic) and that my Mother 'may' be. I have been researching in depth for over a month now. I was a strange, and friendless child. I am currently not drinking, nor taking medication, both of which have been crutches. This has made me frankly uninterested in seeing other humans. The conundrum is that I have a 21 month old Son and I want to 'do' better for him. My life is a mess.

Logically an early diagnosis should allow better treatment options for kids and a decidedly better outcome.

In practice, this has led to tired and frustrated kids and parents as far too much energy is spent towards trying to make the kids "normal." You find Aspies here with little self confidence because they never had the time to be good at anything. In the US, I see kids as being "cash cows" for therapists who get paid by the hour. Perhaps the situation is better in the UK.

I knew nothing about Aspergers before the Psychologist I saw asked me- "had ever considered that I had Autism?" Well, I shrugged it off, as as terrible as it sounds, I didn't want to be labelled 'ret*d' Yes, after extensive research, I know know that having Autism doesn't mean you are ret*d. I have to speak to the Psychologist by the 8th of January, and I am no where nearing finishing my studies. If I don't agree to the BPD course by then, I'll most likely never get a chance at therapy again. She said that she didn't think that I had Autism based on the fact that I said eye contact set my Disassociation off. Apparently, someone with Autism wouldn't be able to explain lack of eye contact like that.....

You may want to ask in the women's forum about the difference between therapy for BPD and female Aspergers in the UK.

The situation in the UK in the 80's and even 90's probably was that unless your child was truly mentally impaired then you have nothing to worry about. I was told that my nearly 21 year old Son was "naughty" when in fact he was severally Dyslexic. He was born in 97, I did not get him into special schooling until he as 10 years old. I was reading Adult Novels at age 9, in one night. I could not comprehend his issues. For that I now feel shame. But for my toddlers sake, I must strive to be a better parent. The major factor being getting to the bottom of what us preventing me from functioning in life.

Can I re-post in that section, without sactions incurred?

I don't know. But, this forum does not seem to be tightly moderated.

Have you done any other autism tests such as the AQ and the systemising/emotional index tests?
You can find them online, and more test results would give a clearer indication.